Reflections
It is now midnight and I think I wrote my last entry about this same time yesterday. Today has been a good day. I feel somewhat productive. I am on an okay start to the new diet. I had one to many heath klondike bars though. Oh well!! I only had two today. I've cut way down on the soda as well. I can't stop cold turkey due to withdrawl symptoms. But, as a buddy of mine and I were talking, he asked me why I was holding back on a particular interest I have in a person.
Well, the only logical answer I had was, I don't want to ruin what we already have. I don't want to push him, I can't force anything, I am also scared myself. I do have a strong feeling that things could work out between us. People already say we are a married couple w/o the sex. But as him and I talked about two weeks ago, he just isn't ready. He came out to his parents in March, moved away from home in March, is not completely out to his family yet, etc.He wants to gain some more independence first. Take a year or two to do that. The confusing things are this: 1) I am a cuddle whore. I love to cuddle. I love to wrap my arms around him and just cuddle. I love to rub his back, his butt, etc. He has back problems and really likes this. I love to rub his feet. hell he lets me. I have nibbled on his neck and ear a bit while holding him and he does go and reach for my hand and just holds it tight. I'd say he is interested. But, who knows.. 2) He has never dated before and I know the logical thing is for him to just casually date and such to finally figure out what he wants. But on the other hand, I can see us skipping the "dating process" and just going into partnership aspect. Which sounds good to me :-) 4) I know he has enough play under his belt. More than me I think and I'm 4 years older.
I have asked him on several occassion if it bugs him and be repeatedly will say no. He would tell me that if it is going to far, he'll say something. So who knows. I know I can't force anything, I know that I haven't always been in a position to date.
Okay so any insight is great. Oh, btw, he doesn't seem to be going out with anyone. Doesn't seem to be having sex with anyoen. So not sure.
Well comment if you weill and chat with you then.
Well, the only logical answer I had was, I don't want to ruin what we already have. I don't want to push him, I can't force anything, I am also scared myself. I do have a strong feeling that things could work out between us. People already say we are a married couple w/o the sex. But as him and I talked about two weeks ago, he just isn't ready. He came out to his parents in March, moved away from home in March, is not completely out to his family yet, etc.He wants to gain some more independence first. Take a year or two to do that. The confusing things are this: 1) I am a cuddle whore. I love to cuddle. I love to wrap my arms around him and just cuddle. I love to rub his back, his butt, etc. He has back problems and really likes this. I love to rub his feet. hell he lets me. I have nibbled on his neck and ear a bit while holding him and he does go and reach for my hand and just holds it tight. I'd say he is interested. But, who knows.. 2) He has never dated before and I know the logical thing is for him to just casually date and such to finally figure out what he wants. But on the other hand, I can see us skipping the "dating process" and just going into partnership aspect. Which sounds good to me :-) 4) I know he has enough play under his belt. More than me I think and I'm 4 years older.
I have asked him on several occassion if it bugs him and be repeatedly will say no. He would tell me that if it is going to far, he'll say something. So who knows. I know I can't force anything, I know that I haven't always been in a position to date.
Okay so any insight is great. Oh, btw, he doesn't seem to be going out with anyone. Doesn't seem to be having sex with anyoen. So not sure.
Well comment if you weill and chat with you then.