(no subject)
Title: The Next Auction
Series: Ouran High School Host Club (anime)
Characters: Host Club
Rating: PG
Notes: Set post-series, with a spoiler for the last episode.
A silly little reason for why Haruhi ended up in the king's seat in the very last scene.
The Host Club wondered what to put up for bidding at the next school auction for all of two seconds.
Then Renge was among them, eyes sparkling and instructions flying. "How can you even wonder? Offer what you offer each day: Yourselves. That is what the women of the school truly want from the host club!"
"You mean we should put ourselves up for auction?" Haruhi asked. "That sounds a little..."
"Brilliant, don't you think, Haruhi-kun?"
"Like slavery!"
"You misunderstand!" Renge said, waving a sheaf of papers in stern protest. "Let me explain. All I suggest the host club offers is the time of its members; your guests will bid on your undivided attention for a set amount of time! Although, now that you mention it, if you were to wear only, say, a very slave-like loincloth ... well. It could only add to the atmosphere."
The male members of the club glanced at Haruhi, and thought about her wearing only a loincloth. A few of them spontaneously combusted, and even Kyouya had to clear his throat.
"This proposal sounds as if--" he began.
"Ah! I knew I forgot something!" Renge said. "For you, Kyouya-sempai." She handed over the sheaf of papers she held, blushing; her soft spot for glasses characters would probably never fade. "The estimates of cost and profit."
Kyouya nodded acknowledgment. He took a moment to study Renge's figures. "We shall have to inform the school principal that the host club respectfully declines to enter the auction, as we have not found a suitable item to put up for bidding."
Renge gasped, putting a hand to her chest as if her heart had given a painful thump.
"Then spread the word among our guests about a private auction, seperate from the school one." Kyouya smiled. "Thank you for the idea, Renge-kun."
* * *
The host club auction was held the day before the school one, so that, Kyouya informed the guests, it could whet their appetite for the school auction. (He told the host club: "So that the guests may have all their money at their disposal, otherwise most of it might go to the school auction.").
It was a success of immense proportions, in monetary terms and in the satisfaction of the bidders; but for the host club itself...
* * *
Haruhi, Honey, and Mori went shopping after the auction, to attend to the important matter of celebratory cakes. Kyouya didn't mind spending the additional expenditure money at all; after going over the profit garnered from the auction, there was a gleam of joy in his eyes that his glasses couldn't mask.
"So Tamaki-sempai hasn't moved yet?" Haruhi asked when they returned, putting down her shopping bags.
"He hasn't even looked out of the corner since you left, milord," said Hikaru, jumping to her side; "Milady!" Kaoru corrected, popping up at her other side. "Tamaki was dethroned as king of the host club by a woman, remember."
From the corner came a stricken whimper, and the twins grinned.
"Would you like some instant coffee, sempai?" Haruhi asked, hoping vaguely that the drink would cheer Tamaki up.
"Let us make it!" Kaoru cried. "Milady shouldn't do work now that she's been elevated from the status of commoner."
Haruhi looked on sourly as the twins took the tin of coffee and the cup from her. "Nothing like that has happened. I was only the biggest bid at the auction because I was last. Everyone was excited by that time."
"No, no," Hikaru said solemnly. "The king of the host club is the one that garners the most attention from the guests. That person is the one who may instruct the rest of us if our techniques become lacking."
"Haru-chan would be a good leader," Honey remarked from the table, looking up from his plate of cake. You're kind and people like you and you're very-very-very smart!"
"Aa."
"The people have spoken!" Kaoru cried, and he and Hikaru kneeled to her. "You are our monarch!"
Then, finally, there was movement from the corner.
Tamaki rose and strode forwards, eyes sparkling with tears. Despite herself, Haruhi felt guilty -- and then Tamaki also sank to his knees.
"Sempai?"
"My daughter," said Tamaki, his voice heavy with import. "My only daughter - who has taken the throne from her father--"
"No, sempai, I-"
"DADDY IS SO PROUD OF YOU!" Tamaki flew up and embraced her, tears streaming down his cheeks and a trembling smile on his face.
"You have taken Daddy's advice - you have even grown beyond him! Dearest daughter, the throne is yours. You will be our queen, our king, our lord, our lady! Only you, Haruhi!"
Kaoru and Hikaru exchanged a mildly astonished look, shrugged, and said, "Long live the king!"
"A royal procession!" Tamaki cried. "Help us, Mori!"
"We need a different throne!" Honey said. "A princess like Haru-chan needs a pretty throne!"
And so, a few minutes later, Haruhi found herself bobbing around the school on a chair decorated with flowers and stuffed animals, carried on Mori's shoulders. She put her head in her hand, sighed, and tried to enjoy the view.
* * *
"You can have your throne back, sempai," Haruhi said, when the members of her procession allowed her to leave. "I never meant to take it."
"You have won it fairly," said Tamaki. "I would not dare to think I could take such a thing from you. Now, it remains only - only-" He was turning pink, and wriggling on the spot. "Only for Daddy to congratulate his daughter with a kiss!"
"Then again," said Haruhi, and adjusted her crown of flowers, "I must not try to escape my new responsibilities. I'll take the crown. My first order: no bothering the king!"
Series: Ouran High School Host Club (anime)
Characters: Host Club
Rating: PG
Notes: Set post-series, with a spoiler for the last episode.
A silly little reason for why Haruhi ended up in the king's seat in the very last scene.
The Host Club wondered what to put up for bidding at the next school auction for all of two seconds.
Then Renge was among them, eyes sparkling and instructions flying. "How can you even wonder? Offer what you offer each day: Yourselves. That is what the women of the school truly want from the host club!"
"You mean we should put ourselves up for auction?" Haruhi asked. "That sounds a little..."
"Brilliant, don't you think, Haruhi-kun?"
"Like slavery!"
"You misunderstand!" Renge said, waving a sheaf of papers in stern protest. "Let me explain. All I suggest the host club offers is the time of its members; your guests will bid on your undivided attention for a set amount of time! Although, now that you mention it, if you were to wear only, say, a very slave-like loincloth ... well. It could only add to the atmosphere."
The male members of the club glanced at Haruhi, and thought about her wearing only a loincloth. A few of them spontaneously combusted, and even Kyouya had to clear his throat.
"This proposal sounds as if--" he began.
"Ah! I knew I forgot something!" Renge said. "For you, Kyouya-sempai." She handed over the sheaf of papers she held, blushing; her soft spot for glasses characters would probably never fade. "The estimates of cost and profit."
Kyouya nodded acknowledgment. He took a moment to study Renge's figures. "We shall have to inform the school principal that the host club respectfully declines to enter the auction, as we have not found a suitable item to put up for bidding."
Renge gasped, putting a hand to her chest as if her heart had given a painful thump.
"Then spread the word among our guests about a private auction, seperate from the school one." Kyouya smiled. "Thank you for the idea, Renge-kun."
* * *
The host club auction was held the day before the school one, so that, Kyouya informed the guests, it could whet their appetite for the school auction. (He told the host club: "So that the guests may have all their money at their disposal, otherwise most of it might go to the school auction.").
It was a success of immense proportions, in monetary terms and in the satisfaction of the bidders; but for the host club itself...
* * *
Haruhi, Honey, and Mori went shopping after the auction, to attend to the important matter of celebratory cakes. Kyouya didn't mind spending the additional expenditure money at all; after going over the profit garnered from the auction, there was a gleam of joy in his eyes that his glasses couldn't mask.
"So Tamaki-sempai hasn't moved yet?" Haruhi asked when they returned, putting down her shopping bags.
"He hasn't even looked out of the corner since you left, milord," said Hikaru, jumping to her side; "Milady!" Kaoru corrected, popping up at her other side. "Tamaki was dethroned as king of the host club by a woman, remember."
From the corner came a stricken whimper, and the twins grinned.
"Would you like some instant coffee, sempai?" Haruhi asked, hoping vaguely that the drink would cheer Tamaki up.
"Let us make it!" Kaoru cried. "Milady shouldn't do work now that she's been elevated from the status of commoner."
Haruhi looked on sourly as the twins took the tin of coffee and the cup from her. "Nothing like that has happened. I was only the biggest bid at the auction because I was last. Everyone was excited by that time."
"No, no," Hikaru said solemnly. "The king of the host club is the one that garners the most attention from the guests. That person is the one who may instruct the rest of us if our techniques become lacking."
"Haru-chan would be a good leader," Honey remarked from the table, looking up from his plate of cake. You're kind and people like you and you're very-very-very smart!"
"Aa."
"The people have spoken!" Kaoru cried, and he and Hikaru kneeled to her. "You are our monarch!"
Then, finally, there was movement from the corner.
Tamaki rose and strode forwards, eyes sparkling with tears. Despite herself, Haruhi felt guilty -- and then Tamaki also sank to his knees.
"Sempai?"
"My daughter," said Tamaki, his voice heavy with import. "My only daughter - who has taken the throne from her father--"
"No, sempai, I-"
"DADDY IS SO PROUD OF YOU!" Tamaki flew up and embraced her, tears streaming down his cheeks and a trembling smile on his face.
"You have taken Daddy's advice - you have even grown beyond him! Dearest daughter, the throne is yours. You will be our queen, our king, our lord, our lady! Only you, Haruhi!"
Kaoru and Hikaru exchanged a mildly astonished look, shrugged, and said, "Long live the king!"
"A royal procession!" Tamaki cried. "Help us, Mori!"
"We need a different throne!" Honey said. "A princess like Haru-chan needs a pretty throne!"
And so, a few minutes later, Haruhi found herself bobbing around the school on a chair decorated with flowers and stuffed animals, carried on Mori's shoulders. She put her head in her hand, sighed, and tried to enjoy the view.
* * *
"You can have your throne back, sempai," Haruhi said, when the members of her procession allowed her to leave. "I never meant to take it."
"You have won it fairly," said Tamaki. "I would not dare to think I could take such a thing from you. Now, it remains only - only-" He was turning pink, and wriggling on the spot. "Only for Daddy to congratulate his daughter with a kiss!"
"Then again," said Haruhi, and adjusted her crown of flowers, "I must not try to escape my new responsibilities. I'll take the crown. My first order: no bothering the king!"