"Did you guys ever WATCH the show?"
... it's a quote from Galaxy Quest. And I think it's applicable.
I'm beginning to notice a pattern:
1) SG1 travels to new planet, to find a new weapon, discover some new information, or something else cool.
2) SG1 gets to new planet, and things immediately start going badly. Very badly.
3) SG1 panics, and tries to figure out a way out of the crisis.
4) Having solved the crisis, SG1 celebrates and returns home, completely forgetting that they achieved absolutely none of their original aims.
This seems to happen pretty much every episode.
Like Bloodlines.
Their original aim is to stop Rya'c from getting his own personal symbiote. This quickly morphs into a quest to stop Rya'c from dying horribly. How can they stop him dying? By getting him a symbiote! What a genius idea!
...and they all clap each other on the backs, say "Well done! Good job, everyone," and go home again.
Not entirely the most annoying part of the episode.
They're returning to Teal'c's home planet, after all. A planet where he pulled off a truly spectacular escape plan, mostly by killing off half his co-workers. And when they get back to his house, they discover that the surviving co-workers have burned it to the ground.
And they're surprised by this?
Teal'c's wife is also remarkably stupid.
After all, she is living in an area of the planet inhabited only by outcasts. A place you only end up living if you're a traitor, or someone else in your family is.
And she moved to this area (with her son) straight after a whole bunch of prisoners escaped and Teal'c disappeared.
And she's told her son that Teal'c died. Because she'd rather not break the news that his father is a traitor.
...don't you think he might maybe figure it out? Just possibly?
Finally, we have the fact that Daniel picks out one snake baby for study, and then kills off the rest of them.
This is where my Galaxy Quest quote starts being applicable. After all, anyone who's watched any sci-fi ever knows exactly what's coming next. The moment he destroyed the Baby Repository, I knew perfectly well that something would stop them from getting their one-and-only sample back to Earth. And indeed it did.
I realise that Daniel doesn't know he's in a sci-fi show, but really - take backup you moron! Even if you manage to keep them both intact on your way back to Earth, you could always... um... use the second as a comparison? Look for common traits? Or something?
This concludes my bitchiness with Bloodlines, except to comment that I prefer Teal'c when he's all stoic and literal, rather than emotional-and-deep Teal'c.
Moving on...
I have very few complaints about Fire And Water, mostly because it was pretty boring.
I think they were trying to create dramatic tension by announcing Daniel's death, but given that we're only halfway through the season and he's still in the opening credits, I wasn't all that stunned at the Big Revelation that he was, in fact, alive.
One quick point:
Alien Guy accuses Daniel of being in league with the Goa'uld. And Daniel keeps denying it for ages before understanding the problem.
But, given that this accusation seems to come up approximately every second episode, and is always for exactly the same reason, don't you think the "you're walking around with a Jaffa" thing might have occurred to Daniel slightly earlier?
(Sidenote: I cannot type the word "Jaffa" without grinning. I'm sure whichever American writer invented the term thought it sounded cool and exotic, but in Australia, it's a type of lolly.)
We now come to Hathor.
My main issue with this show tends to be how stupidly the characters end up behaving. In this episode, the honour goes to Sam Carter, and Hathor.
I can deal with Sam trying to tell Jack how he must be under some sort of spell that's making him idolise Hathor - even though he's under a spell, and therefore probably won't believe that Hathor has done anything that's making him idolise her.
What I find less believable is the scene where Hathor picks up the newly immune-deficient Jack, and tosses him into a pool of baby snakes so that he can become a Jaffa. And Sam just sits there and watches. With a fully loaded machine gun.
Hathor, on the other hand, deserves everything she gets for keeping all the women alive. After all - she doesn't need them. She can't control them. And all the men are so very infatuated with her that they're willing to kill anyone at a moment's notice. So... why doesn't she get the men to kill off the women after their first assault?
...instead, she just locks them in a little room, ready to escape the moment they flirt with their captors. And I sit there grinding my teeth.
I did kind of enjoy the fact that she's the goddess of "sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll"...
By the way, is it just me or do love-spell-creating women in sci-fi shows always work by using swirly purple stuff? It's always purple. Weird.
Singularity was fun. I seem to have a lot of affection for episodes where entire planets get killed off.
Once again, the SG1 team show their brilliant ability to spread infectious diseases. This time, the doctor specifically tells Sam she should be okay, as long as she doesn't touch the little girl. And, two minutes later, the little girl runs up, and Sam gives her a big hug. So... apparently diseases are only infectious if you're in the medical area wearing cool face-masks. Once you're dressed normally, you cannot be harmed.
Jack O'Neill also embraces this philosophy. They're spent ages walking around on the planet in disease-preventy suits (which at least is an improvement over The Broca Divide), and then they're standing in the main building, waiting for the eclipse to happen so that they can photograph it. And he's dressed normally again. And they want to use the big telescope, so they open up the ceiling, and he doesn't seem concerned at all...
Obviously Sam Carter has watched no sci-fi at all. Otherwise, the moment the little girl introduces herself as Cassandra, Sam would know that she is Tragically Doomed and will probably die before the episode ends.
And finally we have Cor-Ai.
I have learned to make peace with the fact that all humans have fluent English programmed into their DNA.
However, when they're speaking fluent English, and Daniel starts making fascinated comments about the origins of their words and Latin derivations of stuff, I am once again left staring at my television in bewilderment.
In this episode, the SG1 team behave in a relatively non-stupid manner. The same cannot be said for the planet's natives.
Apparently, whenever the Stargate activates, they all run and hide before the Goa'uld arrive. They need to do this, because the Goa'uld have far superior weapons, and the natives have no chance of resisting them.
...we discover this fact shortly after the team arrives, and is immediately confronted by a group of natives carrying said inferior weapons, and trying to take them on. Even though they keep mentioning that their only defense is hiding.
The natives then decide that SG1 are friendly - just because they say they are.
And even though they have Teal'c with them.
And even after they decide that Teal'c is a murderer and must be executed, they still think the rest of the SG1 bunch are obviously fine, upstanding people. Even though Jack keeps on pointing his gun at them and yelling that he's going to attack unless they let Teal'c go.
Then they put Teal'c in a cave, escort the SG1 people in to talk to him (along with all their guns), and leave them all alone. Given that the team immediately starts discussing how they're going to break Teal'c out by using lots of firepower, this might not have been the wisest plan.
Of course, SG1 try to get in on the stupidity too - by refusing all legal counsel and insisting they'll handle Teal'c's trial by themselves, despite having no knowledge of the law. But that's a minor matter.
More importantly, the natives run and hide every time the Stargate begins to activate. And by the time it finishes activating, they're already in their caves. This is a central plot point throughout the entire episode.
So... can someone please explain to me how the Jaffa managed to "cut off their escape routes" before the natives had left the town?
Anyone?
So, yeah. This show is still annoying me. Horribly.
Unfortunately, it's so incredibly addictive, and so incredibly entertaining, that I feel compelled to keep watching anyway...
I'm beginning to notice a pattern:
1) SG1 travels to new planet, to find a new weapon, discover some new information, or something else cool.
2) SG1 gets to new planet, and things immediately start going badly. Very badly.
3) SG1 panics, and tries to figure out a way out of the crisis.
4) Having solved the crisis, SG1 celebrates and returns home, completely forgetting that they achieved absolutely none of their original aims.
This seems to happen pretty much every episode.
Like Bloodlines.
Their original aim is to stop Rya'c from getting his own personal symbiote. This quickly morphs into a quest to stop Rya'c from dying horribly. How can they stop him dying? By getting him a symbiote! What a genius idea!
...and they all clap each other on the backs, say "Well done! Good job, everyone," and go home again.
Not entirely the most annoying part of the episode.
They're returning to Teal'c's home planet, after all. A planet where he pulled off a truly spectacular escape plan, mostly by killing off half his co-workers. And when they get back to his house, they discover that the surviving co-workers have burned it to the ground.
And they're surprised by this?
Teal'c's wife is also remarkably stupid.
After all, she is living in an area of the planet inhabited only by outcasts. A place you only end up living if you're a traitor, or someone else in your family is.
And she moved to this area (with her son) straight after a whole bunch of prisoners escaped and Teal'c disappeared.
And she's told her son that Teal'c died. Because she'd rather not break the news that his father is a traitor.
...don't you think he might maybe figure it out? Just possibly?
Finally, we have the fact that Daniel picks out one snake baby for study, and then kills off the rest of them.
This is where my Galaxy Quest quote starts being applicable. After all, anyone who's watched any sci-fi ever knows exactly what's coming next. The moment he destroyed the Baby Repository, I knew perfectly well that something would stop them from getting their one-and-only sample back to Earth. And indeed it did.
I realise that Daniel doesn't know he's in a sci-fi show, but really - take backup you moron! Even if you manage to keep them both intact on your way back to Earth, you could always... um... use the second as a comparison? Look for common traits? Or something?
This concludes my bitchiness with Bloodlines, except to comment that I prefer Teal'c when he's all stoic and literal, rather than emotional-and-deep Teal'c.
Moving on...
I have very few complaints about Fire And Water, mostly because it was pretty boring.
I think they were trying to create dramatic tension by announcing Daniel's death, but given that we're only halfway through the season and he's still in the opening credits, I wasn't all that stunned at the Big Revelation that he was, in fact, alive.
One quick point:
Alien Guy accuses Daniel of being in league with the Goa'uld. And Daniel keeps denying it for ages before understanding the problem.
But, given that this accusation seems to come up approximately every second episode, and is always for exactly the same reason, don't you think the "you're walking around with a Jaffa" thing might have occurred to Daniel slightly earlier?
(Sidenote: I cannot type the word "Jaffa" without grinning. I'm sure whichever American writer invented the term thought it sounded cool and exotic, but in Australia, it's a type of lolly.)
We now come to Hathor.
My main issue with this show tends to be how stupidly the characters end up behaving. In this episode, the honour goes to Sam Carter, and Hathor.
I can deal with Sam trying to tell Jack how he must be under some sort of spell that's making him idolise Hathor - even though he's under a spell, and therefore probably won't believe that Hathor has done anything that's making him idolise her.
What I find less believable is the scene where Hathor picks up the newly immune-deficient Jack, and tosses him into a pool of baby snakes so that he can become a Jaffa. And Sam just sits there and watches. With a fully loaded machine gun.
Hathor, on the other hand, deserves everything she gets for keeping all the women alive. After all - she doesn't need them. She can't control them. And all the men are so very infatuated with her that they're willing to kill anyone at a moment's notice. So... why doesn't she get the men to kill off the women after their first assault?
...instead, she just locks them in a little room, ready to escape the moment they flirt with their captors. And I sit there grinding my teeth.
I did kind of enjoy the fact that she's the goddess of "sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll"...
By the way, is it just me or do love-spell-creating women in sci-fi shows always work by using swirly purple stuff? It's always purple. Weird.
Singularity was fun. I seem to have a lot of affection for episodes where entire planets get killed off.
Once again, the SG1 team show their brilliant ability to spread infectious diseases. This time, the doctor specifically tells Sam she should be okay, as long as she doesn't touch the little girl. And, two minutes later, the little girl runs up, and Sam gives her a big hug. So... apparently diseases are only infectious if you're in the medical area wearing cool face-masks. Once you're dressed normally, you cannot be harmed.
Jack O'Neill also embraces this philosophy. They're spent ages walking around on the planet in disease-preventy suits (which at least is an improvement over The Broca Divide), and then they're standing in the main building, waiting for the eclipse to happen so that they can photograph it. And he's dressed normally again. And they want to use the big telescope, so they open up the ceiling, and he doesn't seem concerned at all...
Obviously Sam Carter has watched no sci-fi at all. Otherwise, the moment the little girl introduces herself as Cassandra, Sam would know that she is Tragically Doomed and will probably die before the episode ends.
And finally we have Cor-Ai.
I have learned to make peace with the fact that all humans have fluent English programmed into their DNA.
However, when they're speaking fluent English, and Daniel starts making fascinated comments about the origins of their words and Latin derivations of stuff, I am once again left staring at my television in bewilderment.
In this episode, the SG1 team behave in a relatively non-stupid manner. The same cannot be said for the planet's natives.
Apparently, whenever the Stargate activates, they all run and hide before the Goa'uld arrive. They need to do this, because the Goa'uld have far superior weapons, and the natives have no chance of resisting them.
...we discover this fact shortly after the team arrives, and is immediately confronted by a group of natives carrying said inferior weapons, and trying to take them on. Even though they keep mentioning that their only defense is hiding.
The natives then decide that SG1 are friendly - just because they say they are.
And even though they have Teal'c with them.
And even after they decide that Teal'c is a murderer and must be executed, they still think the rest of the SG1 bunch are obviously fine, upstanding people. Even though Jack keeps on pointing his gun at them and yelling that he's going to attack unless they let Teal'c go.
Then they put Teal'c in a cave, escort the SG1 people in to talk to him (along with all their guns), and leave them all alone. Given that the team immediately starts discussing how they're going to break Teal'c out by using lots of firepower, this might not have been the wisest plan.
Of course, SG1 try to get in on the stupidity too - by refusing all legal counsel and insisting they'll handle Teal'c's trial by themselves, despite having no knowledge of the law. But that's a minor matter.
More importantly, the natives run and hide every time the Stargate begins to activate. And by the time it finishes activating, they're already in their caves. This is a central plot point throughout the entire episode.
So... can someone please explain to me how the Jaffa managed to "cut off their escape routes" before the natives had left the town?
Anyone?
So, yeah. This show is still annoying me. Horribly.
Unfortunately, it's so incredibly addictive, and so incredibly entertaining, that I feel compelled to keep watching anyway...