Alcohol and Family
I'm looking for some advice here....
I'm play bass in a band with my cousin. He has serious alcohol issues. He's 27 and the doctors told him that if he doesn't stop drinking his liver will give up by the time he's 30. No one can get him to stop. He's under the impression that there is nothing he can do and he'll die young. Talking to him about it is like banging your head against a brick wall. I went over to a friend of his house last month and they were reminiscing about the time he pissed his pants. His response was to ask which time. My first thought was "You pissed your pants?!?!?" followed by the realization that it was not an isolated incident. Even at my worst I have never pissed myself. He seems to think it's funny and all part of this life of the party persona he has. A few weeks after that I went to dollar beer night with him. His tab was $160 at DOLLAR BEER night because he kept buying rounds for the entire bar.
Anyway, there is always plenty of beer at rehearsals. I'm not a heavy drinker there (3 beers and I play like crap), but I'm really torn on whether I should drink at all in front of him. I know that it's ultimately up to him, but should I bite the bullet, not drink and try to be the good example? I asked him and he said that will make him feel worse. Everyone seems to think that drinking in front of him is a shitty thing to do, but since there is beer there anyway, I'm almost thinking that at least the few I have will mean less that he will have if I do drink.
He was doing well for about 2 weeks (as far as I knew), but then I brought the beer this last Tuesday and he drank. Now if I hadn't brought it the guitarist would have so I really shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. Does anyone have any advice on this? Whether I drink or not the beer will be there. Shall I abstain or go ahead and drink my couple of beers? Would that be enabling him?
I'm play bass in a band with my cousin. He has serious alcohol issues. He's 27 and the doctors told him that if he doesn't stop drinking his liver will give up by the time he's 30. No one can get him to stop. He's under the impression that there is nothing he can do and he'll die young. Talking to him about it is like banging your head against a brick wall. I went over to a friend of his house last month and they were reminiscing about the time he pissed his pants. His response was to ask which time. My first thought was "You pissed your pants?!?!?" followed by the realization that it was not an isolated incident. Even at my worst I have never pissed myself. He seems to think it's funny and all part of this life of the party persona he has. A few weeks after that I went to dollar beer night with him. His tab was $160 at DOLLAR BEER night because he kept buying rounds for the entire bar.
Anyway, there is always plenty of beer at rehearsals. I'm not a heavy drinker there (3 beers and I play like crap), but I'm really torn on whether I should drink at all in front of him. I know that it's ultimately up to him, but should I bite the bullet, not drink and try to be the good example? I asked him and he said that will make him feel worse. Everyone seems to think that drinking in front of him is a shitty thing to do, but since there is beer there anyway, I'm almost thinking that at least the few I have will mean less that he will have if I do drink.
He was doing well for about 2 weeks (as far as I knew), but then I brought the beer this last Tuesday and he drank. Now if I hadn't brought it the guitarist would have so I really shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. Does anyone have any advice on this? Whether I drink or not the beer will be there. Shall I abstain or go ahead and drink my couple of beers? Would that be enabling him?