Im Really bored if you cant tell...and high too.
Fuck, man what am I doing? Im I a fucking retard or something? Right now Im about mid-way not quite as high as I was earlier, Im definitely peaked out. Being high is such a pleasant state you know. Not like being drunk, speeded out, or pilled. I like it waay better, Im calmer, soothed, and concentrated. Sober's not like that, Im more highstrung, bent, and emotional. Music's definitly better. Oh shit Im dipping out, Ive had a jagged downward spike in my high. Ive suddenly had a huge drop in my energy. Im suddenly still, and as I type I have to constantly backspace mis-spelled words and anounciations. Im not thinking about the bar anymore, I still hate it though. I hate people anyway. Im still high, tired though. Surges of a tiresome circulatory system command me to lye down and fall under the unforgiving commander, sleep. Minds domain is calm now randomly tossing qwerky words into a sentence as my fingers move accross the keyboard as if a mind of their own. Television keeps randomly drawing my attention away from the typing to stare randomly at infomercials and different late night dabble. I really dont want to type anymore but my fingers keep drawing into the typing frenzy. My names been uttered by one thousand lips and yet none at the same time. My impact on the world has stretched itself across many nations and yet Ive seen none affected. The works Ive created in my life have been viewed as influential and amazing, yet Ive never been named once by any. The sad truth is Im just a man, simple and yet complex. My mind understands that I will never impact the world. So upon this I will view my world as what I can touch and feel. If I can make myself viewed as talented and smart by my peer then I have impacted MY world. People will before me and if they pass me by I will not be departed. Only those who have made me special in their worlds, will be viewed as special in mine. For I am only human, I possess no supernatural powers, I cant fly nor am I above normal. I am limited by my human form, as are they. I shall not view any as above one or another, unless one has commanded a grasp for my attention in one way or another. These human contacts may be varied from temporary or permantent, these are the people who make you feel as you want to be feeled. Needed, loved and appreciated as you are. Commitment, Dishonesty, Love, Hate, Death, Life. These are all things of a sociologic nature. How you interact with people around you will be shaped in the early days of childhood and elementry school, and how well you communicate and socialize with others the rest of your live. Childhood is the most crucial point in ones life and childhood will vary with age some will spend the first seventeen years of their lives in this stage. Burn your life, Burn the past, prepare to open into the future. Lifes kinda funny, some people are born lucky born into happy homes caring friends and bright futures, while others will struggle throughout life getting lemon after lemon defining hard luck and just trying their best not to die. Im glad I wasnt born in malaysia or thailand. No matter how hard you things are and no matter how bad the situation may seem, there will always be someone in worse conditions. Africa. I guess I lucky..most people dont think so I dont have all the awesome stuff. No mansion no bently, no ice. But there are definitly people who look at what you dont got and what you got. Im bitter...I dont mean to be, I guess it's the nature of the beast when your all pent up and emotinally binded as I am. Im tired of feeling this way and Im the one at fault. I should just let it all go, but I lack self confidence in what I say and do. As the cables unlock and release from me, I will not be seperated from who I am a sad relection of who I was told I could be as a child. I was told I could be anything, but due to my genetic limitations I was born into a regular family with millions of problems...no whitehouse for me, no hospital staff before me, and no courtroom before me. Will live and I will die...I appologize for this ahead of time. Misery is true to love company, but it's not nesicerly interested in the party. Why does it frequent you so often? Born with a tail I guess. I believe that there is a higher power, I really dont know em, but if he's listening, he can start helping me out here Im kinda drowning here! I wish I could talk with my mind with out having to use my mouth, Ive decided to take lazy into the 22nd century. Mankind will abandon speach for a new unified way of communication...brainwaves.