(no subject)
So it seems like everything is coming very fast. Prom. I have no date. There is someone that I said I was going to go with n that he didn't know it yet...but NOTHING is happening with that because I'm stupid. I need to fill out scholarships n shit. Play is pretty much over except for performance week. Ahhh I just don't know what to do.
My head is killing me because I'm sick. State was bullshit. I'm not going to lie, I didn't think Reavis deserved to win. I'm not mad that we didn't win, but I know we could have if the judges watched us. Because the stuff they wrote on the critiques just didn't make sense. N it's weird how high school students can understand the play, but judges can't? They were just looking for things to mark us off for because we went first. N then by the time the 3rd or 4th came around, their ears adjusted to the sound...n they just watched. It's kind of upsetting-no it's very upsetting that they didn't watch us. If we had any other time...we would have won. HA.
Anywho. I'm getting mad at people for the same bullshit as before. Like Nikki, Rachel, n Antonio...i feel like i can't hang out with them anymore because they make me feel like crap..like i don't belong. It's always them three. Everytime. It just makes me mad because I've put up with it for so long.
I'm especially mad at myself. I need to grow up. Seriously. I don't say things. Like when I have a problem with someone, i just ignore it. Instead of actually doing something about it. And this is causing a problem because when I finally do say something people just think I'm a bitch. Ughhhh. I need to step out of this shell. I dont know how i've done it but i've closed myself off again. I'm so over high school and all this bullshit, but I'm scared to go to college because I'm scared to grow up. I'm scared of losing touch with people. And most of all I'm scared that I'm going to have to deal with all this shit again when I go to college.
And it seems like everyone has a best friend but me:
Lauren has Missy
Niamh has Vivian
Brenda has Bea
Lillian has Karolina
Rachel has Nikki
everyone has that one best friend they can turn to...but i don't? and i never realized it until claire o'brien said that she no longer had sarah.
What to do? What to do?
Grow up, Dee. And get over yourself. Seriously.
My head is killing me because I'm sick. State was bullshit. I'm not going to lie, I didn't think Reavis deserved to win. I'm not mad that we didn't win, but I know we could have if the judges watched us. Because the stuff they wrote on the critiques just didn't make sense. N it's weird how high school students can understand the play, but judges can't? They were just looking for things to mark us off for because we went first. N then by the time the 3rd or 4th came around, their ears adjusted to the sound...n they just watched. It's kind of upsetting-no it's very upsetting that they didn't watch us. If we had any other time...we would have won. HA.
Anywho. I'm getting mad at people for the same bullshit as before. Like Nikki, Rachel, n Antonio...i feel like i can't hang out with them anymore because they make me feel like crap..like i don't belong. It's always them three. Everytime. It just makes me mad because I've put up with it for so long.
I'm especially mad at myself. I need to grow up. Seriously. I don't say things. Like when I have a problem with someone, i just ignore it. Instead of actually doing something about it. And this is causing a problem because when I finally do say something people just think I'm a bitch. Ughhhh. I need to step out of this shell. I dont know how i've done it but i've closed myself off again. I'm so over high school and all this bullshit, but I'm scared to go to college because I'm scared to grow up. I'm scared of losing touch with people. And most of all I'm scared that I'm going to have to deal with all this shit again when I go to college.
And it seems like everyone has a best friend but me:
Lauren has Missy
Niamh has Vivian
Brenda has Bea
Lillian has Karolina
Rachel has Nikki
everyone has that one best friend they can turn to...but i don't? and i never realized it until claire o'brien said that she no longer had sarah.
What to do? What to do?
Grow up, Dee. And get over yourself. Seriously.