i'm so tired...

[defunct_me]

....of feeling depressed
....of being sad
....of feeling let down
....of feeling hopeless
....of complaining
....of getting my heart broken
....of caring
....of feeling bitter
....of making mistakes
....of crying

I've never felt so shitty in my life. Never. And this has been going on for the past 6 or 7 months. And it never feels like things are getting better. And no matter how hard I try to move on it seems like I can't. And it seems like not one damn person honestly cares. I've tried to talk to friends about it, I've tried to talk to family, but it just seems like they're all tired of hearing it. But I'm more tired of feeling this way, believe me. I want to stop feeling sad, and I want to stop caring, and I want to stop feeling hurt at every little thing he does to show he doesn't care (and there are a lot). I want to be happy. I want to move on. I occupy my life with so many things, just to keep thoughts of him at bay. Nothing has worked. Nothing.

I really can't stand feeling like this anymore. I really can't....

What's scary is I don't think anyone knows or cares how serious this is for me right now.