No, really, you're not helping.
I know you think that you are, but you're not. What you are doing is coming dangerously close to a punch in the head. I will repeat that until either I feel better about things, or I am quite satisfied that you will stop it. Whatever "it" happens to be.
First of all, nobody that reads this thing is the reason behind this particular rant, seriously. There are just some folks in my day to day life that just can't accept that I am not wired like them or anybody they know and tend to project their particular life experience onto me. And believe me, it don't fit. I also happen to be doing the semicolon instead of apostrophe thing again, so please ignore any semicolons you may happen across.
I have been "helped" a lot lately. I have given up fighting being helped, no matter how irritating it is. I have found, over the course of years, it's much easier to just smile, do whatever it is they are going on about and let them go away feeling better about themselves after "helping". After they are out of sight, I will fix whatever they did back to the way I want it and be happy in the fact that there was no bloodshed. This time.
A couple of recent examples:
I was told to clean my desk. (I work in a small office where we pretty much operate as autonomous, mostly equal units, so it's not like I could really be forced, but again I comply to avoid whining) By now they should know better. I'm one of those people that doesn't clean their desk every day. Or week. Or month. Basically as long as the underlying structure still supports the load of stuff and papers, I'm good to go. If beams and iron start to bend, I'll work on it. This does not bother me. If you are a habitual desk cleaner, you have issues and need professional help. I can find within a few seconds anything on my desk that I need. I know where it all is. This is not idle boasting, it's truth that I have proven time and again, much to the chagrin of many people. If I happen to be working in a public spot, or have visitors, I'll clean up, otherwise bugger off. This is why I have an office with a door. It's just the way I am. I would much rather be concentrating on doing the things I am paid to do than to worry about if all my papers are facing the correct direction and color coded correctly in some folder. This should not present any problems, but apparently it does. It does not make me feel bad. Or anxious, or depressed or cluttered or any of those things that apparently it makes most of you feel. General life handles that anxiety for me, it has nothing to do with papers or desk real estate.
My car insurance company sent me a letter to inform me that they were going to do me a favor and separate my motorcycle out from my cars onto a separate "special" policy. They didn't ask. Didn't call to let me know this was available, didn't even really tell me much about it, just that it would happen in August. And apparently I could let them know how grateful I was then. I called the main office to ask what exactly brought this nonsense on and was cheerfully told that my coverage would stay the same and after some quick calculations, my bill would remain the same. I would just helpfully have two policies to stroke, pet and call George from now on. So with no benefits that I can see, they are happily making twice as much paperwork and admin tasks for us. Thanks, I guess?
Don't get me wrong, if somebody does something for me out of true generosity and good will, and really thinks about what they are doing, I am very appreciative. I have very kind, generous and incredibly amazing friends that make me happy on a regular basis. Yes, I'm talking about you there, too, even if you don't realize it. Sadly I also have people that don't have a clue about what's happening in my world that love to project the template for their little existence over mine in their eyes. That really doesn't work. They mean well, but they are incapable of understanding my world. It's not that I am complicated, quite the opposite in fact, I'm a pretty simple guy. I don't like change. I'm the guy at work that parks in the exact same spot every day. I keep pretty much a similar schedule every day, I drink the same things, I eat the same things. This covers about 90% of my life. The other 10% is mostly random events. I may drive a race car, jump out of a plane or balloon, go river rafting, canoeing or something. I may buy a ukelele or a motorcycle. Sometimes I'll just do something off the wall to see what happens, like use a bush-hog mower to crush aluminum cans or drive a golf cart into a creek. But I do those things based on my desires, not yours, thanks. Or for the reasons you may imagine.
Here's a quick example:
I moved into my small, very rectangular house about 14 years ago. I put my furniture in place and it worked quite well. I have never moved it. I never will, at least until it needs to be replaced (the couch is about ready to go at this point) or it breaks. I like the furniture where it is. That's why I placed it there. If I had wanted it somewhere else, wouldn't you think I would have put it there to begin with? Why in the everloving blue hell would I feel the need to shove it around in random configurations every few months? Apparently I should feel this according to most everybody around me or there is something very wrong with me. I don't feel bad about my furniture, but I'm told that I'm boring and depressed because I don't want to try new things. Trust me I've tried more new things than most folks will ever know about. My furniture positioning doesn't need to be one of those things, but I get "the look" every time I refuse to redecorate my house for no good reason. The house keeps me comfortable and the furniture holds me off the floor as needed. I'm good with that.
I understand that people need to rearrange their furniture for some reason or to paint their walls some odd color every 6 months or are for some reason concerned about the cloth things they hang over their windows matching other stuff in the house. I'm not. I'm still OK with that philosophy.
I understand that people think they know what I want, because it obviously should be the exact same thing as everybody else wants. I mean we're helping him when we rearrange his policy for no good reason, right? I mean we even called it the POWERSPORTS POLICY fercripesakes. He just has to want that right? No, my policy was working just fine for 10 years, I have no idea why you decided the need to give me the exact same policy, just on a new sheet of paper with a different number. And no, I'm not happy about it, but then what would I be able to do about it? Even chirpy lady on the phone really couldn't seem to understand why I would even be asking why they did it. I mean they're HELPING! Am I just nuts to question that?
I really don't want to come across as whiny here, I'm really not trying to be. And like I've already said, if somebody really does something for me out of a desire to be nice, I am truly appreciative, but holy cow, don't do it if you just see something that you happen to not agree with and assume that I would be better off being more like you. You're great, you really are, but I'm not you. I'm not going to be you. Not that being you is bad, it's just not being me. I'm perfectly happy with vanilla ice cream, a messy desk, not moving my furniture, not repainting stuff for no reason, not changing curtains, not fixing the dent in my passenger door, having loud exhaust, wearing t-shirts and jeans, owning a total of 4 pair of shoes, not wearing dress clothes, having no idea where my tie might be, etc. etc. etc. When I feel some reason to change those things, I will. Much like I had very long hair in high school, all the way up until I was about 20. One day I woke up, went to a local hair dresser and came back with very short hair. It was time for me, and I did it. Even then I had to run the gauntlet of a thousand questions - Why did you do it? Was there some reason, was there somebody you were trying to impress, did you need a change, did you want to try something new... And so forth. Still, to this day, nobody understands the concept of "I decided I wanted to cut it, and I did." No reason other than that, and I certainly have established that there's not a lot I do just to impress other people, so yeah.
That was a long winded rant about nothing important. Hope you enjoyed it, made me feel better if nothing else.
First of all, nobody that reads this thing is the reason behind this particular rant, seriously. There are just some folks in my day to day life that just can't accept that I am not wired like them or anybody they know and tend to project their particular life experience onto me. And believe me, it don't fit. I also happen to be doing the semicolon instead of apostrophe thing again, so please ignore any semicolons you may happen across.
I have been "helped" a lot lately. I have given up fighting being helped, no matter how irritating it is. I have found, over the course of years, it's much easier to just smile, do whatever it is they are going on about and let them go away feeling better about themselves after "helping". After they are out of sight, I will fix whatever they did back to the way I want it and be happy in the fact that there was no bloodshed. This time.
A couple of recent examples:
I was told to clean my desk. (I work in a small office where we pretty much operate as autonomous, mostly equal units, so it's not like I could really be forced, but again I comply to avoid whining) By now they should know better. I'm one of those people that doesn't clean their desk every day. Or week. Or month. Basically as long as the underlying structure still supports the load of stuff and papers, I'm good to go. If beams and iron start to bend, I'll work on it. This does not bother me. If you are a habitual desk cleaner, you have issues and need professional help. I can find within a few seconds anything on my desk that I need. I know where it all is. This is not idle boasting, it's truth that I have proven time and again, much to the chagrin of many people. If I happen to be working in a public spot, or have visitors, I'll clean up, otherwise bugger off. This is why I have an office with a door. It's just the way I am. I would much rather be concentrating on doing the things I am paid to do than to worry about if all my papers are facing the correct direction and color coded correctly in some folder. This should not present any problems, but apparently it does. It does not make me feel bad. Or anxious, or depressed or cluttered or any of those things that apparently it makes most of you feel. General life handles that anxiety for me, it has nothing to do with papers or desk real estate.
My car insurance company sent me a letter to inform me that they were going to do me a favor and separate my motorcycle out from my cars onto a separate "special" policy. They didn't ask. Didn't call to let me know this was available, didn't even really tell me much about it, just that it would happen in August. And apparently I could let them know how grateful I was then. I called the main office to ask what exactly brought this nonsense on and was cheerfully told that my coverage would stay the same and after some quick calculations, my bill would remain the same. I would just helpfully have two policies to stroke, pet and call George from now on. So with no benefits that I can see, they are happily making twice as much paperwork and admin tasks for us. Thanks, I guess?
Don't get me wrong, if somebody does something for me out of true generosity and good will, and really thinks about what they are doing, I am very appreciative. I have very kind, generous and incredibly amazing friends that make me happy on a regular basis. Yes, I'm talking about you there, too, even if you don't realize it. Sadly I also have people that don't have a clue about what's happening in my world that love to project the template for their little existence over mine in their eyes. That really doesn't work. They mean well, but they are incapable of understanding my world. It's not that I am complicated, quite the opposite in fact, I'm a pretty simple guy. I don't like change. I'm the guy at work that parks in the exact same spot every day. I keep pretty much a similar schedule every day, I drink the same things, I eat the same things. This covers about 90% of my life. The other 10% is mostly random events. I may drive a race car, jump out of a plane or balloon, go river rafting, canoeing or something. I may buy a ukelele or a motorcycle. Sometimes I'll just do something off the wall to see what happens, like use a bush-hog mower to crush aluminum cans or drive a golf cart into a creek. But I do those things based on my desires, not yours, thanks. Or for the reasons you may imagine.
Here's a quick example:
I moved into my small, very rectangular house about 14 years ago. I put my furniture in place and it worked quite well. I have never moved it. I never will, at least until it needs to be replaced (the couch is about ready to go at this point) or it breaks. I like the furniture where it is. That's why I placed it there. If I had wanted it somewhere else, wouldn't you think I would have put it there to begin with? Why in the everloving blue hell would I feel the need to shove it around in random configurations every few months? Apparently I should feel this according to most everybody around me or there is something very wrong with me. I don't feel bad about my furniture, but I'm told that I'm boring and depressed because I don't want to try new things. Trust me I've tried more new things than most folks will ever know about. My furniture positioning doesn't need to be one of those things, but I get "the look" every time I refuse to redecorate my house for no good reason. The house keeps me comfortable and the furniture holds me off the floor as needed. I'm good with that.
I understand that people need to rearrange their furniture for some reason or to paint their walls some odd color every 6 months or are for some reason concerned about the cloth things they hang over their windows matching other stuff in the house. I'm not. I'm still OK with that philosophy.
I understand that people think they know what I want, because it obviously should be the exact same thing as everybody else wants. I mean we're helping him when we rearrange his policy for no good reason, right? I mean we even called it the POWERSPORTS POLICY fercripesakes. He just has to want that right? No, my policy was working just fine for 10 years, I have no idea why you decided the need to give me the exact same policy, just on a new sheet of paper with a different number. And no, I'm not happy about it, but then what would I be able to do about it? Even chirpy lady on the phone really couldn't seem to understand why I would even be asking why they did it. I mean they're HELPING! Am I just nuts to question that?
I really don't want to come across as whiny here, I'm really not trying to be. And like I've already said, if somebody really does something for me out of a desire to be nice, I am truly appreciative, but holy cow, don't do it if you just see something that you happen to not agree with and assume that I would be better off being more like you. You're great, you really are, but I'm not you. I'm not going to be you. Not that being you is bad, it's just not being me. I'm perfectly happy with vanilla ice cream, a messy desk, not moving my furniture, not repainting stuff for no reason, not changing curtains, not fixing the dent in my passenger door, having loud exhaust, wearing t-shirts and jeans, owning a total of 4 pair of shoes, not wearing dress clothes, having no idea where my tie might be, etc. etc. etc. When I feel some reason to change those things, I will. Much like I had very long hair in high school, all the way up until I was about 20. One day I woke up, went to a local hair dresser and came back with very short hair. It was time for me, and I did it. Even then I had to run the gauntlet of a thousand questions - Why did you do it? Was there some reason, was there somebody you were trying to impress, did you need a change, did you want to try something new... And so forth. Still, to this day, nobody understands the concept of "I decided I wanted to cut it, and I did." No reason other than that, and I certainly have established that there's not a lot I do just to impress other people, so yeah.
That was a long winded rant about nothing important. Hope you enjoyed it, made me feel better if nothing else.