(no subject)
I am ashamed to even post this but its my third day out of the hospital and I've been doing really good since I can't purge because of all the trauma to my torso b/c of the car accident (broken ribs, punctured lung, ruptured spleen) Anyways, something came over me yesterday that I haven't felt since the accident and it was that intense nagging of your brain to binge and purge, it takes over everything and its all I could think about. It happened, what I've tried so hard to rid myself of, almost one month with my bulimia gone.( I know it can never really be gone) I had a bowl of special k, the a cookie, and then an english muffin. I couldn't believe that I let this happen. I knew it would be nearly impossible and incredibly dangerous to purge in my condition, I didn't know how it would affect my insides, my lung was collapsed and my spleen was bleeding for crying out loud. WHY would I do this to myself? I just kept thinking of how I'm risking my life to rid myself of 395 calories. I got everything up and I swear that I won't do it again.
But that was yesterday and today all I had a was half a lite yogurt, since I'm staying with my mom and she knows my past, I know she worries about me and I can appreciate that, so for her sake I sat down with her and engorged my fat body with 60 cals of yogurt. She kept saying "Let me make you something for breakfast' and twice today she has said how skinny I've gotten. I use to be normal size but even I can tell i've lost weight. Today she mentioned the American Heart Associations 3 day diet (She's going through menopause so she wants to lose weight too I think the reason why she doesn't get on my case is because she knows what i'm going through) SO anyways shes starting the 3 day diet where you lose 10 pounds for real tomorrow. She's a nurse and a doctor he works with swears by it I didn't have the heart to tell her that the AHA actually put out a disclaimer saying that the diet is phony and not from them, but what the hell..10 pounds is 10 pounds! So that's everything so far
But that was yesterday and today all I had a was half a lite yogurt, since I'm staying with my mom and she knows my past, I know she worries about me and I can appreciate that, so for her sake I sat down with her and engorged my fat body with 60 cals of yogurt. She kept saying "Let me make you something for breakfast' and twice today she has said how skinny I've gotten. I use to be normal size but even I can tell i've lost weight. Today she mentioned the American Heart Associations 3 day diet (She's going through menopause so she wants to lose weight too I think the reason why she doesn't get on my case is because she knows what i'm going through) SO anyways shes starting the 3 day diet where you lose 10 pounds for real tomorrow. She's a nurse and a doctor he works with swears by it I didn't have the heart to tell her that the AHA actually put out a disclaimer saying that the diet is phony and not from them, but what the hell..10 pounds is 10 pounds! So that's everything so far