FIC: Family Pack 2/? fandom: BtVS/AtS (Angel/Spike/Xander/Wesley, Nc-17)
Masterpost, disclaimer/warnings
Previous chapters ch 1
In a panic Wesley banged on the door of Angel’s suite then nervously unlocked it when Angel didn’t answer. Only to be startled to find Angel in game face just standing there in the middle of the room staring up at the ceiling; blood tears trailing down his face. "Angel, are you alright?"
For a moment Angel didn’t move then in a burst he started to frantically search the book shelves, his words almost guttural as he spoke. "We have to get to Sunnydale, now."
Startled by Angel’s actions, Wesley stared, his own panic rising when he caught Angel’s we, and worriedly asked, "What happened?"
"I'll explain on the way. We need to get the others, all of them: Fred, Gunn, Cordelia, and Lorne."
"Angel w-what?"
"Not now Wes, trust me, please?"
Whatever was happening Angel didn’t spare Wesley any further thought as he continue tearing shelves apart. Obviously looking for certain books, Angel flipped through pages, scanning passages before either tossing the book aside or clutching it to his side before he continued on.
Jerkily Wesley nodded though Angel was too preoccupied to see it, and answered, "Yes, of course." as he left quickly to gather the others.
*~*~*~
Angel forcibly tried to focus; mentally making a list of each book he knew or suspected they’d need. His fear increased as he questioned each choice, running thoughts of what would happen if he didn’t make it in time. Desperate to not second guess or think about his childer Drusilla and Spike, Angel concentrate on the task ahead - of Cain.
If Cain was actually the one behind this he was purposely creating a chain reaction one that none of them would be able to control, leaving Angel with no alternatives - only to move forward and play against the odds as he raced against time.
Once Angel found the last book, he clutched it with the others and ran down the stairs.
At the lobby, he reached out for the phone, and dialed the memorized number. Hearing Giles’ affable hello, Angel dismissed a cordial reply. "Giles, I don't have time to explain, but I'm on my way there. You have to find Spike then tie him up or even better get chains… anything to secure him in place to keep him there. Do whatever you have to do, I don't care; just don’t let him out or leave him alone under any circumstances. Do you understand?”
Angel barely gave Giles time to digest what he said before he continued. “We'll be there in a couple of hours, and Giles make sure Buffy and everyone else is there,” for a moment Angel staggered under the weight of pain as he remembered what was left of Dru’s body hung swaying under the beam. Remembered her whispered warning about Cain; Angel swallowed and tried to relay the same urgency to Giles. Forcibly Angel choked out, Everyone Giles, its life and death important.
Under a different situation Angel would have smiled and appreciated at Giles’ swift perceptiveness as he fired off question after question putting together pieces Angel barely hinted at. Already exhausted Angel answered a fierce, “No, he's not. He won't be a danger to anyone, except to himself. I'll explain it when we get there. We'll be there as soon as possible." Angel didn’t bother waiting for Giles to reply instead he just hung up, his mind racing. How the hell was he going to explain? Angel was still trying to wrap his mind around the impossible. Although it didn’t change what was happening. An obscure prophecy that was once fore told, one he never gave credence to, now …
Adding everything from the vision, Dru’s words, her body drained as it was - Cain. It all had to be connected to the prophecy.
Angel knew his window of time was closing. His heart weighted heavily knowing he wasn’t going to be able to prevent or save Dru’s death, to stop his Drusilla from being the catalyst for the events of carnage that would take place. For everything he couldn’t stop Angel had to do everything he could to try and save Spike, and the others. Though Angel suspected Xander would rather die once he was given the choice, Angel only hoped that Buffy wouldn't fight him like he knew Xander was going to. Dru had mentioned Red, who he suspected was Willow would be capable of seeing the truth. He offer a prayer that it was true, that Willow might convince both Xander and Buffy in order to help the others - before it was too late.
Heading out the hotel, Angel turned in time to see Wes, with Fred and Cordy trailing behind him. "Gunn, Lorne?"
"I called. We can pick them up on the way." Wes replied, as he opened the car door.
Angel nodded, as he got behind the wheel and started the car. "Alright, let's go then."
Angel stayed focused as he cut in and out of traffic, ignoring everyone including Cordy harping him with questions and snarky comments. Angel didn’t bother to waste any time trying to explain anything, he could do that once he they got to Sunnydale.
Once they picked up Gunn and then Lorne, Angel tuned them out and focused all of his efforts in a race against time - to get Sunnydale to save Spike!
*~*~*~
By the time they reached the on ramp to the freeway, silence descended. Even Cordelia fell silent. The grim seriousness of the situation was obvious even to Cordelia and Lorne who usually filled the voids with nervous chatter that eventually trailed off leaving everyone to their own thoughts.
After Wesley got in the car, he grabbed a few of the books Angel brought with them. None were titles or in demonic languages he was familiar with - leaving Wesley in the dark to wonder what the hell was really going on. It didn’t help that he was haunted by the image of Angel standing there when he burst through the door.
Distractingly Wesley leaned forward glancing at his companions seated next to him around then at Gunn. If the situation hadn’t been as grim as it was, Wesley might have broken the tension by laughing at Gunn’s antics. Gunn was squished up against the door on one side and Cordelia pressed against his other side, almost in Gunn’s lap. Gunn shimmed and squirmed side to side in his seat like a scared teenager. Even under the stress of the moment, Wes felt the tangible - emanating heat Gunn was desperate to redirect away from Cordelia. His avoidance was ridiculous more so because Cordelia appeared oblivious to Gunn’s attraction, or Fred’s for that matter. Fred who was studiously quiet sat squished, possibly purposely plastered against Cordelia actually leaving him more than an inch of room.
No one was more shocked than Wesley when Angel abruptly pulled over, tires squealing against the unexpected stop an hour later and flatly announced. "Gunn I need you to drive."
Wesley watched as Gunn shifted looking back and forth between him and Angel, as if he had an answer. He didn’t. He was just as baffled as everyone one else that Angel would willingly allow anyone but himself to drive his precious car. Gunn’s confusion and panic surfaced as he demanded, "Me? Fuck, Angel, what the hell is going on?"
Suddenly Angel doubled over in pain, and went into game face, tersely answering, "Don’t argue, I just need you to get us there, fast!"
Even as Angel opened his door and nearly fell out, Angel's cell phone rang. Gunn opened his door, and rushed to Angel’s side as he helped him into the backseat. By the third ring Gunn rummaged through Angel’s pocket throwing the cell at him.
Wesley easily caught it, and threw it open automatically answering. "Hello?”
Sitting back he heard Giles’ frantic voice nearly shouting over the chaotic noise, of voices in the background. Forcibly he focused on Giles’ voice. “Really, Angel is as well. We should be there soon as fast as Angel was driving, I’d say less than two hours.” Giles’ briskly asked if Angel had said anything, of what was happening. Slowly Wesley shook his head, before voicing his response. “No, he hasn't said.” Wesley heard a chilling wail then Buffy’s frantic, Giles that sent shivers of fear down his spine. Giles hastily added, get here. Wesley wasn’t even sure Giles heard his answered; “Yes, right away.” When Wesley heard as another shriek from the background before the connection was gone.
Wesley stared despondently at the phone then glanced at Angel’s hunched over form in Cordelia’s lap, her hands moving in circles trying to sooth whatever pain their Boss was in.
Gunn’s loud impatient, “Okay, what's the up?” Startled, Wesley glanced up at Gunn’s demand meeting his eyes through the rearview mirror. Unfazed Gunn turned the key’s ignition as he started the car and was back on the road driving even faster than Angel if it was possible.
Gunn waited, his eyes going back to the road as he prompted, "Wesley?” then a bit harsher, “English?"
"Oh, yes, that was Mr. Giles. It seems that Spike… is also in excruciating pain, similar to Angel here."
Angel moved as if he was wounded, through panted breathes he offered more. “It's going to get worse, especially for Spike. I'm doing my best to control some of it. Helping her block some of it out, but she's too weak… soon I won't be able to block it anymore."
"Blocking what, and who's she." Gunn demanded.
"Drusilla, I’m doing my best - blocking her pain." Angel winced as he doubled over again.
Wesley’s mind raced as he tried to piece everything together. Everything didn’t fit, but there was something…. He stared at Cordelia’s hands as she continued to caress Angel’s back. Like everyone else she was worried for their boss. Impatience for answers, she started to summarize her thoughts as she flippantly asked, "So what if the wacky insane is in pain. How does it affect you or even Spike for that matter?"
Suddenly Wesley understood, he had thought it was only a myth. "Good Lord Angel she's in her final death."
It was obvious Angel was wracked with pain, but his muttered, "Yes" was unmistakable.
Cordelia didn’t make the same jumps that he did, probably had never heard of the myths - why would she. Even among watchers very few had heard or were interested in such obscure vampire legends. "Final? But she's already dead, and even if she's dust why would you or Spike be in pain from it?"
“Angel is her Sire, and Spike he's…." Wesley asked.
"More." Angel hissed still crippled in pain.
Wesley gasped, "They're mated? It's true then?" Wesley quickly worked out the calculations in his head.
Angel jerked his head, yes.
"Oh my, does Mr. Giles know?"
"No."
"Angel he has to know… Where's that phone." Wesley grabbled between his legs where he accidently dropped the cell. Gripping it in his fist Wesley flipped it open, scrolling through recent calls until he saw Giles name and hit dial. It rang a few times before it was picked up. Wesley didn’t recognize the voice, but it obviously wasn’t Giles, “Put Giles on now!” A moment later he heard, Giles being called. His stomach twisted as he heard the sharp wails again - this time realizing they were Spike’s. Giles’ distracted, bark of what? pulled Wesley back to the urgency of the situation. “Rupert, Wesley here. It's Drusilla; she's in her final death! They're mated Rupert, Spike and Drusilla. Yes, I’m assuming it's true, I don't know. Yes, but we'll be there soon.” There was nothing else he could do, hearing Giles’ helpless heavy sigh before he hung up, said it for him.
Cordelia demanded, "Ok, I really am beginning to hate all this in-the-know speak especially when I'm not in-the-know, so start talking Wesley. What's true?"
Wesley tried to ignore Cordelia's question, but knew it would be easier to avoid a rattlesnake. "Yes, well, it would appear that when a vampire is in their final death that if they are connected or marked then the others - their kin will know. They would sense their death. The more connected; the more they feel through that connection. As Angel’s childer, Drusilla is connected because he is her Sire, as well as being Spike's Sire."
"Wait… “Cordelia shook her head obviously confused, “how come that didn't happen with Darla? She was Angel’s Sire. I don't remember this kind of thing happening? I distinctly would have remembered that."
Angel tried to pull himself up, but stopped half way, instead just turned so he could be heard. Swallowing Angel nodded, wincing he answered, “You're right it doesn’t happen unless you’re embraced. I never loved or wanted to embrace with Darla. To embrace is a gift of love; it has to be given freely something that can't be forced.” The car was silent only Angel’s heavy heaves could be heard, as physic spasms ripped through his body. Once he regained enough composure Angel continued, “Siring me, I was only an afterthought. A profile Darla thought would please the Master. A deadbeat, pissed at my father, typically defiant too drunk and horny to know better when I said yes to Darla’s charms.”
A pitiful hallow laugh followed, “Afterward, Angelus’ birth when he - I no longer needed Darla or the Master, I had a choice, and never wanted, considered, or desired to embrace with either of ‘em.”
Abruptly Angel paused coughing suffering through another seizure. Then Angel’s voice softened with fondness. Shocked by Angel’s tone, he and Cordelia shared a surprised looked. The timber of Angel’s voice was one Wesley had only heard whenever Angel talked reflectively about Buffy in that first year. “My first childe, like Drusilla, Angelus courted him before taking Penn’s death. It wasn’t just for Darla’s entertainment. We - I had an interest, designs to embrace with Penn. He was beautiful, my first childe, but once Penn was turned he had more interested in politics and earning points with Darla and the Master. Later with Drusilla, she had power; the gift of sight and Darla wanted it, to control Dru’s gift and that power for the Master. I had played my role; I tortured and drove Drusilla insane. Creating another childe as Darla ordered, but in a short period of time it was clear Dru truly was mine. Where Penn pushed to be independent from me, Drusilla was happy to be my beautiful childe of the night. After I turned her we willingly embraced. Darla saw it as a rejection and hated me for it, but let it go when she couldn't do anything about it, and as long as I continued to please the Master - jump at her commands ultimately nothing else mattered to her. I couldn't be there or care for Drusilla, not as she needed. Not while Darla forced me to attend to the Master whims, so when Drusilla brought me Will, our fate was….” Angel screamed out as he doubled over again.
This time, his body didn’t stop quivering. In unison Cordelia and Fred spoke, "Step on it Gunn.”
*~*~*
Stunned Wesley sat quietly as he listened to Angel’s account of his first beginnings before Angel doubled over in pain. A stab of pain that seemed to mirror what was in Wesley’s own heart. Suddenly tethering too close to the edge of an abyss, Wesley impulsively turned toward the window knowing that if he didn’t, the ridge of control he usually held in rein might crumble as emotions of anger, jealousy, and loss sliced through him.
Inwardly Wesley didn’t bother to stop the disparaging tone as he questioned himself, when did he become so attached? Then mocked that he knew from the beginning that he was attracted to Angel, how, could he not. Only someone bloody blind would not want the man-and though he wore glasses Wesley Wyndam-Pryce was not blind.
He couldn’t deny that right from the beginning he knew of Angel-Angelus’ history knew there could be no us. Still he secretly yearned and fantasized. Realistically knew there could only be friendship, that a curse was in place, what had anchored Angel’s soul.
Fortuitously Wesley got to know the man, vampire or not, Angel was more than what the scrolls the council held sacred and had depicted Angel to be. By then it was too late, his heart had melted. Angel willingly offered a depth of strength and acceptance where his guidance encouraged Wesley to grow in ways he was never allowed, or had ventured before.
With strength, Wesley started to foolishly hope. That was when he started to research the curse. It began small, fueled by curiosity and late nights just to avoid the dreams, his loneliness. He wasn't able to find anything to change the curse, but he was able to recognize an adaption when the curse started to change during their trip to Pylea.
When Angel was forced to see and confront his demon and his demon Angelus was forced to see and confront Angel's soul. They had met, battled. Fighting what could not be won, that internally they were as conjoined twins, two halves of one coin merged as one. Recognizing and finally accepting that neither one would live apart from the other. In that acceptance, the soul and demon, Angel and Angelus respectively would share the host body that neither ever had to be a prisoner of the other - forcing the curse into a stalemate. Ironic really after all their years, and the long road of redemption it all came down to a meeting, and accepting of the minds after all.
Wesley could never thank or curse his Father for the damnable lessons of a gentlemen's code of honor and its boundaries. Once he discovered the truth, had suspected the changes about the curse, it was that code that held Wesley in check before he could make an arse over Angel. At the time Wesley thought he’d have a little time once they returned from Pylea. Then finding Willow, receiving the news about Buffy's death had put everything - his desires on hold.
After he told Angel of his suspicions, Angel left needing time to grieve. When Angel returned a month later, Wesley recognized it was still too soon that Angel didn’t need to have some fool human trying to jump his bones.
Now to discover this that Angel was already embraced, had embraced with Drusilla right after he created her. Wesley couldn’t stop himself and suspected that Angel had to of also embraced with Spike. Otherwise he didn’t think Angel would be capable of blocking any of Drusilla’s final death throes from Spike. Wesley knows he shouldn’t care even if Angel did embrace with his youngest childe, but just thinking of Spike, aka William the Bloody and Angel together twisted something dark and painful within him. It also poked holes at Wesley’s fantasy - a deeper understanding, a finality of knowing that Angel will never be his. Buffy he could understand, but Spike, that poncy bleach blond grated on his nerves. Wesley wished he could truly hate Spike, but all Wesley could muster was feelings of jealousy.
He was envious that William was going to be able to hold Angel. That Angel was running to save him, his embraced childe.
It pointedly showcased how pathetic he was, that Wesley wanted to scream. He cared, cared for Angel, more than he wanted to admit. In the end, Angel will have Spike, and ultimately the truth was he really did want Angel to be happy. Staring out the window, he tried to convince himself that maybe one day he'll be able to find some peace in all this, but with burning certainty, Wesley knew that it wouldn't be today.
TBC...
next chapter
Previous chapters ch 1
In a panic Wesley banged on the door of Angel’s suite then nervously unlocked it when Angel didn’t answer. Only to be startled to find Angel in game face just standing there in the middle of the room staring up at the ceiling; blood tears trailing down his face. "Angel, are you alright?"
For a moment Angel didn’t move then in a burst he started to frantically search the book shelves, his words almost guttural as he spoke. "We have to get to Sunnydale, now."
Startled by Angel’s actions, Wesley stared, his own panic rising when he caught Angel’s we, and worriedly asked, "What happened?"
"I'll explain on the way. We need to get the others, all of them: Fred, Gunn, Cordelia, and Lorne."
"Angel w-what?"
"Not now Wes, trust me, please?"
Whatever was happening Angel didn’t spare Wesley any further thought as he continue tearing shelves apart. Obviously looking for certain books, Angel flipped through pages, scanning passages before either tossing the book aside or clutching it to his side before he continued on.
Jerkily Wesley nodded though Angel was too preoccupied to see it, and answered, "Yes, of course." as he left quickly to gather the others.
*~*~*~
Angel forcibly tried to focus; mentally making a list of each book he knew or suspected they’d need. His fear increased as he questioned each choice, running thoughts of what would happen if he didn’t make it in time. Desperate to not second guess or think about his childer Drusilla and Spike, Angel concentrate on the task ahead - of Cain.
If Cain was actually the one behind this he was purposely creating a chain reaction one that none of them would be able to control, leaving Angel with no alternatives - only to move forward and play against the odds as he raced against time.
Once Angel found the last book, he clutched it with the others and ran down the stairs.
At the lobby, he reached out for the phone, and dialed the memorized number. Hearing Giles’ affable hello, Angel dismissed a cordial reply. "Giles, I don't have time to explain, but I'm on my way there. You have to find Spike then tie him up or even better get chains… anything to secure him in place to keep him there. Do whatever you have to do, I don't care; just don’t let him out or leave him alone under any circumstances. Do you understand?”
Angel barely gave Giles time to digest what he said before he continued. “We'll be there in a couple of hours, and Giles make sure Buffy and everyone else is there,” for a moment Angel staggered under the weight of pain as he remembered what was left of Dru’s body hung swaying under the beam. Remembered her whispered warning about Cain; Angel swallowed and tried to relay the same urgency to Giles. Forcibly Angel choked out, Everyone Giles, its life and death important.
Under a different situation Angel would have smiled and appreciated at Giles’ swift perceptiveness as he fired off question after question putting together pieces Angel barely hinted at. Already exhausted Angel answered a fierce, “No, he's not. He won't be a danger to anyone, except to himself. I'll explain it when we get there. We'll be there as soon as possible." Angel didn’t bother waiting for Giles to reply instead he just hung up, his mind racing. How the hell was he going to explain? Angel was still trying to wrap his mind around the impossible. Although it didn’t change what was happening. An obscure prophecy that was once fore told, one he never gave credence to, now …
Adding everything from the vision, Dru’s words, her body drained as it was - Cain. It all had to be connected to the prophecy.
Angel knew his window of time was closing. His heart weighted heavily knowing he wasn’t going to be able to prevent or save Dru’s death, to stop his Drusilla from being the catalyst for the events of carnage that would take place. For everything he couldn’t stop Angel had to do everything he could to try and save Spike, and the others. Though Angel suspected Xander would rather die once he was given the choice, Angel only hoped that Buffy wouldn't fight him like he knew Xander was going to. Dru had mentioned Red, who he suspected was Willow would be capable of seeing the truth. He offer a prayer that it was true, that Willow might convince both Xander and Buffy in order to help the others - before it was too late.
Heading out the hotel, Angel turned in time to see Wes, with Fred and Cordy trailing behind him. "Gunn, Lorne?"
"I called. We can pick them up on the way." Wes replied, as he opened the car door.
Angel nodded, as he got behind the wheel and started the car. "Alright, let's go then."
Angel stayed focused as he cut in and out of traffic, ignoring everyone including Cordy harping him with questions and snarky comments. Angel didn’t bother to waste any time trying to explain anything, he could do that once he they got to Sunnydale.
Once they picked up Gunn and then Lorne, Angel tuned them out and focused all of his efforts in a race against time - to get Sunnydale to save Spike!
*~*~*~
By the time they reached the on ramp to the freeway, silence descended. Even Cordelia fell silent. The grim seriousness of the situation was obvious even to Cordelia and Lorne who usually filled the voids with nervous chatter that eventually trailed off leaving everyone to their own thoughts.
After Wesley got in the car, he grabbed a few of the books Angel brought with them. None were titles or in demonic languages he was familiar with - leaving Wesley in the dark to wonder what the hell was really going on. It didn’t help that he was haunted by the image of Angel standing there when he burst through the door.
Distractingly Wesley leaned forward glancing at his companions seated next to him around then at Gunn. If the situation hadn’t been as grim as it was, Wesley might have broken the tension by laughing at Gunn’s antics. Gunn was squished up against the door on one side and Cordelia pressed against his other side, almost in Gunn’s lap. Gunn shimmed and squirmed side to side in his seat like a scared teenager. Even under the stress of the moment, Wes felt the tangible - emanating heat Gunn was desperate to redirect away from Cordelia. His avoidance was ridiculous more so because Cordelia appeared oblivious to Gunn’s attraction, or Fred’s for that matter. Fred who was studiously quiet sat squished, possibly purposely plastered against Cordelia actually leaving him more than an inch of room.
No one was more shocked than Wesley when Angel abruptly pulled over, tires squealing against the unexpected stop an hour later and flatly announced. "Gunn I need you to drive."
Wesley watched as Gunn shifted looking back and forth between him and Angel, as if he had an answer. He didn’t. He was just as baffled as everyone one else that Angel would willingly allow anyone but himself to drive his precious car. Gunn’s confusion and panic surfaced as he demanded, "Me? Fuck, Angel, what the hell is going on?"
Suddenly Angel doubled over in pain, and went into game face, tersely answering, "Don’t argue, I just need you to get us there, fast!"
Even as Angel opened his door and nearly fell out, Angel's cell phone rang. Gunn opened his door, and rushed to Angel’s side as he helped him into the backseat. By the third ring Gunn rummaged through Angel’s pocket throwing the cell at him.
Wesley easily caught it, and threw it open automatically answering. "Hello?”
Sitting back he heard Giles’ frantic voice nearly shouting over the chaotic noise, of voices in the background. Forcibly he focused on Giles’ voice. “Really, Angel is as well. We should be there soon as fast as Angel was driving, I’d say less than two hours.” Giles’ briskly asked if Angel had said anything, of what was happening. Slowly Wesley shook his head, before voicing his response. “No, he hasn't said.” Wesley heard a chilling wail then Buffy’s frantic, Giles that sent shivers of fear down his spine. Giles hastily added, get here. Wesley wasn’t even sure Giles heard his answered; “Yes, right away.” When Wesley heard as another shriek from the background before the connection was gone.
Wesley stared despondently at the phone then glanced at Angel’s hunched over form in Cordelia’s lap, her hands moving in circles trying to sooth whatever pain their Boss was in.
Gunn’s loud impatient, “Okay, what's the up?” Startled, Wesley glanced up at Gunn’s demand meeting his eyes through the rearview mirror. Unfazed Gunn turned the key’s ignition as he started the car and was back on the road driving even faster than Angel if it was possible.
Gunn waited, his eyes going back to the road as he prompted, "Wesley?” then a bit harsher, “English?"
"Oh, yes, that was Mr. Giles. It seems that Spike… is also in excruciating pain, similar to Angel here."
Angel moved as if he was wounded, through panted breathes he offered more. “It's going to get worse, especially for Spike. I'm doing my best to control some of it. Helping her block some of it out, but she's too weak… soon I won't be able to block it anymore."
"Blocking what, and who's she." Gunn demanded.
"Drusilla, I’m doing my best - blocking her pain." Angel winced as he doubled over again.
Wesley’s mind raced as he tried to piece everything together. Everything didn’t fit, but there was something…. He stared at Cordelia’s hands as she continued to caress Angel’s back. Like everyone else she was worried for their boss. Impatience for answers, she started to summarize her thoughts as she flippantly asked, "So what if the wacky insane is in pain. How does it affect you or even Spike for that matter?"
Suddenly Wesley understood, he had thought it was only a myth. "Good Lord Angel she's in her final death."
It was obvious Angel was wracked with pain, but his muttered, "Yes" was unmistakable.
Cordelia didn’t make the same jumps that he did, probably had never heard of the myths - why would she. Even among watchers very few had heard or were interested in such obscure vampire legends. "Final? But she's already dead, and even if she's dust why would you or Spike be in pain from it?"
“Angel is her Sire, and Spike he's…." Wesley asked.
"More." Angel hissed still crippled in pain.
Wesley gasped, "They're mated? It's true then?" Wesley quickly worked out the calculations in his head.
Angel jerked his head, yes.
"Oh my, does Mr. Giles know?"
"No."
"Angel he has to know… Where's that phone." Wesley grabbled between his legs where he accidently dropped the cell. Gripping it in his fist Wesley flipped it open, scrolling through recent calls until he saw Giles name and hit dial. It rang a few times before it was picked up. Wesley didn’t recognize the voice, but it obviously wasn’t Giles, “Put Giles on now!” A moment later he heard, Giles being called. His stomach twisted as he heard the sharp wails again - this time realizing they were Spike’s. Giles’ distracted, bark of what? pulled Wesley back to the urgency of the situation. “Rupert, Wesley here. It's Drusilla; she's in her final death! They're mated Rupert, Spike and Drusilla. Yes, I’m assuming it's true, I don't know. Yes, but we'll be there soon.” There was nothing else he could do, hearing Giles’ helpless heavy sigh before he hung up, said it for him.
Cordelia demanded, "Ok, I really am beginning to hate all this in-the-know speak especially when I'm not in-the-know, so start talking Wesley. What's true?"
Wesley tried to ignore Cordelia's question, but knew it would be easier to avoid a rattlesnake. "Yes, well, it would appear that when a vampire is in their final death that if they are connected or marked then the others - their kin will know. They would sense their death. The more connected; the more they feel through that connection. As Angel’s childer, Drusilla is connected because he is her Sire, as well as being Spike's Sire."
"Wait… “Cordelia shook her head obviously confused, “how come that didn't happen with Darla? She was Angel’s Sire. I don't remember this kind of thing happening? I distinctly would have remembered that."
Angel tried to pull himself up, but stopped half way, instead just turned so he could be heard. Swallowing Angel nodded, wincing he answered, “You're right it doesn’t happen unless you’re embraced. I never loved or wanted to embrace with Darla. To embrace is a gift of love; it has to be given freely something that can't be forced.” The car was silent only Angel’s heavy heaves could be heard, as physic spasms ripped through his body. Once he regained enough composure Angel continued, “Siring me, I was only an afterthought. A profile Darla thought would please the Master. A deadbeat, pissed at my father, typically defiant too drunk and horny to know better when I said yes to Darla’s charms.”
A pitiful hallow laugh followed, “Afterward, Angelus’ birth when he - I no longer needed Darla or the Master, I had a choice, and never wanted, considered, or desired to embrace with either of ‘em.”
Abruptly Angel paused coughing suffering through another seizure. Then Angel’s voice softened with fondness. Shocked by Angel’s tone, he and Cordelia shared a surprised looked. The timber of Angel’s voice was one Wesley had only heard whenever Angel talked reflectively about Buffy in that first year. “My first childe, like Drusilla, Angelus courted him before taking Penn’s death. It wasn’t just for Darla’s entertainment. We - I had an interest, designs to embrace with Penn. He was beautiful, my first childe, but once Penn was turned he had more interested in politics and earning points with Darla and the Master. Later with Drusilla, she had power; the gift of sight and Darla wanted it, to control Dru’s gift and that power for the Master. I had played my role; I tortured and drove Drusilla insane. Creating another childe as Darla ordered, but in a short period of time it was clear Dru truly was mine. Where Penn pushed to be independent from me, Drusilla was happy to be my beautiful childe of the night. After I turned her we willingly embraced. Darla saw it as a rejection and hated me for it, but let it go when she couldn't do anything about it, and as long as I continued to please the Master - jump at her commands ultimately nothing else mattered to her. I couldn't be there or care for Drusilla, not as she needed. Not while Darla forced me to attend to the Master whims, so when Drusilla brought me Will, our fate was….” Angel screamed out as he doubled over again.
This time, his body didn’t stop quivering. In unison Cordelia and Fred spoke, "Step on it Gunn.”
*~*~*
Stunned Wesley sat quietly as he listened to Angel’s account of his first beginnings before Angel doubled over in pain. A stab of pain that seemed to mirror what was in Wesley’s own heart. Suddenly tethering too close to the edge of an abyss, Wesley impulsively turned toward the window knowing that if he didn’t, the ridge of control he usually held in rein might crumble as emotions of anger, jealousy, and loss sliced through him.
Inwardly Wesley didn’t bother to stop the disparaging tone as he questioned himself, when did he become so attached? Then mocked that he knew from the beginning that he was attracted to Angel, how, could he not. Only someone bloody blind would not want the man-and though he wore glasses Wesley Wyndam-Pryce was not blind.
He couldn’t deny that right from the beginning he knew of Angel-Angelus’ history knew there could be no us. Still he secretly yearned and fantasized. Realistically knew there could only be friendship, that a curse was in place, what had anchored Angel’s soul.
Fortuitously Wesley got to know the man, vampire or not, Angel was more than what the scrolls the council held sacred and had depicted Angel to be. By then it was too late, his heart had melted. Angel willingly offered a depth of strength and acceptance where his guidance encouraged Wesley to grow in ways he was never allowed, or had ventured before.
With strength, Wesley started to foolishly hope. That was when he started to research the curse. It began small, fueled by curiosity and late nights just to avoid the dreams, his loneliness. He wasn't able to find anything to change the curse, but he was able to recognize an adaption when the curse started to change during their trip to Pylea.
When Angel was forced to see and confront his demon and his demon Angelus was forced to see and confront Angel's soul. They had met, battled. Fighting what could not be won, that internally they were as conjoined twins, two halves of one coin merged as one. Recognizing and finally accepting that neither one would live apart from the other. In that acceptance, the soul and demon, Angel and Angelus respectively would share the host body that neither ever had to be a prisoner of the other - forcing the curse into a stalemate. Ironic really after all their years, and the long road of redemption it all came down to a meeting, and accepting of the minds after all.
Wesley could never thank or curse his Father for the damnable lessons of a gentlemen's code of honor and its boundaries. Once he discovered the truth, had suspected the changes about the curse, it was that code that held Wesley in check before he could make an arse over Angel. At the time Wesley thought he’d have a little time once they returned from Pylea. Then finding Willow, receiving the news about Buffy's death had put everything - his desires on hold.
After he told Angel of his suspicions, Angel left needing time to grieve. When Angel returned a month later, Wesley recognized it was still too soon that Angel didn’t need to have some fool human trying to jump his bones.
Now to discover this that Angel was already embraced, had embraced with Drusilla right after he created her. Wesley couldn’t stop himself and suspected that Angel had to of also embraced with Spike. Otherwise he didn’t think Angel would be capable of blocking any of Drusilla’s final death throes from Spike. Wesley knows he shouldn’t care even if Angel did embrace with his youngest childe, but just thinking of Spike, aka William the Bloody and Angel together twisted something dark and painful within him. It also poked holes at Wesley’s fantasy - a deeper understanding, a finality of knowing that Angel will never be his. Buffy he could understand, but Spike, that poncy bleach blond grated on his nerves. Wesley wished he could truly hate Spike, but all Wesley could muster was feelings of jealousy.
He was envious that William was going to be able to hold Angel. That Angel was running to save him, his embraced childe.
It pointedly showcased how pathetic he was, that Wesley wanted to scream. He cared, cared for Angel, more than he wanted to admit. In the end, Angel will have Spike, and ultimately the truth was he really did want Angel to be happy. Staring out the window, he tried to convince himself that maybe one day he'll be able to find some peace in all this, but with burning certainty, Wesley knew that it wouldn't be today.
TBC...
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