(no subject)
you guys ready for a rocking update...like a real one?
..because in all likelihood, this will be mediocre because i get so bored.
..and i actually dont have any idea what i was talking about the last time i actually wrote, which i dont remember when that was.
ok. so, i have one paid off card, insurance taken care of, phone taken care of, car fixed, rent (sitting in my bank account until we actually pay it), one half of another card paid off, one card..not even started, 0ver 400 in the bank waiting for me, a 900 dollar check waiting for me, and then another 2 weeks after i get to peoria, i start work two days after i move back.
..overall, i think that's a pretty good list of things i have accomplished this summer. also i have a tan, got a haircut, and lost 15 pounds...though the last one you wouldnt be able to tell.
this summer has been both dramatic and boring, in turns. after the move out to barrington i found myself less and less depressed (usually) and less frustrated. the gym is on my way home so that picked up. and i had an extreme failure of a date...which doesnt really bother me.
i'm still fighting my bipolarism, of course. i find myself more cognitively evaluating things, as well as daydreaming and fantasizing, instead of merely obsessing and getting sad and drinking myself retarded...which i have only done a handful of times this summer. drug consumption is low as well, and cigarettes have taken a large hit, in terms of how many i smoke, though i still inhale too many when i drink. i have started chewing more often though, since i can work and dip at the same time.
i find myself day dreaming in turns of either finding a special someone i can be with and falling in love this next school year, and then almost immediately recognizing the disasters and heartbreak that has left me on, begin day dreaming about large amounts of casual sex with many partners and subtly taking my revenge on the emotion love and the feeling of happiness.
..in all honesty, i have nothing to do but think, so i've pretty much covered the whole field of possibility of this next year and my life beyond in the course of my synapses firing. i mean at some point or another i've evaluated the pro's and con's of most of the x-men's powers and who i would most rather be and took that all the way to what would i like to be doing in a year, and then further to imagining myself as a hero pulling people out of a burning car (which i saw today).
for some reason BU hasn't sent me a bill for this upcoming year...so i have to take care of that in my new rush to accomplish and manage recently.
..in summation: life is better, i am better, things are getting done, i'm still not normal, and i'm still not perfectly ok..but for the most part, i haven't given up, but i have stopped caring.
..because in all likelihood, this will be mediocre because i get so bored.
..and i actually dont have any idea what i was talking about the last time i actually wrote, which i dont remember when that was.
ok. so, i have one paid off card, insurance taken care of, phone taken care of, car fixed, rent (sitting in my bank account until we actually pay it), one half of another card paid off, one card..not even started, 0ver 400 in the bank waiting for me, a 900 dollar check waiting for me, and then another 2 weeks after i get to peoria, i start work two days after i move back.
..overall, i think that's a pretty good list of things i have accomplished this summer. also i have a tan, got a haircut, and lost 15 pounds...though the last one you wouldnt be able to tell.
this summer has been both dramatic and boring, in turns. after the move out to barrington i found myself less and less depressed (usually) and less frustrated. the gym is on my way home so that picked up. and i had an extreme failure of a date...which doesnt really bother me.
i'm still fighting my bipolarism, of course. i find myself more cognitively evaluating things, as well as daydreaming and fantasizing, instead of merely obsessing and getting sad and drinking myself retarded...which i have only done a handful of times this summer. drug consumption is low as well, and cigarettes have taken a large hit, in terms of how many i smoke, though i still inhale too many when i drink. i have started chewing more often though, since i can work and dip at the same time.
i find myself day dreaming in turns of either finding a special someone i can be with and falling in love this next school year, and then almost immediately recognizing the disasters and heartbreak that has left me on, begin day dreaming about large amounts of casual sex with many partners and subtly taking my revenge on the emotion love and the feeling of happiness.
..in all honesty, i have nothing to do but think, so i've pretty much covered the whole field of possibility of this next year and my life beyond in the course of my synapses firing. i mean at some point or another i've evaluated the pro's and con's of most of the x-men's powers and who i would most rather be and took that all the way to what would i like to be doing in a year, and then further to imagining myself as a hero pulling people out of a burning car (which i saw today).
for some reason BU hasn't sent me a bill for this upcoming year...so i have to take care of that in my new rush to accomplish and manage recently.
..in summation: life is better, i am better, things are getting done, i'm still not normal, and i'm still not perfectly ok..but for the most part, i haven't given up, but i have stopped caring.