(no subject)
Professor Brandt just asked me if I wanted to perform for a special concert on mother's day. I really do want to, but I feel bad because I told my mom that there was a chance I might be home for mother's day. I'm sure she'd understand, and she'd be so happy for me that I have this opportunity...but...I dunno. I just feel bad that I got her excited about it.
I'm pretty jealous of all of my friends who are so close to being done with school.
I'm definitely enjoying this semester, but I could use a break. Opera itself isn't stressful, but combined with trying to juggle my other classes, plus trying to get some sleep, plus feeling emotionally upset over the boy situation...things are a little too overwhelming for me right now. I have an entire month left of school...most of that month will be spent without any opera rehearsals, which will be good for my academic performance, but not for my overall happiness. I'm bracing myself for a terrible ache once Pirates closes this weekend. It might give me too much time to think about Josh. I have to be careful with that...
When I'm distracted by success, I don't think about him, and I feel great. But when I'm feeling down on myself, that's when I start doing the clingy thing. He says that he doesn't mind at all, and that he loves talking to me...but I don't want to scare him away. I can't lose him as my friend.
I wonder if in the future, he will feel any regret that nothing ever happened with us. It's hard for me to believe that he wouldn't. We have a great friendship, but...the idea of letting potential sit around without ever fulfilling it really bothers me.
I'm pretty jealous of all of my friends who are so close to being done with school.
I'm definitely enjoying this semester, but I could use a break. Opera itself isn't stressful, but combined with trying to juggle my other classes, plus trying to get some sleep, plus feeling emotionally upset over the boy situation...things are a little too overwhelming for me right now. I have an entire month left of school...most of that month will be spent without any opera rehearsals, which will be good for my academic performance, but not for my overall happiness. I'm bracing myself for a terrible ache once Pirates closes this weekend. It might give me too much time to think about Josh. I have to be careful with that...
When I'm distracted by success, I don't think about him, and I feel great. But when I'm feeling down on myself, that's when I start doing the clingy thing. He says that he doesn't mind at all, and that he loves talking to me...but I don't want to scare him away. I can't lose him as my friend.
I wonder if in the future, he will feel any regret that nothing ever happened with us. It's hard for me to believe that he wouldn't. We have a great friendship, but...the idea of letting potential sit around without ever fulfilling it really bothers me.