Seven in the Morning
I woke up really early today. My mom called steve for some reason and woke me up...and I couldnt go back to sleep cuz I just keep thinking about how I'm useless right now. it really btohers me that I don't have a job or anything. I mean...I guess apparently it appear i enjoy this to someone cuz everyone just seems to hate me for it. -sigh- Its too early for this crap. I need to really make a decision. I pretty much have to get rid of everyhting I own an collected over the years ...give it all away, cuz I have to stop this shit. I have to. its killing me on the inside and I can feel it. And it makes me really fucking upset. Its hard to walk around and everyone you knwo look at you and you know what the are thinking..."Piece of shit" and I feel like it too. I DONT WANT TO FUCKING BE LIEK THIS ANYMORE! I need to be a better person somehow...anyway possible. I dont know what the hell im gunan do...its hard to keep busy 24/7 without a job and its not easy getting one apperently...cuz I fuck it up everytime. I NEED TO STOP FUCKING UP! God I just want to fucking scream. Let something out...:( I wish Mia was on...that girl could make me feel better right now. A little boost of confidence is what I need. bye live journal..