Learning To Die With Your Heart Still Beating
There are times that I have never learned my lesson
When I softly and subtly lose control
The british way creeps up on me
My quiet desperation
In truth I can admit
That these days are getting fewer
And my heart is healing its self inflicted open wounds
And when I meet new people
I'm what nikki likes to hear
Nothing but boots and kick-ass
There are; however, more day than not
When your life and it's goings on are
What will call sinister to my motivation
Your happiness is more my degradation
And sweetly my heart churns with antipathy for control
I envision unlikely scenerios
And within minutes feel that sneaking self loathing
And once more force these delusions away
I know, for a fact, that you have gone away
and I, for certain, have tried to set my feet on some other path
The things you are call back to me
Claiming I have lost my way
Your words and deeds, contradictory as they are
Send me speeding down my unknown road
To shake this feeling of fervent feeling
The antonym of your dispassionate friendship
As much as I have said in many years
I have meant in many ways
In events of catastrophic nature
I have been around to help as I might
In my old adversity, we have learned there is nothing you can do
There are days that I forget to never care again
And hours where it tears me apart
But for the most part I say
For the further you are from me
The better I am
And you are getting further everyday
It's not my fault
But it is my benefit
I know your war is not complete
But mine has just begun
When I softly and subtly lose control
The british way creeps up on me
My quiet desperation
In truth I can admit
That these days are getting fewer
And my heart is healing its self inflicted open wounds
And when I meet new people
I'm what nikki likes to hear
Nothing but boots and kick-ass
There are; however, more day than not
When your life and it's goings on are
What will call sinister to my motivation
Your happiness is more my degradation
And sweetly my heart churns with antipathy for control
I envision unlikely scenerios
And within minutes feel that sneaking self loathing
And once more force these delusions away
I know, for a fact, that you have gone away
and I, for certain, have tried to set my feet on some other path
The things you are call back to me
Claiming I have lost my way
Your words and deeds, contradictory as they are
Send me speeding down my unknown road
To shake this feeling of fervent feeling
The antonym of your dispassionate friendship
As much as I have said in many years
I have meant in many ways
In events of catastrophic nature
I have been around to help as I might
In my old adversity, we have learned there is nothing you can do
There are days that I forget to never care again
And hours where it tears me apart
But for the most part I say
For the further you are from me
The better I am
And you are getting further everyday
It's not my fault
But it is my benefit
I know your war is not complete
But mine has just begun