out of curiousity what are the chances....
...that any one person is "the one"?
I mean, do you believe in that type of thing? I don't know, but I don't think I do, I think there are people who are truly compatible, but that's as far as my cynicism will allow my heart to explore. That's not so bad though is it? Maybe I'm just way to serious for a 23 year old.
If I'm going by what's going on around me, I should be having these grand casual sex relationships, many. I should either be married or engaged. I should be something, anything.
I don't have any of that. I have a crush. I'm wary of that. Remember the last time I wrote about a crush here? He ended up being a jerk, pretty on the outside, poison on the inside. Doesn't explain why I fell in love with him though, or still love him. What is it about us women that are preconditioned to want to be with bastards?
But...about this crush...I don'tknow. I like him. I like him a lot. It's weird. Of course, all the standards apply, I don't want to get hurt, I don't know if I can trust him. BUT IT'S JUST A FUCKING CRUSH! Except it's mutual....yeah but the last one was mutual and I still have a bitter taste in my mouth. I don't know, this shit gets old though. Getting hurt gets tiresome to the point where you don't even want to try anymore....
I honestly want to believe there's something different about this guy. Well, there is, he's put together, he HAS GOALS, he's so intelligent it's ridiculous. Just being around him challenges me to do more with myself. He already owns property (houses, not one), he's starting a busy, and it's not just a fly by night idea, he's actually applying for government loans....he has it all worked out. I've never met a more motivated man in my life...It's so good to talk to him, he actually listens to what I"m saying. I don't know, this sounds more like idol worship...Well I'm just going to leave it at this because I am superstitious and I want things to work out for us, but I just get this feeling they won't, just because things like this always end up being too good to be true....
Sigh....I don't know...
I mean, do you believe in that type of thing? I don't know, but I don't think I do, I think there are people who are truly compatible, but that's as far as my cynicism will allow my heart to explore. That's not so bad though is it? Maybe I'm just way to serious for a 23 year old.
If I'm going by what's going on around me, I should be having these grand casual sex relationships, many. I should either be married or engaged. I should be something, anything.
I don't have any of that. I have a crush. I'm wary of that. Remember the last time I wrote about a crush here? He ended up being a jerk, pretty on the outside, poison on the inside. Doesn't explain why I fell in love with him though, or still love him. What is it about us women that are preconditioned to want to be with bastards?
But...about this crush...I don'tknow. I like him. I like him a lot. It's weird. Of course, all the standards apply, I don't want to get hurt, I don't know if I can trust him. BUT IT'S JUST A FUCKING CRUSH! Except it's mutual....yeah but the last one was mutual and I still have a bitter taste in my mouth. I don't know, this shit gets old though. Getting hurt gets tiresome to the point where you don't even want to try anymore....
I honestly want to believe there's something different about this guy. Well, there is, he's put together, he HAS GOALS, he's so intelligent it's ridiculous. Just being around him challenges me to do more with myself. He already owns property (houses, not one), he's starting a busy, and it's not just a fly by night idea, he's actually applying for government loans....he has it all worked out. I've never met a more motivated man in my life...It's so good to talk to him, he actually listens to what I"m saying. I don't know, this sounds more like idol worship...Well I'm just going to leave it at this because I am superstitious and I want things to work out for us, but I just get this feeling they won't, just because things like this always end up being too good to be true....
Sigh....I don't know...