people are dumb, I hate people

[dekoys_bitch]

hmm, I think things are weird now, I have never thought so much about killing myself...not in a long time, something needs to change. Something is missing in my life and I can't put my finger on it. I think above all..friendship is the biggest thing. I don't think I have any real friends, I don't feel respected by ANYone that I hangout with. Julie threw my cd at our gerbal yesterday, the cd is now broken. hmm what else, she colored on my Volcom hoodie, the one Carol bought me, just a little thing on the sleave so oh well..she says it wasn't her, that she doesn't know who did it so I don't really care..it still happend..ok well that is not what I'm complaining about, not Julie..not about something so stupid. I just feel like I will never amount to anything. I will never be good enough for anything or anyone. And no matter how hard I try to do whats right I will never be more then some stupid, ugly, lonely, hopeless, never go anywhere, never amount to anything little immature girl. I lost my childhood, I almost feel like I never got one. No one I know wants to do anything besides smoke weed and have sex and go to parties.

I actually went to a party a couple weeks ago, it was all the same people that used to party before..it's like they haven't done anything with there life, they are just the same lame boring people who get drunk every weekend, I don't want to be like that. So alright, it's fun for a little while, but damn. I got fired from my job today, I knew I was going to before I even went in, my manager hated me, with a passion. not for any good reason though. Mreh, I'm done, I'll complain more later