It's a month since the World Cup final; thought I should finish and post this
Hot sweaty self-insert football RPF wish-fulfillment
or
What I learned about soccer in the 2010 World Cup
"And I was scared I'd be cold!"
The sun was setting on the winter day, the last rays bright on the arch of the Moses Mabhida stadium, but even so the temperature was best described as balmy. Durban really lived up to its reputation in a most beautiful way.
The first female World Cup referee passed a delicate yet strong hand across her brow to rid it of diamond-like beads of sweat that smelled of roses, totally, maybe also strawberries, and then placed it on her hip in a mirror to the other. Like an Amazon she stood, tall and yet note, also shapely, but not enough to make it difficult to find a pair of jeans (it's a very special kind of tall and shapely), training eagle eyes on the players and trying not to distract them with the light hazel with a hint of violet colour was a pretty okay type of person - and she saw what was coming.
Two players closed in on the ball and she dashed towards them - and still flinched when it happened. One man was on the ground, writhing, and the other hovered near the ball and threw his hands up in a gesture of innocence.
"Red card!"
Everybody nearby looked a little confused, but the referee stared only at the player on the ground.
"But ref--" The man sat up, then choked off into a wheeze, purpling.
"Red card for bad. Acting."
He blinked, swiping his damp (and hideous - it's a soccer player thing) hairstyle out of his eyes. Then he fell over in agony, having been so stunned by the initial knock that he could not judge his own strength, and had brutally beaten himself with that thoughtless swipe...
The ref was so not buying it, because HOW COULD ANYONE. "Nee man, nuh-uh. Some elbow in your windpipe and you're starting a funeral. That guy standing over there had like 100 kg of man fall on his NECK and he just bounced up because the ball was in front of him. Your own goalie stopped a ball with his inner thigh, do you know how much that must hurt? He put his, you know, whole business on the line for you! I'm sorry about that hand gesture. But THAT would have really hurt!
"You know what, who raised you? No, seriously, who. They must be so embarrassed right now, unless they are really assholes. Or is this because of the coach? Did he tell you to do this nonsense? Coach! You also get a red card! I really wish I could give you one! My jissie. What nonsense is this."
Disclaimer: the above is not true. I haven't been to Durbs in years.
People were blowing vuvuzelas today. ;__; (Of course, in Soccer City it's South Africa vs. Ghana at the moment, so almost certainly there are LOTS of vuvuzelas blowing today. Go SA! ...And Ghana, Ghana was pretty awesome too, but still, SA should go slightly more!)