(no subject)
I think by far the biggest fear i have i will admit when me and jeni find the time to talk. she says we will be able too tommorow. Im scared we will and then ill have no more time to talk because ofh er busy schedule thats coming up. I feel that maybe ill remmeber something the next day and then i would've blown my window to talk to her.
In anycase talking to cary today got me to accept a fact which is true in plain black and white.
If she's gonna leave me she's gonna end up leaving me no matter what.
If we are gonna fight all over its goign to happen no matter what.
If nothing is gonna change, its gonna happen no matter what.
but...
If our relationship is gonna be amazing its gonna happen with alot of hard work, comitment and even times were we will hate each other to the core but at the end of the day we will realize we were wrong n admit our deepest of problems to each other and seek each other for anything we need help or guidance with.
Now if cary's logic is true or not i do not know. I don't say anything because hey im not the one with a family, a loving husband, and a support system in place. The only real support system ive had the past few months is my own 2 hands while i try to claw myself out of a hole and people just throw more dirt on me.
Ive always lived my life as a loner, a fighter, the angry neighboor whom u wonder why he's so angry. Its something ive come to accept and its something thats totally contradicting and i learned with jeni.
One thing everyone should be more than thankful for is the fact she has taught me patience, what it is to have a gentle touch, what it means to be caring. She pretty much opened my eyes to the "betteR" half of me i guess u could say. but at times i have my bad side ressurface and i face momments were i doubt myself and i drag myself down and those are the momments i turn to her for guidance as my best friend, my girlfriend, my fiance, and my soulmate. I look to her because i know my heart will listen to her and override my mind.
I have so many things to say and so much weight to take off me now thanks to talking to cary about how my life is going and i can't wait to talk to jeni about it. I want her to be the first person i tell and i want her to help me and offer me her guidance.
I know i sound like a preaching monk or a psycho gone postal in this entry but its something i need if i plan to move foward. God i wish we could've talked today.
Oh well.
BTW thank you cary for the lesson in relationships and how to keep them lasting forever it was nice to know even i can learn new things every now and then. For once i was getting sick of having answers to everything but foronce it felt nice being given answers too.
As for your question...
I think if jeni gave it 100% her all, we'd come out of this mess easily and even stronger. And i know u told me we would, but u know me... -i always look for the bad and push aside the good. she's a great lil girl. Id give my soul away if it enssured she'd be happy n problem free but then again things arent that easy i know.
In a way im glad i have someone as you to fill me in on actual LASTING relationships if what u say is true then looks like we really are gonna have our dreams come true after all we just really need to work on it and open up.
thank you.
now yes i know im hogging ur computer ill get off. <3
ROFL!
In anycase talking to cary today got me to accept a fact which is true in plain black and white.
If she's gonna leave me she's gonna end up leaving me no matter what.
If we are gonna fight all over its goign to happen no matter what.
If nothing is gonna change, its gonna happen no matter what.
but...
If our relationship is gonna be amazing its gonna happen with alot of hard work, comitment and even times were we will hate each other to the core but at the end of the day we will realize we were wrong n admit our deepest of problems to each other and seek each other for anything we need help or guidance with.
Now if cary's logic is true or not i do not know. I don't say anything because hey im not the one with a family, a loving husband, and a support system in place. The only real support system ive had the past few months is my own 2 hands while i try to claw myself out of a hole and people just throw more dirt on me.
Ive always lived my life as a loner, a fighter, the angry neighboor whom u wonder why he's so angry. Its something ive come to accept and its something thats totally contradicting and i learned with jeni.
One thing everyone should be more than thankful for is the fact she has taught me patience, what it is to have a gentle touch, what it means to be caring. She pretty much opened my eyes to the "betteR" half of me i guess u could say. but at times i have my bad side ressurface and i face momments were i doubt myself and i drag myself down and those are the momments i turn to her for guidance as my best friend, my girlfriend, my fiance, and my soulmate. I look to her because i know my heart will listen to her and override my mind.
I have so many things to say and so much weight to take off me now thanks to talking to cary about how my life is going and i can't wait to talk to jeni about it. I want her to be the first person i tell and i want her to help me and offer me her guidance.
I know i sound like a preaching monk or a psycho gone postal in this entry but its something i need if i plan to move foward. God i wish we could've talked today.
Oh well.
BTW thank you cary for the lesson in relationships and how to keep them lasting forever it was nice to know even i can learn new things every now and then. For once i was getting sick of having answers to everything but foronce it felt nice being given answers too.
As for your question...
I think if jeni gave it 100% her all, we'd come out of this mess easily and even stronger. And i know u told me we would, but u know me... -i always look for the bad and push aside the good. she's a great lil girl. Id give my soul away if it enssured she'd be happy n problem free but then again things arent that easy i know.
In a way im glad i have someone as you to fill me in on actual LASTING relationships if what u say is true then looks like we really are gonna have our dreams come true after all we just really need to work on it and open up.
thank you.
now yes i know im hogging ur computer ill get off. <3
ROFL!