(no subject)
So I went to see Breaking Dawn.
JESUS CREEPING CHRIST
It was ostensibly for the lolz. I've been saying for ages that all I want is to see the demon baby birth scene, it would be a riot! I was wrong, I am weak, I repent, THAT WAS TRAUMATISING. The moment with Bella's spine cracking and the blood slushie splashing was both well-directed and my worst fucking nightmare as of now what the shit.
The movie didn't dance romantically around the distressing stuff at all. It's probably the most faithful book-to-movie adaptation I've ever heard of! Why does Twilight have to be the franchise with that honour? Oh my god those overhead pans of Bella with her uterus-shaped bitewound oh my fucking god. The birth scene is an excellent contraceptive.
Inducing crushing body horror was a pretty good distraction from the lack of plot, though, so at least it wasn't boring. I felt a bit bad for Taylor Lautner - his acting seems to be improving and he sold his crying scene ... and then his character had to go fall in love with a newborn. Another thing that I really expected the movie to shy away from, but nope, there it is. Also, it must be said, damn but he is attractive. Most of the cast is, especially the werewolf people and even the consumptive-looking vampires in a certain light, so the franchise gets some things right. I even ship Bella/Edward, in the same way I ship some BL manga couples - you semi-sociopathic weirdos work out well together and shouldn't be inflicted on anyone else, so go ahead and be cute together. Although I think I ship Bella/Jacob/Edward slightly more. They were this close to cuddling on the couch together, come on.
I am now going to try real hard not to look for gooshy Twilight threesome fic because it is probably located in a dark abyss, and also eat ice cream until I stop thinking about demon baby birth. Mmm, pistachio.
JESUS CREEPING CHRIST
It was ostensibly for the lolz. I've been saying for ages that all I want is to see the demon baby birth scene, it would be a riot! I was wrong, I am weak, I repent, THAT WAS TRAUMATISING. The moment with Bella's spine cracking and the blood slushie splashing was both well-directed and my worst fucking nightmare as of now what the shit.
The movie didn't dance romantically around the distressing stuff at all. It's probably the most faithful book-to-movie adaptation I've ever heard of! Why does Twilight have to be the franchise with that honour? Oh my god those overhead pans of Bella with her uterus-shaped bitewound oh my fucking god. The birth scene is an excellent contraceptive.
Inducing crushing body horror was a pretty good distraction from the lack of plot, though, so at least it wasn't boring. I felt a bit bad for Taylor Lautner - his acting seems to be improving and he sold his crying scene ... and then his character had to go fall in love with a newborn. Another thing that I really expected the movie to shy away from, but nope, there it is. Also, it must be said, damn but he is attractive. Most of the cast is, especially the werewolf people and even the consumptive-looking vampires in a certain light, so the franchise gets some things right. I even ship Bella/Edward, in the same way I ship some BL manga couples - you semi-sociopathic weirdos work out well together and shouldn't be inflicted on anyone else, so go ahead and be cute together. Although I think I ship Bella/Jacob/Edward slightly more. They were this close to cuddling on the couch together, come on.
I am now going to try real hard not to look for gooshy Twilight threesome fic because it is probably located in a dark abyss, and also eat ice cream until I stop thinking about demon baby birth. Mmm, pistachio.