KcK chu - Child's Garden
Fandom: Kamichama Karin chu
Title: Child’s Garden
Rating: PG
Characters / Pairings: Shingen, Rika
Summary: She believes he is a fool. He knows that it is not mere admiration he feels for her. (And yet, they are both lost in something larger; that much is clear.)
Dis/claimer: This still happens to be fanfiction.
A/N: In which they talk hypothetical deaths, and just how important a life really is.
I really should stop allowing random questions/one-liners/etc be the driving force behind my writing. But I know I won’t because… I’m terrible at planning things. More title-stealing from a vocaloid song, but that's as far as connections actually go. (Apologies for the OOC; I really should find the energy to read chu at some point. And… reading this again, I have no idea as to what’s actually going on. I wonder if it’s a sign…)
Child’s Garden
The day had run like clockwork, as the rain seemed to fade away and the sun returned. Voices mixed and matched in the hallways - talking, always talking about one thing or another (silly little moments in their lives, because it belonged to them) - as students moved in a single wave, towards the gates.
As final goodbyes were called across the streets, the noise seemed to vanish, much like the rain earlier that day, and yet Shingen made no attempt to move from his seat. Bag in lap, pages sprawled across the desk, he watched as Rika walked across the room; past the board, one finger tapping the surface of each desk before she stopped before him.
Very little had gone in their favour lately, and he wondered if that was the reason why she had remained behind; Shingen himself had no real reason for his own actions, but the feeling of empty classrooms and corridors were almost calming, and so he spent time here.
When Rika’s voice cut through the silence, however, it was as if she had chosen to pick up a conversation he no longer remembered occurring;
“If I were to fall,” she spoke in a low voice, forcing him to lean closer, “would you try to catch me?”
Before Shingen could reply, she raised a hand. He blinked, uncomprehending, as Rika pulled back and crossed her arms. Her expression never changed, though, watching him carefully;
“Would you save me, at the cost of your own life?”
He knew, of course, how much she loathed impulsive answers; words that spilled from the heart, without thinking. Shingen leaned back on his seat, frowning as his mouth moved, repeating the question over as he tried to make sense of it.
but then, why would she be falling in the first place?
It was the first thought to come to mind, and Shingen could only ponder over it. While it was true that the question was purely hypothetical, it was an impossible factor he could not just ignore (but to question that was to question Rika herself), while she continued to watch his every move; each quirk of the lips, concentration on her words unshakable.
Eventually, Shingen shook his head; no, rather, he had to try and put it into perspective. Not try to make sense of each and every little detail, as if it mattered. Such a scenario would never occur, after all. More like, as long as it was within his power, he would do everything to prevent it from happening. And therein lay his answer, though he had known it from the start.
And while he was aware that Rika might believe he was still answering without thinking at all, he chose to focus on her question; what the words meant, even as he decided to ask for clarification.
“You falling…” he began slowly, “was it because someone pushed you, or was it something you did consciously?”
Was it the cause of a malicious act, or a want to end some unknown pain?
Rika raised her eyebrows at this. It was obvious that she had not expected him to ask such a thing - they were talking in hypothetical terms, as the sun sank slowly below the horizon, haphazard shadows thrown along the classroom floor - and a small part of him was hurt by the fact. Assuming could only give someone so much information, after all.
She did not seem to notice his expression as she spoke, though, words clipped; “Does that matter?”
Another pause, as he repeated the question under his breath (ignored the way she frowned at him). His first reaction was to nod, but Shingen stopped himself. Did the circumstances that caused the action matter to him, the one who had to make the decision? It did not take him long to realise the answer to that question.
“No, I guess it really doesn’t.” He smiled at her, certain in his answer, but could see that Rika did not agree with him.
“Then why would you-”
The frustration in her voice was clear, though Rika made no attempt to complete her question, allowing it to hang in the air. There was no particular need to, as Shingen already knew, and he could only look out the window, thinking (always thinking).
“It’s just…” he paused, wondered if what he was about to say was the right thing, but then realised that it made no difference, “If you had chosen to act by your own free will, I would still attempt to save you. As I see it, it wouldn’t matter if acting like that made you hate me for it.”
Silence, and though he did not turn to look at her, it was obvious that Rika could only struggle with his words; for her, his line of reasoning made no sense, and thus it was difficult for her to grasp what he had already figured out. Shingen reached out for the papers on his desk, straightening the pile before he slid it into his bag, waiting for her next words.
As the seconds dragged on, neither speaking, Shingen could only wonder if his answer really was that difficult to comprehend. He moved slowly, setting his bag on top of the desk as he watched Rika curiously.
Upon noticing his gaze, she sighed, arms falling to her side; “Why would you do something so selfless, especially if you knew the other person would hate you for it? Might have hated you before it, even?”
They were still talking hypothetically, right?
Shingen could only smile at this; a small, almost vague expression that faded at an instant. He had heard the question before - by a different person, of course, always someone else - and even now, there was only one answer he could give.
“I don’t know.”
For a second time during their conversation, Rika raised her eyebrows at his words. Perhaps, he thought, she had been expecting some kind of spiel about how special each individual was, how rare it was to be so selfless. But despite everything (despite first impressions and thinking you knew a person, simply because they were there) Shingen was, by no means, a fool.
A person could only know so much about another; something he was well and truly aware of.
“Are you saying,” Rika breathed, pronunciation clear, words unwavering, “that you act because it is the first thing to come to mind? Or is it merely a way to boost your own ego?”
Allowing himself a moment to lace his fingers together - tried to recall a simple child’s game, though it eluded him - Shingen tilted his head, “Personal gain? No, I don’t want that either. Or, not as much as knowing that someone is safe.”
“I don’t understand that.” There was a slight pause as Rika took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, “The person you helped might loathe you, hurt you without any remorse, and you would still move to save them?”
She was unable to keep her voice entirely in-check, as the last of her words rose in pitch and Shingen noticed that her hands were clenched, knuckles white. He watched her movements carefully, but she remained steadfast, and he could only meet her eyes.
The answer to her question; he had known it since the start, “Yes.”
“You’d be dead,” she said quietly, tone flat.
“If it kept you alive, I’d still do it.”
Rika turned away at this, movement abrupt as she stalked a couple of paces towards the door; “And what would happen if I were to die soon after that? You would not be there to save me.”
“Then at least I gave you a chance, no matter how brief.” He smiled, but there was no humour present. It was an unpleasant conversation they were having, after all, and they had known it from the start.
A part of him expected Rika to reply, something along the lines of Then you’re a fool, but all Shingen heard were footsteps as she left the classroom. There had not even been a dramatic slamming of the door, and he could only remain where he was a while longer.
He had the strangest feeling that they had strayed slightly from the topic, and wondered if that was why Rika had decided to end the conversation. Perhaps his answer hadn’t mattered at all, and it had been nothing more than a means to pass the time, as Shingen stood up and made the short walk to the window. There was a flash of dark material and hair as Rika turned a corner, back out of sight, and it was only then that he allowed himself a moment to breathe out (in frustration - relief? - he had no idea).
It was true that he did not have the entire story of what she and her brother were fighting for, but Shingen had been completely sincere in his words. He wanted to help them to the best of his ability, and while she continued to brush him away as a nuisance, Rika had to be aware that he was doing all he could.
Right?
“I wonder if it’s right to say that love makes us fools,” he said, as if discussing the weather with a classmate. His words were swallowed into the walls with no reply, and he smiled.
“Should probably remember that, actually. Write it down when I get home.”
Title: Child’s Garden
Rating: PG
Characters / Pairings: Shingen, Rika
Summary: She believes he is a fool. He knows that it is not mere admiration he feels for her. (And yet, they are both lost in something larger; that much is clear.)
Dis/claimer: This still happens to be fanfiction.
A/N: In which they talk hypothetical deaths, and just how important a life really is.
I really should stop allowing random questions/one-liners/etc be the driving force behind my writing. But I know I won’t because… I’m terrible at planning things. More title-stealing from a vocaloid song, but that's as far as connections actually go. (Apologies for the OOC; I really should find the energy to read chu at some point. And… reading this again, I have no idea as to what’s actually going on. I wonder if it’s a sign…)
Child’s Garden
The day had run like clockwork, as the rain seemed to fade away and the sun returned. Voices mixed and matched in the hallways - talking, always talking about one thing or another (silly little moments in their lives, because it belonged to them) - as students moved in a single wave, towards the gates.
As final goodbyes were called across the streets, the noise seemed to vanish, much like the rain earlier that day, and yet Shingen made no attempt to move from his seat. Bag in lap, pages sprawled across the desk, he watched as Rika walked across the room; past the board, one finger tapping the surface of each desk before she stopped before him.
Very little had gone in their favour lately, and he wondered if that was the reason why she had remained behind; Shingen himself had no real reason for his own actions, but the feeling of empty classrooms and corridors were almost calming, and so he spent time here.
When Rika’s voice cut through the silence, however, it was as if she had chosen to pick up a conversation he no longer remembered occurring;
“If I were to fall,” she spoke in a low voice, forcing him to lean closer, “would you try to catch me?”
Before Shingen could reply, she raised a hand. He blinked, uncomprehending, as Rika pulled back and crossed her arms. Her expression never changed, though, watching him carefully;
“Would you save me, at the cost of your own life?”
He knew, of course, how much she loathed impulsive answers; words that spilled from the heart, without thinking. Shingen leaned back on his seat, frowning as his mouth moved, repeating the question over as he tried to make sense of it.
but then, why would she be falling in the first place?
It was the first thought to come to mind, and Shingen could only ponder over it. While it was true that the question was purely hypothetical, it was an impossible factor he could not just ignore (but to question that was to question Rika herself), while she continued to watch his every move; each quirk of the lips, concentration on her words unshakable.
Eventually, Shingen shook his head; no, rather, he had to try and put it into perspective. Not try to make sense of each and every little detail, as if it mattered. Such a scenario would never occur, after all. More like, as long as it was within his power, he would do everything to prevent it from happening. And therein lay his answer, though he had known it from the start.
And while he was aware that Rika might believe he was still answering without thinking at all, he chose to focus on her question; what the words meant, even as he decided to ask for clarification.
“You falling…” he began slowly, “was it because someone pushed you, or was it something you did consciously?”
Was it the cause of a malicious act, or a want to end some unknown pain?
Rika raised her eyebrows at this. It was obvious that she had not expected him to ask such a thing - they were talking in hypothetical terms, as the sun sank slowly below the horizon, haphazard shadows thrown along the classroom floor - and a small part of him was hurt by the fact. Assuming could only give someone so much information, after all.
She did not seem to notice his expression as she spoke, though, words clipped; “Does that matter?”
Another pause, as he repeated the question under his breath (ignored the way she frowned at him). His first reaction was to nod, but Shingen stopped himself. Did the circumstances that caused the action matter to him, the one who had to make the decision? It did not take him long to realise the answer to that question.
“No, I guess it really doesn’t.” He smiled at her, certain in his answer, but could see that Rika did not agree with him.
“Then why would you-”
The frustration in her voice was clear, though Rika made no attempt to complete her question, allowing it to hang in the air. There was no particular need to, as Shingen already knew, and he could only look out the window, thinking (always thinking).
“It’s just…” he paused, wondered if what he was about to say was the right thing, but then realised that it made no difference, “If you had chosen to act by your own free will, I would still attempt to save you. As I see it, it wouldn’t matter if acting like that made you hate me for it.”
Silence, and though he did not turn to look at her, it was obvious that Rika could only struggle with his words; for her, his line of reasoning made no sense, and thus it was difficult for her to grasp what he had already figured out. Shingen reached out for the papers on his desk, straightening the pile before he slid it into his bag, waiting for her next words.
As the seconds dragged on, neither speaking, Shingen could only wonder if his answer really was that difficult to comprehend. He moved slowly, setting his bag on top of the desk as he watched Rika curiously.
Upon noticing his gaze, she sighed, arms falling to her side; “Why would you do something so selfless, especially if you knew the other person would hate you for it? Might have hated you before it, even?”
They were still talking hypothetically, right?
Shingen could only smile at this; a small, almost vague expression that faded at an instant. He had heard the question before - by a different person, of course, always someone else - and even now, there was only one answer he could give.
“I don’t know.”
For a second time during their conversation, Rika raised her eyebrows at his words. Perhaps, he thought, she had been expecting some kind of spiel about how special each individual was, how rare it was to be so selfless. But despite everything (despite first impressions and thinking you knew a person, simply because they were there) Shingen was, by no means, a fool.
A person could only know so much about another; something he was well and truly aware of.
“Are you saying,” Rika breathed, pronunciation clear, words unwavering, “that you act because it is the first thing to come to mind? Or is it merely a way to boost your own ego?”
Allowing himself a moment to lace his fingers together - tried to recall a simple child’s game, though it eluded him - Shingen tilted his head, “Personal gain? No, I don’t want that either. Or, not as much as knowing that someone is safe.”
“I don’t understand that.” There was a slight pause as Rika took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, “The person you helped might loathe you, hurt you without any remorse, and you would still move to save them?”
She was unable to keep her voice entirely in-check, as the last of her words rose in pitch and Shingen noticed that her hands were clenched, knuckles white. He watched her movements carefully, but she remained steadfast, and he could only meet her eyes.
The answer to her question; he had known it since the start, “Yes.”
“You’d be dead,” she said quietly, tone flat.
“If it kept you alive, I’d still do it.”
Rika turned away at this, movement abrupt as she stalked a couple of paces towards the door; “And what would happen if I were to die soon after that? You would not be there to save me.”
“Then at least I gave you a chance, no matter how brief.” He smiled, but there was no humour present. It was an unpleasant conversation they were having, after all, and they had known it from the start.
A part of him expected Rika to reply, something along the lines of Then you’re a fool, but all Shingen heard were footsteps as she left the classroom. There had not even been a dramatic slamming of the door, and he could only remain where he was a while longer.
He had the strangest feeling that they had strayed slightly from the topic, and wondered if that was why Rika had decided to end the conversation. Perhaps his answer hadn’t mattered at all, and it had been nothing more than a means to pass the time, as Shingen stood up and made the short walk to the window. There was a flash of dark material and hair as Rika turned a corner, back out of sight, and it was only then that he allowed himself a moment to breathe out (in frustration - relief? - he had no idea).
It was true that he did not have the entire story of what she and her brother were fighting for, but Shingen had been completely sincere in his words. He wanted to help them to the best of his ability, and while she continued to brush him away as a nuisance, Rika had to be aware that he was doing all he could.
Right?
“I wonder if it’s right to say that love makes us fools,” he said, as if discussing the weather with a classmate. His words were swallowed into the walls with no reply, and he smiled.
“Should probably remember that, actually. Write it down when I get home.”