when to say good-bye (prose; 243w)

[deerruhan]

A/N: what are words; felt unbelievably melancholy after re-reading the little mermaid and so many fic ideas but i just word barfed this instead


when i was very young i captured almost twenty butterflies
they were very beautiful
the golden dust from their mottled wings
tiny flutterings like kisses against my hand

i put them all inside a plastic food container
the only transparent one i could find
and watched them dance on my window sill
little shadows thrown against the wall

the next morning they were all very still
grandma threw them out and scolded me
for ruining the container;
i had forgotten to make air holes and those twenty butterflies
had all suffocated overnight

do you see?
this is the reason why
if i ever tell you i love you
if i hold your hand and smile foolishly
if i make you soup when your sickly
and bug you for ice cream when its summer and stupid and in love

it is time for you to say good-bye

i do
i do know how to love
but i don't know how to do it very well, you see

i am a writer
i capture things with my words and cage them onto the paper
i take things i find beautiful and because i don't want to let them go i write them in

if i love you, if i find you beautiful and lovely, a precious infinity in your eyes
every action and word i do for you is just
another bar in the cage i want to keep you by my side

say good-bye