Nano Opening
This is the opening to my nano, kinda like a prologue except not separated from the first chapter by more then a scene break. Felt the urge to post it for no apparent reason. Boredom?
Takes place in present tense, whereas the majority of the novel takes place in past tense. Or as much as I ever write in a tense (I have, admittedly, bad tense sense so to speak.)
So, this is the opening, for Seeing Lines, part one of the nano.
Beware, it hasn't been edited or anything.
Two horses stand atop a bluff, sleek black beasts with eyes more intelligent then most of their fellows. Proud figures against the mid day sun, manes blowing in a spring wind as they survey the ocean and cliffs before them. Less then a step would take either of them over the drop, down hundreds of yards and into the churning surf. There are no other horses around, it is an odd place for two young stallions to be together without a herd. But while they are herd less, they are not alone in their stoic vigil.
Men, not much more then youths, stand one to either side of the stallions. Not one of the horses wears harness or saddle, nor do then men have any on their persons, but the way they stand together is not the way of a wild animal and strange men. These four are a set, even down to their matching tense stances and the stern look in expressions of men and beast alike. Something has caught their attention and put them ill at ease, and whatever it is lies out in the waters before them.
The first man shifts his feet ever so slightly, his horses ears twitching in response. “We shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have let you talk me into coming here.” His voice is a whisper but holds a fountain of cold accusation even at such a low volume.
His name is Luan, he is a turn of seasons older then his companion and is suppose to be hunting for stag in the forest, not hours away from the woods and decidedly not hunting. Luan has never been able to say no to Dostin when the begged for favours, and the other man had looked so earnest last night when he'd asked Luan to accompany him on a 'secret venture'.
“Someone had to see this. I couldn't be the only one to know, and I thought you'd know what to do about it.” Dostin, the second man waved a hand dramatically in front of them, the jerking motion causing lines of beads to jangle where they're tied through his hair. He doesn't bother to keep his voice down. There is no one around to here, despite Luan's paranoia.
“I agree you shouldn't be the only one to know, but the only reason you're showing me is because you didn't want to have to be the one to tell the Elders. Which you should have done as soon as you returned to camp last night-not drag me out with secrecy!”
Dostin chewed on his lip for a moment, hawkish face pulled into pensive deliberation. “We could just say nothing, you know. Someone else will see it eventually, and it looks bound for the Serpent River in the far South Valley. None of the Clans travel down there much, if at all, and it could move on before anyone is wiser.”
Luan shook his head dismissively, placing a hand on his horses withers and swiftly leveraging himself up onto the stallions back. “Look at that, Dostin!” His voice had finally joined his friends in the higher octaves. “It isn't going to go away, their coming to stay. Now get on Swift and follow me back to camp. The sooner this is in the Elders hands, the sooner I can wash my hands of it and start ignoring you forever.”
Without waiting for a response, Luan clicked his tongue against his teeth, his horse rising up on its back legs and prancing away from the edge. It came down to all fours facing away form the bluff and already running, as if as anxious as its carefully balanced rider to be away.
Dostin huffed out a breath, mounting his own stallion and urging it to circle its body away from the edge. Before he gave the subtle signal for it to chase after its fellow shrinking away in the distance, Dostin took one last glance over his shoulder at the eastern sea-line.
Five great ships, larger then he had ever believed a boat could be, marred the otherwise perfect ocean waves. Sails as wide and white as clouds billowed against the sky as sea birds circle masts as tall as the oldest trees, guiding the wooden beasts in a steady course. Markings different the any of his own peoples, or of the other two seclusive cultures that called this vast continent their own, marred the whiteness of the sails. With the spring winds in their favour, and if the rate and path of travel kept up, they'd hit land in two or three days time, near the lower edge of the land. They were to far away for even Dostin, know for keen sight, to spot anyone individuals aboard them, but boats that big could easily hold the entire Takigho peoples-and most of their horses and possessions.
Unless the ships were empty, there would soon be new neighbours on their land.
Takes place in present tense, whereas the majority of the novel takes place in past tense. Or as much as I ever write in a tense (I have, admittedly, bad tense sense so to speak.)
So, this is the opening, for Seeing Lines, part one of the nano.
Beware, it hasn't been edited or anything.
Two horses stand atop a bluff, sleek black beasts with eyes more intelligent then most of their fellows. Proud figures against the mid day sun, manes blowing in a spring wind as they survey the ocean and cliffs before them. Less then a step would take either of them over the drop, down hundreds of yards and into the churning surf. There are no other horses around, it is an odd place for two young stallions to be together without a herd. But while they are herd less, they are not alone in their stoic vigil.
Men, not much more then youths, stand one to either side of the stallions. Not one of the horses wears harness or saddle, nor do then men have any on their persons, but the way they stand together is not the way of a wild animal and strange men. These four are a set, even down to their matching tense stances and the stern look in expressions of men and beast alike. Something has caught their attention and put them ill at ease, and whatever it is lies out in the waters before them.
The first man shifts his feet ever so slightly, his horses ears twitching in response. “We shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have let you talk me into coming here.” His voice is a whisper but holds a fountain of cold accusation even at such a low volume.
His name is Luan, he is a turn of seasons older then his companion and is suppose to be hunting for stag in the forest, not hours away from the woods and decidedly not hunting. Luan has never been able to say no to Dostin when the begged for favours, and the other man had looked so earnest last night when he'd asked Luan to accompany him on a 'secret venture'.
“Someone had to see this. I couldn't be the only one to know, and I thought you'd know what to do about it.” Dostin, the second man waved a hand dramatically in front of them, the jerking motion causing lines of beads to jangle where they're tied through his hair. He doesn't bother to keep his voice down. There is no one around to here, despite Luan's paranoia.
“I agree you shouldn't be the only one to know, but the only reason you're showing me is because you didn't want to have to be the one to tell the Elders. Which you should have done as soon as you returned to camp last night-not drag me out with secrecy!”
Dostin chewed on his lip for a moment, hawkish face pulled into pensive deliberation. “We could just say nothing, you know. Someone else will see it eventually, and it looks bound for the Serpent River in the far South Valley. None of the Clans travel down there much, if at all, and it could move on before anyone is wiser.”
Luan shook his head dismissively, placing a hand on his horses withers and swiftly leveraging himself up onto the stallions back. “Look at that, Dostin!” His voice had finally joined his friends in the higher octaves. “It isn't going to go away, their coming to stay. Now get on Swift and follow me back to camp. The sooner this is in the Elders hands, the sooner I can wash my hands of it and start ignoring you forever.”
Without waiting for a response, Luan clicked his tongue against his teeth, his horse rising up on its back legs and prancing away from the edge. It came down to all fours facing away form the bluff and already running, as if as anxious as its carefully balanced rider to be away.
Dostin huffed out a breath, mounting his own stallion and urging it to circle its body away from the edge. Before he gave the subtle signal for it to chase after its fellow shrinking away in the distance, Dostin took one last glance over his shoulder at the eastern sea-line.
Five great ships, larger then he had ever believed a boat could be, marred the otherwise perfect ocean waves. Sails as wide and white as clouds billowed against the sky as sea birds circle masts as tall as the oldest trees, guiding the wooden beasts in a steady course. Markings different the any of his own peoples, or of the other two seclusive cultures that called this vast continent their own, marred the whiteness of the sails. With the spring winds in their favour, and if the rate and path of travel kept up, they'd hit land in two or three days time, near the lower edge of the land. They were to far away for even Dostin, know for keen sight, to spot anyone individuals aboard them, but boats that big could easily hold the entire Takigho peoples-and most of their horses and possessions.
Unless the ships were empty, there would soon be new neighbours on their land.