Weird Feelings
Okay, I sit here at work and very confused and empty feeling now. I'm having a chat with a buddy of mine on Bear411 who recently broke up with his bf due to a plethura of problems. The concern or issues that I'm having now is that I know my roommate is attracted to him and I know he is attracted to my roommate. The problem is, as many of you know, I to, have feelings for my roommate. This situation really just hit home. We have yet to have the "conflict" of bringing men home, dating, etc. with the two of us. As of July 4th, Tony commented that he wasn't ready to date. I know he is young and needs to play. But, it is hard now to separate heart from brain. Yes, I have my reservations with Tony. I think at least we'll be very good friends, but he does have alot of growing up to do. I know he needs to date, I know he needs to play. But, I'm at the point in my life that I'd like to settle down and to find a special someone. There are many signs that this could be him, but again I'm not sure where his thoughts are. He may talk alot of talk online but won't act. This guy on Bear411 is a mutual acquaintance of ours. I'm not sure if Tony is better friends with him or not.
So, Gosh I can't believe this just hit so hard. I know Tony will date other men, or at least I think he should really to figure out what he wants. Many people have warned me at going after someone who is "wet behind the ears." But, gosh I just don't know. I know it will happen when it happens with whomever it happens with. I know I can't take this to heart. I know I can't worry about this. I know I have to keep moving forward with improving myself.
I also know that I do have feelings or interest in other people. Several of whom I've been chatting with for a VERY long time on Bear411 and/or yahoo. I have just not had the opportunity to meet them yet. I really think that I like the companionship of the roomate more than anything. Tony and I have never had sex, some oral, but never sex. So who knows.
Comment on my fucked up way of thinking if you want! I'll be vetting over this for a while. I will have to begin to pull back and let him do more chasing to me if he cares to do anything. Gosh, this is just confusing! LOL
Okay, back to work!
So, Gosh I can't believe this just hit so hard. I know Tony will date other men, or at least I think he should really to figure out what he wants. Many people have warned me at going after someone who is "wet behind the ears." But, gosh I just don't know. I know it will happen when it happens with whomever it happens with. I know I can't take this to heart. I know I can't worry about this. I know I have to keep moving forward with improving myself.
I also know that I do have feelings or interest in other people. Several of whom I've been chatting with for a VERY long time on Bear411 and/or yahoo. I have just not had the opportunity to meet them yet. I really think that I like the companionship of the roomate more than anything. Tony and I have never had sex, some oral, but never sex. So who knows.
Comment on my fucked up way of thinking if you want! I'll be vetting over this for a while. I will have to begin to pull back and let him do more chasing to me if he cares to do anything. Gosh, this is just confusing! LOL
Okay, back to work!