Attn: George Weasley

[deranged_gofer]

My misguided brother,

I have compiled a list of points. I hope you will peruse them very carefully.

Point the first: Flowers make for a low-stress environment, both for employees and customers. They are thought to be therapeutic and soothing.
Point the second: Flowers appeal to both genders. After all, roses have thorns, and Muggle men in Hawaii

Comments

[deranged_gofer]

Dear Fred,

No. You're wrong and that's why I disagree with you.

Also, I was born first. And mum loves me more.

I hope you can agree to agree with me as I am right.

Sincerest regards,

George [insert pretentious use of own last name]

[deranged_gofer]

Dear George,

Your counter-argument is hardly cogent. The fact that you were born first means nothing, except that you must be especially immature for your age. Mum does not love you more. She loves me more because I have a full set of mental faculties - I never lost my memory and went loony like some people.

However... if we're going to cite trivial things as evidence, then my idea is better because F precedes G in the alphabet.

I will not agree with you because you are wrong and I am right.

Not quite as sincerely,

Fred Weasley (It's not pretentious, George. It is good business etiquette.)

[deranged_gofer]

Yes, that's right, aim as low as you can and blame me for getting a mental condition I myself could not help! I wasn't loony! Loads of people, at some point in their lives, think they're the King of France!

Oh, F off you silly twat.

You should agree with me because in the long run you'll look stupid because you're wrong and I am very much right.

Pretentiously yours,

The One Who Knows Better (And Who Mum Loves More)

[deranged_gofer]

I am sure that, had I been the one afflicted, I would have dealt with the situation far better than you. (Yet another reason why my idea is probably the brighter one.)

Don't call me a twat, you ungrateful, immature tit!

You're already looking stupid. If you agree with me, at least you'll appear marginally less stupid.

With livid composure,

Fred Weasley (Who is so much better than his arse of a brother, and is loved more by Mum because of it)