(no subject)
Sounds ridiculous, but every time the clock reads 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55 or 11:11, I make a wish. I've been doing this for years now...and it doesn't work. So I stopped. I made ONE wish the past few days and it never came true and it won't. 12 wishes a day for one thing and it never happened...maybe in the near future, but I need hope now and it seems I am without. I find beauty and strength in the little things...sounds cheesy, but it's true. *sigh* I think the only way I make it thru the day is with the faith that she'll return and we'll both be grateful for having known one another and be happy and live happily ever after. Lol. I think, either deep down I know it WON'T happen, or deep down I have a feeling it WILL. There are a lot of things I wish were different...with her...with life...with love...with the world. but I can't change anything. So I pray for the serenity to deal with these ailments.
Sometimes I think...if God is love, and I give up on love...am I giving up on God? If I stop believing in love...am I turning my back on God? It's hard for me to live with these thoughts...they hurt, but I can't help but think of these things. But I'm not too proud to admit when I'm wrong. I was wrong and I'm sorry. I did a lot of things that I'm not proud of and I'm sorry. I wasn't the best I could be and I'm sorry. I need you and I'm sorry. I need to feel I gave my best and someday I will...until we meet again, my love...
Sometimes I think...if God is love, and I give up on love...am I giving up on God? If I stop believing in love...am I turning my back on God? It's hard for me to live with these thoughts...they hurt, but I can't help but think of these things. But I'm not too proud to admit when I'm wrong. I was wrong and I'm sorry. I did a lot of things that I'm not proud of and I'm sorry. I wasn't the best I could be and I'm sorry. I need you and I'm sorry. I need to feel I gave my best and someday I will...until we meet again, my love...