(no subject)
I'm really sick of it.
I wish it would just go away.
I'm sick of being ignored.
I find it funny when I go to a family party I am kind a just blocked out. I t's like I'm not even there. And I find it funny that not even my own fmaily members no my name. My own grandfather calls me Brian. And so does my uncle. It's because my cousoin Brian is the greatest. He is the best in the family. And I am just worthless shit. I was never asked to go out on the boat. I am was never asked to go over my grandparents house or any other houses on my dad's side of the family. The only relative that appreciates me on my dad's side is my aunt dee. But even now and then she can be rude and cruel not caring about how the words she says makes you feel.
What did I do to be treated like this? What was my purpose for being born? Was it to be ignored? I am sick of it. I just want it to stop. Why dont they see me? Am I invisible to them. If anything happened to me would they care? I love them in all but am I loved back. Is it that kind of love that they have to love me because I am family?
I wish it would just go away.
I'm sick of being ignored.
I find it funny when I go to a family party I am kind a just blocked out. I t's like I'm not even there. And I find it funny that not even my own fmaily members no my name. My own grandfather calls me Brian. And so does my uncle. It's because my cousoin Brian is the greatest. He is the best in the family. And I am just worthless shit. I was never asked to go out on the boat. I am was never asked to go over my grandparents house or any other houses on my dad's side of the family. The only relative that appreciates me on my dad's side is my aunt dee. But even now and then she can be rude and cruel not caring about how the words she says makes you feel.
What did I do to be treated like this? What was my purpose for being born? Was it to be ignored? I am sick of it. I just want it to stop. Why dont they see me? Am I invisible to them. If anything happened to me would they care? I love them in all but am I loved back. Is it that kind of love that they have to love me because I am family?