"I want to [verb] your [noun]."

[demonqueen666]

cynthia_arrow started a post on words that will take you right out of a good sex scene. It's an interesting topic; I was just going to link to her entry, but then I realized it was f-locked

Comments

[supersyncspaz7]

I hate "cum" so, so, so much too. It just oogs me out.

[demonqueen666]

I know, right?? At least "jizz" is good for a laugh. "Cum" is just...wrong.

[isis2015]

I can't readily think of anything, but the one thing that does come to mind is something that isn't exactly about sex. I hate the phrase kissing someone "full on the mouth". Just...what does that even mean?

[demonqueen666]

Um, I think I might've actually used that one. *embarassed* IDK, it is kind of Harlequin-y, but sometimes it's the only thing I can think of to describe...

Well, I admittedly don't have the greatest vocabulary for writing make-outs, to be fair. It's something that bothers me, I've noticed lately - seems like all I can ever come up with is "they kissed, and they kissed, and they kissed some more".

[twilightsocks]

Words like "rod" or "shaft" just make me giggle. Honestly I'd rather they just go ahead and say "cock" or something; that's what you mean, after all. Oh, and when the girl is "dripping wet." Does that even happen? If it does, I'm jealous. ;P

I can't think of anything else specific offhand, but in general, I guess for me it's mostly when it's so, so obvious that the author has absolutely no idea how sex works. That's not to say a virgin can't write a good scene, but seriously, ask around or lurk on sex-talk coms or something. I've seen way too many fics where, in the case of a first-time, the guy can feel the girl's hymen as he breaks through ('cause it's totally way up inside, yup), or the girl cries and is in so much pain for like two seconds, but then she's having a screaming orgasm. Uhhhh no? Don't learn about sex from your mother's Harlequin novels, kids.

[demonqueen666]

Oh, and when the girl is "dripping wet." Does that even happen? If it does, I'm jealous. ;P

Seriously. I will confide to having been, at best, "very sticky". What are they even doing that they start to "drip"?? Watching Johnny Depp make out with...Johnny Depp?

And, yes, the people who write porn yet have no idea about the mechanics. Seriously, folks, as a porn-writing virgin I can tell you: it ain't THAT hard to learn. That's what the INTERNET is for, y/y?

[twilightsocks]

I remember this one particularly bad Avatar sex scene. It contained the phrase "Katara screamed as her third orgasm hit her." And this was first-time sex, mind you. With no clit-play, just penetration. Zuko's peen was just that awesome. LULZ.

[demonqueen666]

Third orgasm. With virgin sex. Really.

My god, some people just have no clue.

...my icon never has and never will be more appropriate XD