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[xbittersweetx66]

I joined this community because I need to know that I'm not the only person who doesn't understand anything about myself except the fact that I'm never happy anymore. & right after I make this post I'm quitting this community because my friends don't need to know about the dark place I'm in right now

Comments

[_justeverything]

Hey. I hope you'll still get this.

You're not alone. A lot of what you say could be describing me, and I'm sure a lot of the other people here too. I hide how I'm feeling from my friends. I think about death a lot, but I also wouldn't do it becasue I couldn't do that to my family.
I can understand your anxiety about talking to this guy. However, I'd advise you to try it. It sounds like he's a great guy who you can trust, and that's what you need. You don't have to throw yourself in right at the deep end - you could try 'testing the water' as it were. Just try telling him that things haven't been so great etc. You don't have to launch straight into a detailed account of your depression. If that goes well, then you can think about opening up to him more. He's bound to be shocked, but if he's a good friend, as you say he is, then he'll want to be there for you.
Otherwise, you've got here to talk if you want. I know you say you're going to delete this community, and I can undertsand that. I did the same thing. What I did is I created a new lj account (this one), and I access all my communities from that. Just an idea.
Good luck sweetie *hugs* x

[good_goodbye]

It's really nice to know that I'm not the only one. Half the time I don't even understand myself, & it was hard to believe anyone else could feel the same way :/
I definitely am thinking about talking to him. I'm not sure yet. But I'm considering it.
I was totally ready to pour out all my feelings & then forget about it, but once I saw you guys' replies I thought that maybe this could help more than I thought. So I made another account & joined (this is xbittersweetx, by the way)
Thank you!