i am 20 years old today
a lot has changed in a year for me. 365 days. thats a long time. ive had my heart touched and tormented, ive been distracted and determined, ive come close to my goals and not really done anything. i literally feel like ive gone from one end of the pool, with my feet on hard ground, to the opposite end, where its wide open and empty and alone, and i am just kind of treading water, not knowing where ill float off to. at this point, i just have to get caught up in the currents and get swept away with whatever happens. i cant control what i do, or where i end up. i can only control how i do it, and how i feel. god, i hate talking in metaphors, but im good at it...
anyways, i am lovesick. because i am just looking for distractions right now, instead of staying focused through finals week. instead im looking around at all the pretty girls. i need to stop. but i cant help it, i guess i have a new thing for really smart girls with short blonde hair. sigh.
i thought i brushed off the cobwebs in bellingham by getting rejected, but i guess not. today i totally couldve sat next to her and just been chill and relaxed, but i didnt, cause im a big pussy. friday, i am just going to sit near her and say hi. do it.
anyways, i am lovesick. because i am just looking for distractions right now, instead of staying focused through finals week. instead im looking around at all the pretty girls. i need to stop. but i cant help it, i guess i have a new thing for really smart girls with short blonde hair. sigh.
i thought i brushed off the cobwebs in bellingham by getting rejected, but i guess not. today i totally couldve sat next to her and just been chill and relaxed, but i didnt, cause im a big pussy. friday, i am just going to sit near her and say hi. do it.