(no subject)
Okay, well today I finally got out of the hospial after being in there for over a month. I updated two weeks ago when i got to the computer room at the hospital. I truly think that this was a lfe changing experience for me. Since I have such horrible trauma to my chest and abdomen, its completely out of the question to binge/purge, which is good. Everyone that finds out what happened ( i got in a car accident on the highway and flipped my car 4 times and go thrown from the car and landed on the highway) can't believe I survived. I really think that my prayers have been answered and that I finally got rid of my bulimia, after almost 6 years. I have control back over my life and I'm focusing on my health. From being in the hospital i've lost a significant amount of weight just from waht happened and I really haven't had an appetite because of all the medication I have to take. Plus my body doesn't need much energy since I don't move much. But this experience has truly opened my eyes and i'm glad to be alive and i'm so greatful for little things like being able to go back to college in the fall and having such a good job where even the bosses come visit me at the hospital. I know this sounds stupid though but right before i got in the accident i was in the middle of a binge/purge and when I regained consciousness on the highway after the accident all I could think about is the food I had in my stomach and how I wouldn't be able to get rid of it now...isn't that horrible? and in the hospital i was so happy that i wasn't allowed to eat for 5 days, and even now I'm happy that I don't have an appetite because of the meds, isn't that awful, i feel so ashamed..i should be lucky i'm alive but rather i'm annoyed that i can't exercise for 6 weeks
xoxo d
xoxo d