kids say the darndest things
I've amassed quite the collection of funny kid comments over the last week. A few of the shorter favorites:
-During a break at karate on Thursday, the instructor sliced up some summer sausage and gave it out to a few of the kids (they're boys -- they're always hungry). One of them takes a seat toward the back of the room, sitting back and looking relaxed and munching very slowly and deliberately on his little piece of sausage. I ask him if he's ok. His response: "I'm just savoring it."
-I was talking to one of the kids I know (from both karate and church) at church on Sunday morning about how kids call him a nerd. I told him that I call myself a nerd -- when you get out of school, it's not such a bad thing any more, and is usually more equated with success. He laughed and talked about how they'll all be jealous when he's a famous & successful lawyer. Then he told me about how the 4th and 5th grade gifted students (he's a 5th grader) are doing a mock trial, but that he's bummed that he's the defense attorney. He wanted to be the prosecuter, and in true future-lawyer fashion, tried to change his teacher's mind: "I told her that since the burden of proof is on the prosecution rather than the defense, shouldn't she put the fifth graders in charge of the prosecution instead of the fourth graders?" He was annoyed that his logical argument did not change the teacher's mind. I don't think he understands that no matter how logical a kid is being, and adult is rarely going to take back a decision.
-I think weddings would be better if kids planned them. But this story requires a bit of back story.
So, like, back in January sometime I think it was, somehow I end up talking to one of my teenage karate students, Colin, about whether we get along better with people of the same sex or opposite sex. I joked that when I get married some day, I hope it's to a guy with several good female friends because I'm not sure if I have enough close female friends to fill all the bridesmaid spots, but have plenty of good guy friends to offer to fill up the other side of the group. Colin tells me that he'll be a bridesmaid for me, then asks if he can wear a dress. I say sure, and he insists on shaking on it. So we periodically joke about how he's going to be a bridesmaid for me when I (someday) get married.
So anyway, sometime during our practice on Saturday, he says, "Miss Kristen, you need to hurry up and get married so I can be a bridesmaid for you." I'm like, "Yeah, dude, you're probably going to have to wait quite a while. Get used to it." Well, the other kids all chime in with requests to be in this wedding (again, not exactly looming in the near future, but they don't get this. Apparently, as a grownup, I can simply make the decision to get married and suddenly it will happen). So eventually, as they are scrambling for assignments, one of them suggests that it would be cool to have a choreographed fight break out in the middle of the ceremony. This progresses into the idea of a ninjas vs pirates themed wedding. Some tidbits include having guests come dressed as one or the other, having the ushers actually ask "Ninjas or Pirates?" and seating guests accordingly, and having someone dressed as a ninja hide inside a really large cake, either slicing the cake from the inside with a sword, bursting out of the cake at an opportune moment, or (I guess ideally) both. I think they're going to be disappointed when these plans don't come to fruition someday -- they seemed really attached to these ideas.
-During a break at karate on Thursday, the instructor sliced up some summer sausage and gave it out to a few of the kids (they're boys -- they're always hungry). One of them takes a seat toward the back of the room, sitting back and looking relaxed and munching very slowly and deliberately on his little piece of sausage. I ask him if he's ok. His response: "I'm just savoring it."
-I was talking to one of the kids I know (from both karate and church) at church on Sunday morning about how kids call him a nerd. I told him that I call myself a nerd -- when you get out of school, it's not such a bad thing any more, and is usually more equated with success. He laughed and talked about how they'll all be jealous when he's a famous & successful lawyer. Then he told me about how the 4th and 5th grade gifted students (he's a 5th grader) are doing a mock trial, but that he's bummed that he's the defense attorney. He wanted to be the prosecuter, and in true future-lawyer fashion, tried to change his teacher's mind: "I told her that since the burden of proof is on the prosecution rather than the defense, shouldn't she put the fifth graders in charge of the prosecution instead of the fourth graders?" He was annoyed that his logical argument did not change the teacher's mind. I don't think he understands that no matter how logical a kid is being, and adult is rarely going to take back a decision.
-I think weddings would be better if kids planned them. But this story requires a bit of back story.
So, like, back in January sometime I think it was, somehow I end up talking to one of my teenage karate students, Colin, about whether we get along better with people of the same sex or opposite sex. I joked that when I get married some day, I hope it's to a guy with several good female friends because I'm not sure if I have enough close female friends to fill all the bridesmaid spots, but have plenty of good guy friends to offer to fill up the other side of the group. Colin tells me that he'll be a bridesmaid for me, then asks if he can wear a dress. I say sure, and he insists on shaking on it. So we periodically joke about how he's going to be a bridesmaid for me when I (someday) get married.
So anyway, sometime during our practice on Saturday, he says, "Miss Kristen, you need to hurry up and get married so I can be a bridesmaid for you." I'm like, "Yeah, dude, you're probably going to have to wait quite a while. Get used to it." Well, the other kids all chime in with requests to be in this wedding (again, not exactly looming in the near future, but they don't get this. Apparently, as a grownup, I can simply make the decision to get married and suddenly it will happen). So eventually, as they are scrambling for assignments, one of them suggests that it would be cool to have a choreographed fight break out in the middle of the ceremony. This progresses into the idea of a ninjas vs pirates themed wedding. Some tidbits include having guests come dressed as one or the other, having the ushers actually ask "Ninjas or Pirates?" and seating guests accordingly, and having someone dressed as a ninja hide inside a really large cake, either slicing the cake from the inside with a sword, bursting out of the cake at an opportune moment, or (I guess ideally) both. I think they're going to be disappointed when these plans don't come to fruition someday -- they seemed really attached to these ideas.