Old Friends
Something ... interesting happened to me yesterday. I met with some old school friends who I don't see as regularly anymore as I'd like. The whole evening, we were busy catching up, and for a couple of years now that involves - quite naturally and yet frighteningly - mainly talking about work. I told them about the Milton-translation I'm currently editing, but mostly, because they asked about it, I talked about the novel I'm working on. I tried to explain to them, why it was so hard finishing the bloody thing; it's just getting longer and longer because both the story and the characters mostly they do what they want, leading me to new, exciting places. I finished describing that - probably in both flowery and vivid detail -, and they were all looking at me rather weirdly, finally saying: "Uhm, are you stoned when you're writing?" They didn't mean it seriously, except they did, you know? I was quite flabbergasted. I mean, I am used to people saying "Oh man, I could never write like that, I need to plan everything out in advance!" or even to: "Uhm, you do know your characters aren't actually sentinent beings with their own free will, do you?" (To which, in my heart of hearts, I secretly answer: "Uhm, no?"). My flatmates tease me constantly, whenever I complain that my stories and characters have, once again, taken on a life of their own. I am not, however, used to utter, blank not-understanding. Perhaps I didn't explain the whole thing very well, but I mean, have those people never heard of "creative process"? The term seems to me quite self-explanatory. Do they think a story just pops up in my brain, complete with a beginning, a middle and an ending? ... And then it occured to me: No, they probably don't know. I obviously never actually talked to those old friends of mine about the way I write and feel while doing it. And that got me thinking: When the bloody hell did I start to become so comfortable with talking not only about my stories but also the process of writing as experienced by me? Sure, since moving out and studying I got used to people who at least have some idea about the craziness that is writing and wouldn't think you mad just because you sound a little weird describing your creative process. But that wasn't even the point! I mean, my old friends were looking at me as if I had two heads and one of them was talking in Chinese, but still I didn't care! Sure, I smoothed over my crazy-assed speech a bit, talking about speaking in metaphor and about synapses connecting forming new associations, but I was really, really tempted to not do that and just let them think of me as crazy (which they probably still do, a little bit).
Weird.
Weird.