growing up at 27?
I can feel myself changing. Just in the past few months even. But it is distinct.
I have always wanted a house and a life that is settled and certain (to come back to after gallivanting around the world doing field work, that is!)... but now it's becoming more. Ever since Paul and I even MENTIONED the possibility of getting married, I think about it all the time. I know it will happen and now I just think about when and how all the time. We'll have to live in the same city again first, so I get stressed about all of his job stuff that is keeping him in Thunder Bay and not going anywhere!
The biggest change by far though, is that I want a family. Screamy annoying kids in public places still sound like nails on a chalk-board to me - but I'm feeling the family-nesting instinct start to kick in. Mom said she didnt' start wanting kids until she was 27, when she had Christa. Maybe 27 is the magic age. When mom and dad were here for Christmas, dad made the first mention of 'grandchildren' we have ever heard from either of them. But it didn't seem unreasonable to me. He said he didn't want to be 80 before he could bounce grandkids on his knee - and I don't want him to be either. I WANT to give them grandchildren. I want to have a family with Paul. I think he'd be a good dad. I can picture it sometimes, him taking kids for a walk on the beach to find shells at low tide. HE would be the one to get them interested in nature because he sounds so much like a kid when he marvels at everything himself.
I'm not QUITE ready to give up my own life yet. I'd like to think that having a family doesn't require that, but in reality I'm afraid it does. A few more years of adventures, maybe if Paul and I get married soon we can have a few years to ourselves. In the same place indefinitely, where we're not always thinking of the next time someone has to leave.
But I want it now. And that's a start.
I have always wanted a house and a life that is settled and certain (to come back to after gallivanting around the world doing field work, that is!)... but now it's becoming more. Ever since Paul and I even MENTIONED the possibility of getting married, I think about it all the time. I know it will happen and now I just think about when and how all the time. We'll have to live in the same city again first, so I get stressed about all of his job stuff that is keeping him in Thunder Bay and not going anywhere!
The biggest change by far though, is that I want a family. Screamy annoying kids in public places still sound like nails on a chalk-board to me - but I'm feeling the family-nesting instinct start to kick in. Mom said she didnt' start wanting kids until she was 27, when she had Christa. Maybe 27 is the magic age. When mom and dad were here for Christmas, dad made the first mention of 'grandchildren' we have ever heard from either of them. But it didn't seem unreasonable to me. He said he didn't want to be 80 before he could bounce grandkids on his knee - and I don't want him to be either. I WANT to give them grandchildren. I want to have a family with Paul. I think he'd be a good dad. I can picture it sometimes, him taking kids for a walk on the beach to find shells at low tide. HE would be the one to get them interested in nature because he sounds so much like a kid when he marvels at everything himself.
I'm not QUITE ready to give up my own life yet. I'd like to think that having a family doesn't require that, but in reality I'm afraid it does. A few more years of adventures, maybe if Paul and I get married soon we can have a few years to ourselves. In the same place indefinitely, where we're not always thinking of the next time someone has to leave.
But I want it now. And that's a start.