(no subject)

[deepbreaths]

deep breaths. woooooooo. WINTER SUCKS. it's cold, i get colds, i shiver and stay inside. when my feet and hands are icicles it hurts my BONES. there is nothing to look forward to in the winter, there is nothing heartwarming about strep throat and eating everything in sight and being pale and depressed. i have a general feeling of malease about me. i'm hoping it's the winter. right now things that used to excite me just depress me because they dont excite me. but i'm still hopeful, because it's the only thing i have. i hope for the warm weather and the excitement that spring brings. looking forward to playing outside and going on bikerides. the exhilaration of smelling fresh cut grass and newly blossoming flowers whip by your face as you ride the bike. allergies from nature as opposed to colds from germs. hot hot hot smoldering sun crisping up my half naked shameless body. sand BURNING my feet. sandals giving me blisters. i want to spend the summer with my boy, laying in the sand, watching the fireworks at point pleasant. sweaty bodies. fresh food, weekend trips away. water and sprinklers and barbecues. memorial day weekends. let me have it allll. BRING ME BACK TO LIFE. pull me from my dulldroms and my anxiety. my obsession with catching a cold, my distain for the day.

bring me back to life summer