Blogging about Mom
Well it has been about a year and a half since Mom passed. I know I posted in the past about her and I am trying in a way to tell my story so ...
In 2009 I finally decided I needed to seperate from my mother before she did irepiacably harm menatlly to my daughter. It saddens me to think that one would have to do that but I had know for several years something was wrong with her mentally I would beg and plead with her, but she would always resort to the "Its always my fault, I am wrong, no one loves me" . Around the age 35 I noticed she never took care of herself showering or brushing her teeth, Eye appointments, DOctors only for pain meds ( which she would use up a months supply in a week and a half to two weeks) and to actually cleaning. Now if you decided to clkean anything she would rampage and rage about it not to the kids if they did it or even if I did but always to me and she would scream "Your Damn Kids did_______! or LOOK at what your Kids did! "
My daughter the sweetheart that she was spent a day cleaning the kitchen while my mother was out doing Gods knows what, she had cashed in her life insurance to buy a mobility scooter and other crap , but my daughter she was so proud of how the kitchen looked. I got home before my mother and praised her she had done a great job she was happy I was proud she was only 12. We sat down and watched a movie we were happy enjoying ourselves but it wasnt going to remain that way. My Mother came hoe and screamed for my son to help her lug in what ever she had bought, then she saw the kitchen. I sat there praying she would be happy, then her head swung our way with that look. "Who touched my Kitchen!" I sent my daughter to her room to hide, my son was frozen in the entry way. 3 hours she screamed and demanded to know where things were the whole time she belittled my daughter screaming about how dare she touch her kitchen. My Daughter who I was trying to defend was crying in her room , but my Mother did not care as she had disturbed her mess touched her things and we really did not matter to her her things matter more then her grand daughter.
Later that night my daughter confided in me she would never clean anything in her house again and she would leave as soon as possiable. I confronted my Mother the next day and she as always downplayed what happened No I did not yell at anyone I did not do that You area lying. I kept saying Mom you need help you lashed out at your Grand daughter you swore at her you belittled her you were trying to break down her spirit just like you broke me and My son. She Stopped and looked at me and said "I did not I only ever did the best I could for you I gave up everything to give you all that I could I never yelled at you or the grand children NEVER yes always blame me its my fault I am always wrong I never do anything right just blame me! I walked away to my room and sat and decided I needed to get away to break away from me if I was going to save my daughter it took several years and a friend in Hawaii to offer the reason why I needed to move out and away but it was a opertunity I was not going to let pass.