In Conclusion
I have come to the conclusion that when push comes to shove, I really just want people to get along. I can see where two or five or eight people in a group when that group is having disagreements and I just kind of want them to smoothe it over without a lot of drama and flash. I don't know whether it's shallow or profound in me - but I really just want people to get along. There are times that nobody is going to be happy with a situation and poking it with pins and going, yeah but - it's just not going to change anything.
One person is going to be hurt by something another person does because of whatever. It really doesn't matter what the whatever is, if you're hurt by that action, no matter what the justification may or may not be, you're hurt by it.
I think too, at some point we have to take responsibility for our own emotions. I.E. Is this worth letting myself be hurt? Why am I hurt? What does this say about me? Rather than focus on what the other party is doing, cause you aren't going to change that other person anyway - what's going on in you?
The truth of the matter is, very rarely are both parties in a situation going to be happy. Unless you have a lucky and unique moment where you completely agree without discussion - life is just a series of negotiations. It's a series of internal decisions of what we're willing to give in order to get whatever it is we think we need or want. I think when you get to a place where at least one if not both people are giving more than they feel comfortable with, that's the point you have to make the often painful and unhappy decision to not try to work in tandem with that person.
A lot of times it seems to me like what's happening is very childish. I.E, "Well, I wanted to do this and at the time I didn't think about what you might think about it." "Well, I don't want you to do that because of this."
In a sense, isn't it really kind of a power struggle? Who is going to be the boss?
We can't put people in the cages of what we want them to do or be and alternately we can't allow other people to do that to us.
I dunno. It seems like maybe it'd be nice if we could all kind of accept from the get go, that we're all just trying our best and that if something happens that hurts us, we could maybe take as a basic assumption that that person is just doing their best in their world which is always half a jog from ours. We all live in our own little bubbles of experiences and those experiences make us who we are. The bubbles bump into each other, touch each other, connect with each other, but still, they are all individual bubbles in the giant soapsud of life.
Okay, rambling, not making any sense. I'm just sad that people I care about are sad. I'll leave it at that.
One person is going to be hurt by something another person does because of whatever. It really doesn't matter what the whatever is, if you're hurt by that action, no matter what the justification may or may not be, you're hurt by it.
I think too, at some point we have to take responsibility for our own emotions. I.E. Is this worth letting myself be hurt? Why am I hurt? What does this say about me? Rather than focus on what the other party is doing, cause you aren't going to change that other person anyway - what's going on in you?
The truth of the matter is, very rarely are both parties in a situation going to be happy. Unless you have a lucky and unique moment where you completely agree without discussion - life is just a series of negotiations. It's a series of internal decisions of what we're willing to give in order to get whatever it is we think we need or want. I think when you get to a place where at least one if not both people are giving more than they feel comfortable with, that's the point you have to make the often painful and unhappy decision to not try to work in tandem with that person.
A lot of times it seems to me like what's happening is very childish. I.E, "Well, I wanted to do this and at the time I didn't think about what you might think about it." "Well, I don't want you to do that because of this."
In a sense, isn't it really kind of a power struggle? Who is going to be the boss?
We can't put people in the cages of what we want them to do or be and alternately we can't allow other people to do that to us.
I dunno. It seems like maybe it'd be nice if we could all kind of accept from the get go, that we're all just trying our best and that if something happens that hurts us, we could maybe take as a basic assumption that that person is just doing their best in their world which is always half a jog from ours. We all live in our own little bubbles of experiences and those experiences make us who we are. The bubbles bump into each other, touch each other, connect with each other, but still, they are all individual bubbles in the giant soapsud of life.
Okay, rambling, not making any sense. I'm just sad that people I care about are sad. I'll leave it at that.