This is my thought for today...
*Well, as for my last post, ill sum up what I was talking about b/c i have to get it out.
*I went to College in LA, if you read older posts youll see a bunch of things i did while in school, and these are things im very proud of..Well, I've since moved back to Indy, and life has gone from one happy high extreme to the exact opposite.
*I work at Sam Ash now, in the guitar dept. My managers value me as much as I value an ant on the sidewalk. My coworkers other than maybe 3 seem to think its okay to not take me seriously. I get paid absolute dick pay, and dont atleast get appreciated in anyway to compensate. It's not going anywhere, and wont be leading to anything better than what it is now. This is no good. I didn't go to school and do all the cool shit i did for this. I'm sorry but, I am not happy and satisfied with a half asked life. Not happening for me.
*Now heres where it sucks. I could go back to LA, but then I'd be leaving a few things and maybe some opportunities aswell. I really have no grounded ties at the momment here, but, I really wish I did. For example, The girl Katie im "talking" to as she calls it...I like alot. More than I wish I did, b/c now, it's making me confused as to whether I want to stay or leave. It's clear that I'd stay if I knew something more was going to happen. But, right now, shes been confusing the hell out of me. One momment shes all about me, and then the next we'll all be hanging out and shell be on the complete other side of the room and not agknowledging my presence....Its alot of the bipolar - hot/cold thing. I am not down with that, and unfortunetly, almost everyone I come in contact with seem to do that.
*Now, maybe its a midwest thing, or an Indiana thing. I'm from Nj, and we are not like that. If we are, we atleast explain it or yell about it so theres valued reason, or just a lame excuse. Here, ppl act ways without any reason, or just honestly are fucked up and dont give a shit about how you feel. This is ironic to me, since the stereotypical thought of New Jersey being a shithole, and the people are no better than the place itself. That has annoyed the hell out of me b/c yes, there are some real ghetto spots, but in my eyes, Nj is a great place, and I love it. The diversity is great, and the people are real , well compared to Indy for the most part. Im rambling about a totally different topic now..Fuck, focus.
*Back to the problem. She is an amazing girl, that I really have become fond of, and it bothers me when she throws me mixed signals, for no reason. I still have yet to have alot of alone time with her due to the fact that shes in a new band, and the singer at that...We have a big group of friends that are always around both of us now.. (xerosum, dystalis, and others not in the bands)....Now thats great and all that, but fuck....How is anything supposed to move forward if we cant get to know each other on another level...Look, I know I am a Scorpio, and I beleive in all that stuff, mainly b/c everything I've read on us, is absoluetly true to a tee. Freaks me out actually. I'm a very caring, deep thoughted person...I cant just have a shallow one night stand...I mean I have before, but I didnt like it, and it wasnt pre-planned..Its just not in my nature. If I am with someone, even if its not serious, and its just dating, I dont like to be with more than just that person. It just doesnt feel right to me...Its like, hey whats up...I love you, but in like 6 hours im going to see this other girl i like....wtf? how the fuck do you do that. I cant be like that..I hope thats not how she perceives me...Im thinking maybe it could be since shes been distant at times. I dont know why im putting so much thought in this, but, i think its since Ive been lonely and alone for so long, that someone finally has come along that i WANT to get to know, and actually made me feel again...I dont want to lose that, especially before I even really have her.
Theres alot more to say, and alot more is bothering me...But, ihave to go to work. later, thanks for reading if you did.
_________________________________________________________
*STOLEN FROM KAT* (this is pretty damn accurate)
D - You have trouble trusting people.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
E - You are a very exciting person.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
===========================================================
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C - You definitely have a partier side in you, dont be shy to show it.
D - You have trouble trusting people.
E - You are a very exciting person.
F - Everyone loves you.
G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H - You are not judgemental.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
J - Jealousy.
K - You like to try new things.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
M - Success comes easily to you.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
O - You are very open-minded.
P - You are very friendly and understanding.
Q - You are a hypocrite.
R - You are a social butterfly.
S - You are very broad-minded.
U - You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V - You have a very good physical and looks.
W -You like your privacy .
X - You never let people tell you what to do .
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
Z- You're always fighting with someone
*I went to College in LA, if you read older posts youll see a bunch of things i did while in school, and these are things im very proud of..Well, I've since moved back to Indy, and life has gone from one happy high extreme to the exact opposite.
*I work at Sam Ash now, in the guitar dept. My managers value me as much as I value an ant on the sidewalk. My coworkers other than maybe 3 seem to think its okay to not take me seriously. I get paid absolute dick pay, and dont atleast get appreciated in anyway to compensate. It's not going anywhere, and wont be leading to anything better than what it is now. This is no good. I didn't go to school and do all the cool shit i did for this. I'm sorry but, I am not happy and satisfied with a half asked life. Not happening for me.
*Now heres where it sucks. I could go back to LA, but then I'd be leaving a few things and maybe some opportunities aswell. I really have no grounded ties at the momment here, but, I really wish I did. For example, The girl Katie im "talking" to as she calls it...I like alot. More than I wish I did, b/c now, it's making me confused as to whether I want to stay or leave. It's clear that I'd stay if I knew something more was going to happen. But, right now, shes been confusing the hell out of me. One momment shes all about me, and then the next we'll all be hanging out and shell be on the complete other side of the room and not agknowledging my presence....Its alot of the bipolar - hot/cold thing. I am not down with that, and unfortunetly, almost everyone I come in contact with seem to do that.
*Now, maybe its a midwest thing, or an Indiana thing. I'm from Nj, and we are not like that. If we are, we atleast explain it or yell about it so theres valued reason, or just a lame excuse. Here, ppl act ways without any reason, or just honestly are fucked up and dont give a shit about how you feel. This is ironic to me, since the stereotypical thought of New Jersey being a shithole, and the people are no better than the place itself. That has annoyed the hell out of me b/c yes, there are some real ghetto spots, but in my eyes, Nj is a great place, and I love it. The diversity is great, and the people are real , well compared to Indy for the most part. Im rambling about a totally different topic now..Fuck, focus.
*Back to the problem. She is an amazing girl, that I really have become fond of, and it bothers me when she throws me mixed signals, for no reason. I still have yet to have alot of alone time with her due to the fact that shes in a new band, and the singer at that...We have a big group of friends that are always around both of us now.. (xerosum, dystalis, and others not in the bands)....Now thats great and all that, but fuck....How is anything supposed to move forward if we cant get to know each other on another level...Look, I know I am a Scorpio, and I beleive in all that stuff, mainly b/c everything I've read on us, is absoluetly true to a tee. Freaks me out actually. I'm a very caring, deep thoughted person...I cant just have a shallow one night stand...I mean I have before, but I didnt like it, and it wasnt pre-planned..Its just not in my nature. If I am with someone, even if its not serious, and its just dating, I dont like to be with more than just that person. It just doesnt feel right to me...Its like, hey whats up...I love you, but in like 6 hours im going to see this other girl i like....wtf? how the fuck do you do that. I cant be like that..I hope thats not how she perceives me...Im thinking maybe it could be since shes been distant at times. I dont know why im putting so much thought in this, but, i think its since Ive been lonely and alone for so long, that someone finally has come along that i WANT to get to know, and actually made me feel again...I dont want to lose that, especially before I even really have her.
Theres alot more to say, and alot more is bothering me...But, ihave to go to work. later, thanks for reading if you did.
_________________________________________________________
*STOLEN FROM KAT* (this is pretty damn accurate)
D - You have trouble trusting people.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
E - You are a very exciting person.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
===========================================================
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C - You definitely have a partier side in you, dont be shy to show it.
D - You have trouble trusting people.
E - You are a very exciting person.
F - Everyone loves you.
G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H - You are not judgemental.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
J - Jealousy.
K - You like to try new things.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
M - Success comes easily to you.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
O - You are very open-minded.
P - You are very friendly and understanding.
Q - You are a hypocrite.
R - You are a social butterfly.
S - You are very broad-minded.
U - You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V - You have a very good physical and looks.
W -You like your privacy .
X - You never let people tell you what to do .
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
Z- You're always fighting with someone