It's been Soooo long...
I haven't posted in here a while.
Thought I'd jot down some thoughts I'm having....
Since the split between Jordan and I, I've changed a lot.
I withdrew gradually from everything I knew and loved.
I gained weight, and became very unhappy.
I've entertained all sorts of thoughts, and none of them are ideal nor realistic.
What I did do, however, is improve on things that needed improved on.
I made goals and kept them.
I thought that would make me happy, I thought possibly that's what my life was missing.
In working on everything that involves my life though, I forgot about myself on a personal level.
I don't dress nice anymore.
I don't really fix my hair anymore.
I don't really care about makeup like I once did.
I don't even really listen to music as often as I used to.
I rarely see friends.
I keep saying I will change these things - but I always had to make time for everything else in my life. Trying to keep my head above water.
I know that happiness lies in myself - and I'm doing what I can to draw that back out.
I couldn't sleep tonight, and have been deep in thought for so long trying to figure out what I need to be happy. I feel like I'm dying. I just can't live like this anymore.
So I'm gonna start with the little things.
Going to try to dress nicer, try fixing myself up a bit more, and work on getting out to see friends. I still need to go play badminton over at Janifer's :)
I bought all the stuff we need - and still haven't used the birdies or raquets at all.
Thought I'd jot down some thoughts I'm having....
Since the split between Jordan and I, I've changed a lot.
I withdrew gradually from everything I knew and loved.
I gained weight, and became very unhappy.
I've entertained all sorts of thoughts, and none of them are ideal nor realistic.
What I did do, however, is improve on things that needed improved on.
I made goals and kept them.
I thought that would make me happy, I thought possibly that's what my life was missing.
In working on everything that involves my life though, I forgot about myself on a personal level.
I don't dress nice anymore.
I don't really fix my hair anymore.
I don't really care about makeup like I once did.
I don't even really listen to music as often as I used to.
I rarely see friends.
I keep saying I will change these things - but I always had to make time for everything else in my life. Trying to keep my head above water.
I know that happiness lies in myself - and I'm doing what I can to draw that back out.
I couldn't sleep tonight, and have been deep in thought for so long trying to figure out what I need to be happy. I feel like I'm dying. I just can't live like this anymore.
So I'm gonna start with the little things.
Going to try to dress nicer, try fixing myself up a bit more, and work on getting out to see friends. I still need to go play badminton over at Janifer's :)
I bought all the stuff we need - and still haven't used the birdies or raquets at all.