(no subject)
This time last year was so hard for me… It was the time I found out about my first vocal jury as a performance major. The one where the basically told my voice teacher I was wretched. I weighed 200 pounds (which is overweight for my height). I drank too much. I had two D’s, a 2.74 GPA… I was depressed. I wanted to smoke cigarettes or do SOMETHING. Drop out, say fuck it and give up, move on to something I felt I could really excel in and be appreciated for. Or just move away, leave it all behind and start new, be someone different.
Well… Obviously, I didn’t. I could have. I wanted to. But I didn’t. Instead, I worked. I wanted to prove people wrong, myself included.
I didn’t want to be the kid who got into U of I just because he could sing. I knew deep down I was smart enough to go here. I knew then that I had the ability to sing, and prove to all of them that I was just as good as every other performance major here.
So, now it is a year later. And, again, of course I know I have many more road bumps ahead of me. But, from last year to now… I’ve made it.
-I’ve lost 37 pounds and am well into the average weight classification for my height. I’m starting to feel better about my body and myself.
-So far I have all A’s and one B, giving me a 3.8 GPA
-I still drink too much, but I know it isn’t a problem. It is just for fun…
-I have no desire to smoke ever again.
And… Here is the big one.
-I got A’s from all the voice faculty in my jury this semester. They each rate you on various things, and I got one B+ on presentation from the bitchiest faculty member besides thundercunt…
I’m doing okay. I’m happy. Sure, my life isn’t perfect. I still have problems and down moments. But if I could overcome all of that in a year… ONE year. I went from being the kid they wanted to change majors to the kid they wish would still be focusing on opera. I went from a fat ass to an average ass. I’m doing well academically at the U of I. Not just some random shitty school. A good ass school, and a music program that is well known.
So yes. I’m excited. And yes, I’m bragging. But, I feel good. And I’m happy. And I’m going to talk about it now because I’m sure something will come up that will take me off this high, but for right now. I’m going to enjoy it.
Well… Obviously, I didn’t. I could have. I wanted to. But I didn’t. Instead, I worked. I wanted to prove people wrong, myself included.
I didn’t want to be the kid who got into U of I just because he could sing. I knew deep down I was smart enough to go here. I knew then that I had the ability to sing, and prove to all of them that I was just as good as every other performance major here.
So, now it is a year later. And, again, of course I know I have many more road bumps ahead of me. But, from last year to now… I’ve made it.
-I’ve lost 37 pounds and am well into the average weight classification for my height. I’m starting to feel better about my body and myself.
-So far I have all A’s and one B, giving me a 3.8 GPA
-I still drink too much, but I know it isn’t a problem. It is just for fun…
-I have no desire to smoke ever again.
And… Here is the big one.
-I got A’s from all the voice faculty in my jury this semester. They each rate you on various things, and I got one B+ on presentation from the bitchiest faculty member besides thundercunt…
I’m doing okay. I’m happy. Sure, my life isn’t perfect. I still have problems and down moments. But if I could overcome all of that in a year… ONE year. I went from being the kid they wanted to change majors to the kid they wish would still be focusing on opera. I went from a fat ass to an average ass. I’m doing well academically at the U of I. Not just some random shitty school. A good ass school, and a music program that is well known.
So yes. I’m excited. And yes, I’m bragging. But, I feel good. And I’m happy. And I’m going to talk about it now because I’m sure something will come up that will take me off this high, but for right now. I’m going to enjoy it.