[2004.08.04] Iza, Now!! in Yokohama MC
Dug out this gem where both Sho and Ohno mentioned about being molested on different occasions, Nino being accused of harassing a woman, and Aiba behaving inappropriately on a train. Please DO NOT repost elsewhere without permission.
Sakurai: Everyone in Yokohama, hello!
Aiba: Yo!
Matsumoto: Hello~
Audience: Hello
Sakurai:Oyaoya… Are you still asleep? Everyone~ you sound so soft!
Matsumoto: What happened?
Sakurai: Everyone in Yokohama…. HELLO!!!!!
Audience: Hello!!
Sakurai: I’ll say this again, we are… shiny gorgeous 5-men group, Arashi~
Matsumoto: Hello.
Sakurai: And, we seek for your favour as always. With that, we’d like to talk for a while for please take a seat… and rest for a while.
Sakurai: Yokohama… THREE DAYS (in English)!
Aiba: Yes.
Sakurai: Time really flies as this is already the last stop in Japan.
Matsumoto: Ooh~ how true.
Aiba: So fast~
Sakurai: This morning, something really shocking happened to me.
Members: OHHH~!!!
Sakurai: When I was riding the train on my way here…
Ninomiya: Oh
Sakurai: I met a pervert.
Audience: EHHHHH!?
Ninomiya: You seemed kinda amused. Like you’re quite pleased?
Aiba: Wait, wait! Typically, girls are the ones being harassed right? Pervert… so you were the one?
Sakurai: Not me~!!!
Aiba: Not you? Ah so you met one?
Matsumoto: That pervert, was it a man? Did he harass you by action? Or was he doing pervert things by himself?
Sakurai: To put it frankly, it was an old uncle (laugh).
Audience: Ehhh~!!!
Members: Ho~
Aiba: You did well surviving that.
Ninomiya: You did well.
Sakurai: Ah~ I was scared. I was really scared. I really thought that pervert was very scary.
Aiba: Eh? How exactly happened? Show us, act it out!(laugh)
Ninomiya: What the…? You’re asking him to reenact the scene?
Aiba: First, you’re in the train… (preparing all the props on stage)
Sakurai: Holding a bag… the train isn’t that empty, it’s morning after all.
Aiba: Ah, I see(laugh) Holding a bag.
Sakurai: No, it was me, I was holding a bag like this, and that man, he aimed for the bag I was holding… at first… how should I put this… his hand was shaking like this. He was shaking.
Aiba: The bag was here?
Sakurai: Here, there’s a bag. It was that man’s bag… and he was shaking like this.
Members: Oh~
Sakurai: It was quite hot, that’s disgusting isn’t it?
Members: Hm.
Sakurai: So I went like “uwa~!” (hitting the man’s hand to keep him away), like “uwa!”.
Aiba: And then!?
Sakurai: He said “sumimasen” (very soft voice)
Audience: IYAAA!!
Sakurai: That was super scary~ Even I couldn’t start rapping in such a close distance(laugh)
Ninomiya: Nonono, rapping isn’t a weapon okay!?
Matsumoto: That’s no place for rapping. If you started rapping on the train it’ll cause trouble wouldn’t it?
Ninomiya: It’ll be bad too if he tags along, right?
Aiba: Ahahahaha…
Sakurai: Anyway I was just, really disgusted… so I did this “uwa!” (totally grossed-out face) alone. And then, right before I got down the train, he hooked my last finger with his finger~
Audience: Kyaaaaa!!
Matsumoto: Seriously??
Ninomiya: How disgusting~ You can just date him now, just date him already! (sarcastic high voice). Perhaps he’s here now.
Ohno: Maybe he’s here, who knows.
Sakurai: This is just one of those, I can’t become a proper bride anymore~ kind of thing!!
Matsumoto: You won’t ever be a bride!
Sakurai: Then, I really thought about it! With these perverts around, it’s really scary for girls… Because I’ve experienced it first-hand.
Matsumoto: And you didn’t shout “there’s a pervert here!”
Sakurai: Ah, I wanted to say that.
Matsumoto: It would be better if you said “this man is a pervert!”
Sakurai: But you know~ what if I’m wrong? That person is a man after all. Wouldn’t I be the stupidest guy for misunderstanding such things?
Aiba: But, but~ he hooked on to you last finger right? Like this…
Sakurai: It’s really scary, for real.
Aiba: What promise did you guys make?(laugh)
Ohno: This kind of things don’t just happen right?
Aiba: It’s just too weird.
Ohno: Ehh~ this is~ so gross!!
Sakurai: When he said “sumimasen” the first time, I was grossed out too, like what the hell is he doing!? He was doing all sorts of things to gain my attention… then when he said “sumimasen”, I said “sumimasen” too out of fear…
Ninomiya: Sho-kun
Sakurai: And then, he came near and said “sumimasen” again, I was so disgusted I screamed “AHHHH”(laugh)
Ninomiya: Eh? So how many times in total did you guys come in contact?
Sakurai: Ah~ about 3 times I think. It’s like a mini handshake event, you know…?
Aiba: 3 times!?
Matsumoto: And when you went out, he hooked on to your last finger?
Sakurai: You see, he ran out of time right? Upon nearing the station he came close to me in a split second, and his last finger came too(laugh)
Matsumoto: That’s amazing. Eh, did he know that you’re Sakurai Sho?
Sakurai: Nah, I don’t think so. But that fact itself is shocking too.
Ninomiya: Eh? Were you wearing a cap?
Sakurai: I was wearing spectacles.
Ninomiya: Ah~ Then I guess you’re the type he likes.
Aiba: That kind of style.
Ninomiya: It’s that man’s taste.
Matsumoto: You definitely appeared to be helpless in that style, like you can’t do anything rough.
Sakurai: Like I’m the weak kind…
Ninomiya: But, his biceps seem pretty tough.
Sakurai: You’re so annoying(laugh) Such unwanted compliments!!
Ohno: Wasn’t his last finger attractive to that man? Wasn’t it his last finger?
Matsumoto: Last finger fetish.
Ninomiya: Is there anyone else who’ve met a pervert before?
Aiba: I’ve met many people but a pervert isn’t one of them…
Matsumoto: No pervert.
Sakurai: This is actually my 2nd time meeting one.
Audience: Ehhh~!!
Sakurai: I also met a pervert when I was in 1st year of middle school. Yes, there is someone else. Ohno-kun you said you’ve met a pervert before right?
Ohno: Yes I have… When I was a Junior, the train was full…
Aiba: Wait, act it out, show us.
Sakurai: Why the heck are you so eager to act it out? You only wanted to pretend you’re holding on the leather strap right?
Ohno: I couldn’t reach it… (the leather strap)
Aiba: Ah, when you were in 1st year of middle school?
Ohno: I was standing at the corner… many people came in… and he was so close to me (face to face)
Ninomiya: A man?
Ohno: Like this.
Ninomiya & Aiba: A man?
Ohno: A man.
Matsumoto: Then? Then?
Ohno: And he touched me here (crotch area).
Aiba: Uwaa…
Audience: (all kinds of cries)
Sakurai: Does he really need to do that? How come such things make people like that feel good?(laugh)
Ohno: Really. It’s kinda scary.
Sakurai: I remember now, he didn’t just hook on to my last finger, he was touching my belly button.
Audience: Eehh~!!
Ninomiya: What’s that about? You have something here (belly piercing)
Sakurai: Ah, right.
Ohno: Your belly piercing stud was stolen?
Matsumoto: But you weren’t showing your belly right? It’s usually covered up isn’t it?
Sakurai: What kind of a drag queen am I? I don’t walk around exposing my belly~
Matsumoto: He touched your belly button?
Sakurai: When he touched me… I thought “great, now I have something to say during MC”.
Ohno: It’s quite scary recently huh
Ninomiya: Here it comes! Leader.
Ohno: Being mistaken for a pervert…
Aiba: Yes yes.
Ninomiya: Has it happened to you guys before?
Ohno: This guy (Nino) is amazing I tell you!!
Ninomiya: I’ve been mistaken for a pervert 3 times.
Aiba: You’ve been falsely accused? That’s dangerous, just one missed step and you would’ve been arrested!
Ninomiya: Oh~ Once, when I was with Hina-chan~ I was mistaken for one.
Aiba: Oh, Murakami!! Hagure Keiji(Estranged Police)…(laugh)
Ninomiya: When I was with Hagure Keiji, Police was scolded real bad, as so was I.
Matsumoto: What do you mean? Scolded by whom?
Ninomiya: By that woman.
Matsumoto: But you didn’t do it?
Ninomiya: Hm.
Aiba: What was the reason?
Ninomiya: Ah~ my mobile phone.
Aiba: Ah, mobile phone? That thing is dangerous.
Ninomiya: I put my phone in here (the back pocket of his trousers). And the woman was standing here (right behind him).
Aiba: Let’s act it out.
Sakurai: Why are you making us acting it out again!?
Scene reenacting: Nino as himself, Aiba as the woman, Jun as Hina. Nino and Hina both stood back to back with the woman, with their bums slightly touching. Nino’s phone rang (in vibration mode) but since it was in his pocket and he wanted to avoid touching the woman, he left the phone as it is without attempting to pick up the call. Then…
Ninomiya: This person (the woman) kept glaring at Police.
Matsumoto: Ahaha. Though he has got nothing to do with it.
Ninomiya: Though it’s none of his fault, Police was constantly being glared at. And it so happened that Police was staying over at my house that day, so we both got off at the same station. This person (the woman) also got off here. Then, “don’t do things of such disgrace!” she scolded us, both me and Police. Really, it came as a total shock… for me.
Sakurai: Mobile phone huh. And you couldn’t do anything else in such a state right?
Ninomiya: I couldn’t do anything~ It doesn’t ring often, but it just did during that time.
Aiba: Then just turn it off! Your phone.
Audience: *claps*
Ninomiya: Turn off my phone?
Sakurai: Ohno-kun, what would you do with your pocket bell (beeper)?
Matsumoto: You’d have to turn it off too I suppose.
Ohno: I’d turn it off I guess.
Aiba: Cause it might go off too…
Sakurai: This person (Ohno), right before the concert… I said the same thing before this, but his phone rings a lot right before concerts, don’t you think?
Ohno: Oh it does.
Ninomiya: And, it rings right after Music Station too right?
Ohno: Yes it rings. Ah, recently it doesn’t anymore.
Matsumoto: Hm? What’s going on?
Sakurai: What made the ringing stop?
Ohno: After a live program… it doesn’t ring that much.
Sakurai: Eh, I don’t get you, I don’t understand.
Ohno: It did ring before this! Like it was quite rare.
Ninomiya: The fact that you appeared on TV huh.
Ohno: I appeared on this program… like that.
Ninomiya: I saw you, I saw you… like that.
Ohno: Recently it’s just… but, this time it rang.
Sakurai: Like friends who came to see you? And, friends who bought the tickets which you were selling?
Ohno: Come on, what are you talking about… not like that (laugh) Well~ it did ring, but it wasn’t from people who are coming to our concert.
Members: Eh?
Ohno: Things like, you’re in Yokohama today right? It’s the 2nd day today right? Please work hard…
Sakurai: Amazing.
Ohno: It’s really just the regular stuff.
Sakurai: Okay okay I understand now…(laugh)
Aiba: How nice~ and you’ll work hard for real huh.
Ohno: I’d work hard just for that.
Ninomiya: Such calls never came for me.
Matsumoto: Me neither.
Ninomiya: Please work hard, I guess only my mom says that to me.
Aiba: Not even my mom calls me for that.
Sakurai: What?
Aiba: Not even my mom calls me for that!
Sakurai: Huh?
Aiba: Not even my mom calls me for that! Wait, wait, isn’t this weird? Were you even listening?
Sakurai: Ooh.
Aiba: And, going with the flow, from “only my mom calls me to tell me such things” to “not even my mom calls me for that”… I’m right, am I not?
Sakurai: Oh, okay then you’re right.
Aiba: The flow of the conversation. You don’t get it huh.
Ohno: Since he met the pervert, he can’t comprehend anything anymore.
Aiba: Because he met the pervert.
Ohno: He became numb…
Aiba: Became numb!? (laugh)
Matsumoto: Why don’t we have a men-only coach?
Sakurai: I don’t want that~
Aiba: I don’t that that, if I’m in a men-only coach.
Sakurai: You see, I met a pervert, who is a man.
Aiba: I even got beaten up before by an uncle, on the train.
Ninomiya: This guy, just now umm~ the audience from this side… people from around this side, when he said to turn the phone off, you guys clapped right? That clap, it really, umm~ a waste of clapping, that’s what I think. This guy… when was it? When you were in 2nd year of middle school?
Aiba: Yeah that was 2nd year of middle school.
Ninomiya: I was in 1st year. When we went home, it so happens to be quite empty.
Aiba: Yeah it was quite empty. And it was at the subway. Nino was sitting here like this. There’s another Junior here. Leader, you act as that uncle.
Scene reenacting: From left, Junior, Aiba, Nino. Uncle Leader facing them.
Aiba: Yes, stand right in front of me, Uncle.
Ninomiya: And, everyone was chewing gum.
Aiba: Chewing gum. And, pechapechapechachewing away. And I spat it out on the gum paper, wrapped it up… and I threw it through the space between the chairs(laugh) It was during 2nd year of middle school. When I was most full of myself. Alright? I threw it there. Right then!! A hand which had been holding on to the leather strap came right on me.
Ninomiya: “What do you think you’re doing?” he shouted. Oh come on, you must’ve saw that coming right? It’s only natural that it happened, right? When the man said “what do you think you’re doing?”, I immediately started reading my comic (laugh).
Aiba: That was really really scary. So, that’s it. I’m never ever doing such things again. I keep thinking now, that I mustn't dirty the streets.
Ninomiya: You’re a CLEAN person now huh?
Aiba: Yes I am.
Ninomiya: I thought he was really standing out on that train.
Aiba: I was beaten up! Can you believe it?
Matsumoto: To be beaten up, it’s amazing.
Aiba: Amazing.
Ohno: Well, you did something bad first.
Aiba: It was bad. Yes. I am sorry.
Ninomiya: (Aiba was) so noisy. It’s like, he was in his own room, on that train. It was a long time ago, when we went back by train, we sat together. And during that time, that Tamagocchi~ that white one, it was actually quite expensive like one of those premium models, but he didn’t know that. The existence of Tamagocchi. And while wondering what it was, he switched it on, and suddenly the Tamagocchi came alive like “pipipipi”… he kept shouting “ahhhh”… and kept dropping it on the floor, the Tamagocchi!! I kept thinking “isn’t he going to pick it up?”, but after that I just pretended not to see anything.
Aiba: I was full of myself. Sorry, sorry, I’m much better now already.
Ninomiya: And there was a time when he turned rounds using that leather strap too.
Aiba: There was. Holding on to the leather strap, and go like “gah-”.
Ohno: He climbed up to the top of the leather strap before.
Matsumoto: On a regular train?
Ninomiya: That overhead compartment right?
Ohno: That overhead compartment.
Ninomiya: He slept there right?
Aiba: It’s amazing. I was that stupid, so stupid.
Matsumoto: Stupid indeed.
Aiba: But, thank goodness. Just like that, I became a part of Arashi.
Matsumoto: Don’t linked that to your career.
Aiba: And the fact that I turned out fine, I owe it to everyone here.
Audience: *claps*
Ninomiya: You wrapped it up so nicely, those people don’t know the truth. All they can do is clap.
Aiba: I see. Sorry about that.
Ninomiya: You shouldn’t do that right? Especially towards those sitting at the parents-and-children section.
Aiba: Yes. I want to say that to those sitting at the parent-and-children section.
Ninomiya: You shouldn’t play with the leather strap.
Aiba: Or you’ll end up like Ohno-kun.
Ninomiya: But, if you want to end up like Ohno-kun you should try sleeping there once. Perhaps your life would change forever.
Aiba: Your life would change forever, right.
Ninomiya: Hm? How come the 2 of you are talking over there? (Jun & Ohno)
Matsumoto: Eh? No no. You guys were talking about Ohno-kun, so I was asking him if he wanted to say something too.
Aiba: Right.
Ninomiya: Eh? You’re the oldest right?
Ohno: That~’s right. Yes (laugh).
Aiba: So, Leader please introduce the next song.
Ohno: Alright. So, mina-chan… wait not mina-chan~(laugh)
Aiba: You’re older right?
Ninomiya: The oldest right?
Ohno: Somehow my mouth feels dry today. I don’t know why.
Ninomiya: Are you okay?
Ohno: So,mina-chan(laugh)
Ninomiya: Leader!! Are you alright!?
Ohno: I’m fine.
Aiba: Shall I do it?
Ohno: Nah, I’m fine. Mina-san, STAND UP!!
Ninomiya: But it sounded like Japanese.
Ohno: Ah~ really. I think maybe it’s because of the heat.
Matsumoto: It’s not even the peak yet
Ohno: It’s just mid-summer.
Matsumoto: It’ll keep going on.
Ohno: So Aiba-san, if you please.
Ninomiya: Eh? It’s supposed to be Leader. Com’on, lead the crowd, Leader warm things up!!
Aiba: Leader warm things up, and introduce the next song.
Matsumoto: If you please.
Ohno: What should I say?
Matsumoto: Well, just do it your way, Leader.
Ohno: How’s our force coming!? (YEAH)
Ohno: E~H!! (Ehh~)
Ohno: E~H!! (Ehh~)
Ohno: Oo~ii!! (Oo~i~)
Ohno: Oo~ii!! (Oo~i~)
Ohno: So we shall keep going from now on. Up next, by Sakurai Sho, “Unti Unti”.
Honestly, when Aiba and Nino joked about "ending up like Ohno-kun" it was quite insensitive, and I have the feeling that they wouldn’t have kept talking like that had Sho been around during that time. The incident was both tragic and sad, perhaps traumatic, Ohno didn’t really want to talk about it until prompted by Sho. I think having Aiba and Nino digging into this haunting memory in such manner (not on purpose, no doubt) was the main reason Ohno couldn’t quite function well later on. Then again, they all handled it well and everything ended on a good note, which is all that mattered.