are you there god? it's me, lilah.
september 17th, 2010
what a stupid title.
taking a break from research. well. i am. arthur is still going. he's cute when he works--when he's silent. otherwise, his words tend to be filled with judgement. which is not surprising, but there you go. i feel like we're in one of those serious-cop, silly-cop movies that have to get along to solve the crime. i think arthur is just from a different world than i am--his dinner parties were much more serious than mine, i think. but we do have that in common. we had dinner parties as children.
apparently i have a job in germany. ): i wanted to go home. but i can't put down an opportunity for work, now that i'm working again. maybe i should just email my mom about it. but that is so unsafe. i'll have to tell her face to face i guess. eventually. not looking forward to the crushing disownment, but i'll live. they won't disown me. just cut me off financially forever and eternity. i can deal, i have plenty of money on my own. it's my dad i'm worried. he'll be so disappointed. i could in theory ruin their careers if i got caught.
anyway. i think people may be taking me seriously now. but i shouldn't jinx myself. i just need to keep heading forward and stop thinking about what people think. i'm not here to earn their respect, just a reputation. and then money. yeah! also, i do think this job is incredibly fun and interesting. i almost feel bad for people like arthur--he doesn't have fun with this job, from what i can tell. it's just work to him. at least that douchebag eli has some fun with the job. but he is still a completely douchebag asshole.
arthur is giving me that look that i should not be scribbling "notes" and enjoying my dinner (which is btw a hot pocket--no time to go out), as there is work to do. studying. memorizing. what a stick in the mud.
what a stupid title.
taking a break from research. well. i am. arthur is still going. he's cute when he works--when he's silent. otherwise, his words tend to be filled with judgement. which is not surprising, but there you go. i feel like we're in one of those serious-cop, silly-cop movies that have to get along to solve the crime. i think arthur is just from a different world than i am--his dinner parties were much more serious than mine, i think. but we do have that in common. we had dinner parties as children.
apparently i have a job in germany. ): i wanted to go home. but i can't put down an opportunity for work, now that i'm working again. maybe i should just email my mom about it. but that is so unsafe. i'll have to tell her face to face i guess. eventually. not looking forward to the crushing disownment, but i'll live. they won't disown me. just cut me off financially forever and eternity. i can deal, i have plenty of money on my own. it's my dad i'm worried. he'll be so disappointed. i could in theory ruin their careers if i got caught.
anyway. i think people may be taking me seriously now. but i shouldn't jinx myself. i just need to keep heading forward and stop thinking about what people think. i'm not here to earn their respect, just a reputation. and then money. yeah! also, i do think this job is incredibly fun and interesting. i almost feel bad for people like arthur--he doesn't have fun with this job, from what i can tell. it's just work to him. at least that douchebag eli has some fun with the job. but he is still a completely douchebag asshole.
arthur is giving me that look that i should not be scribbling "notes" and enjoying my dinner (which is btw a hot pocket--no time to go out), as there is work to do. studying. memorizing. what a stick in the mud.