pumpkin
Even in my dreams, I feel the fear of being left out. Lol, but this time about “bring your own pumpkin & carve it day” at who-the-hell-knows where. But there I am, complaining, “why didn’t anyone tell me?! Huh, Michelle Obama…? And I woke up at 2:00A to get here early!!” Haha, wherever “here” is. And oh, the distant feelings of those all night endeavors of drinking, using, partying with a destination of nowhere. Feeling like a badass for feeling like a rebel without a cause, yet feeling so anxious about what might happen and how will I ever make it home? Those old feelings, they definitely die hard. Part of me hopes I’ll never forget them. So much more of me, if not all of me, hopes I never have to experience them again.
I’m starting to really enjoy my dreams and love the messages I’m receiving. Even when I wake up feeling like the odd-duck out. Or like a weirdo for sneaking into someone’s house to steal their letters.
Time to start surrendering and accept this next phase of whateverness this is. For it’s beautiful and it’s mine. And here it is and so am I. Ready to fear less and love more.
Onto the next dream…