(no subject)
ive come to the conclusion that:
-I have no real friends..The ones i thought were friends, betray me in front of my face or behind my back.
-I must be the ugliest motherfucker in the world.
-no matter how hard i try, i dont think ill ever get katie back the way i had her in the start, and i dont even know what went wrong...i atleast think i am entitled to knowthat...
-I am being used by two bands...2 bands in which each member of both bands claim to be my friends other than what i do for their band...But, their actions show different. theres only 1 of them i can say isnt like that...
-i still have no fucking job.
- my mom is sad and depressed- no matter how hard she tries to hide it, i am her son, im not stupid. I want to see her, but every time i do, i just end up leaving later feeling sad b/c i know shes not happy with herself and my step dad...and i know i have let her down being back in indy not doing anything with my schooling..fuck im let down , and its me..
- my dad is in a deep depression again, and on meds again. (he lives in nj so i cant even see him)
- I really have no support to get me going...
- My step dad could care less im alive. I have to be civil with him for the sake of my mom, and its very very hard for me to do that..
-im going broke...my 2 grand is now 900 bucks since ive been unemployed..
-im lonely, sad, depressed, upset, pissed off, every possible negative feeling is runnign through my body...I could care less if this comes off as feel bad for me topic...its a journal and ill fucking say how i feel. thats it. now im going to bed so i can wake up tomorrow feeling the same and wondering why im waking up.
-My friend Joe that was hit by a car...hes doing better but will never play soccer for a team again, let alone get where he was, and where he was definetly headed. That's such a blow to me even..he was the best damn soccer player ive ever met and i used to play for years..
-My other good friend in the east coast was diagnosed with throat cancer and is said to only live for 3 more years..that means hell be gone when hes 28 if that happens...28...how fucking FUCKED UP IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!';;;;SZZBLOK0R=3
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-for some reason , i want to see lauren, my ex...just to see her, someone who knows me...and i just need someone to hold onto all night...nothing more, just a warm body that gives a shit whether or not im there..im so fuicking fucked up right now...
-I have no real friends..The ones i thought were friends, betray me in front of my face or behind my back.
-I must be the ugliest motherfucker in the world.
-no matter how hard i try, i dont think ill ever get katie back the way i had her in the start, and i dont even know what went wrong...i atleast think i am entitled to knowthat...
-I am being used by two bands...2 bands in which each member of both bands claim to be my friends other than what i do for their band...But, their actions show different. theres only 1 of them i can say isnt like that...
-i still have no fucking job.
- my mom is sad and depressed- no matter how hard she tries to hide it, i am her son, im not stupid. I want to see her, but every time i do, i just end up leaving later feeling sad b/c i know shes not happy with herself and my step dad...and i know i have let her down being back in indy not doing anything with my schooling..fuck im let down , and its me..
- my dad is in a deep depression again, and on meds again. (he lives in nj so i cant even see him)
- I really have no support to get me going...
- My step dad could care less im alive. I have to be civil with him for the sake of my mom, and its very very hard for me to do that..
-im going broke...my 2 grand is now 900 bucks since ive been unemployed..
-im lonely, sad, depressed, upset, pissed off, every possible negative feeling is runnign through my body...I could care less if this comes off as feel bad for me topic...its a journal and ill fucking say how i feel. thats it. now im going to bed so i can wake up tomorrow feeling the same and wondering why im waking up.
-My friend Joe that was hit by a car...hes doing better but will never play soccer for a team again, let alone get where he was, and where he was definetly headed. That's such a blow to me even..he was the best damn soccer player ive ever met and i used to play for years..
-My other good friend in the east coast was diagnosed with throat cancer and is said to only live for 3 more years..that means hell be gone when hes 28 if that happens...28...how fucking FUCKED UP IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!';;;;SZZBLOK0R=3
\
-for some reason , i want to see lauren, my ex...just to see her, someone who knows me...and i just need someone to hold onto all night...nothing more, just a warm body that gives a shit whether or not im there..im so fuicking fucked up right now...