New York and the influence closer to home
First off, I'm very happy for the decision that the fine folks of New York have come to in the extension of basic rights to a group of people that had been discriminated against for a very long time. Bravo. I do believe it's coming for the rest of the country, but it's going to take some time. To borrow the new "hip and trendy" slogan - Hang on, it gets better. Takes a while to retrieve the collective head from the collective backside as it were.
The thing is, being straight, it's hard for me to put myself into a place where I can understand what it's like not to have the option to be married. Not that I've had the option, but the option is an option if someone should decide to take me up on the option. Yeah, parse that one, I'll wait. I don't understand the issue. But then, I don't understand a lot of issues. Two guys or two girls want to get married, I'll toss some uncooked grain products in your general direction and tie cans and stuff to your rear bumper. More power to you. Being hetero, I simply don't get what you see in a guy if you are a guy yourself. Gay women on the other hand are a bit easier to understand. To quote Paul Reiser (explaining the male fascination with lesbians) in the most profound bit of wisdom I have probably ever heard from TV, "One - they're both beautiful, and B, I agree with them both." As a guy, I look in the mirror and pretty much decide very quickly, "Ooh, I ain't kissing that." But if that's what you're after, then by all means go right ahead as long as everybody's a consenting adult. In the interest of full disclosure, I also cannot fathom the fascination with disproportionately large breasted blonde women. (Yes, I said it, deal with it in your own way.) Brunettes with nice legs and proportionally sized features? Yes, please. Honesty sets me free, embrace it with me. I don't understand most hetero marriages or relationships, either, but then that's just me and apparently I have issues.
I have a family member who happens to be gay. He's an awesome guy, always been an awesome guy, and when I found out that he liked dudes, he remained an awesome guy. He's in a relationship with another awesome guy (haven't met him, but I've heard good things) and has been for many years. They don't live in a state where marriage is legal for them (yet), but I hope that one day they do so that they can get married and have the same things that currently legal types do. The interesting thing is that the remainder of his immediate family is very fundamentalist in their views. They do in fact view his "choice" as an abomination in the eyes of their faith and feel that he just needs to be "saved" in some way. (and no I don't think it's a choice any more than my predilection for dark hair is) Thankfully, he lives many states away from them, and over the years has developed a friendly relationship with them again despite the tension that sometimes can pop up. I think that they have accepted the fact that they can't change him, but will always hold out that hope and that he has pretty much accepted the same attitude for them. They aren't the type to abduct him in the night and send him off to Gay Camp or anything, so there's that at least. He does bring them up to visit him once a year or so and they have met his significant other. They still love him as their child, but that doesn't trump church on Sundays as to accepting who he is and never will as far as I can see. Which, I'll never understand.
More disclaiming: I'm not going to debate faith and religion here or anywhere else. People believe what they believe, and so do I. Much like other things, I find it incredibly difficult to put my head around what other people believe or feel, so I tend to follow "live and let live" as a philosophy, as long as you're not hurting anybody else. Doesn't mean in any way that I am OK with what you;re doing, just that I will accept it as a part of the landscape and move on.
I've said it before and it bears repeating - If you, in this world, find ANYONE that you feel that you cannot live without, that you feel you must be with forever, that you can accept no matter what, until the end of time, that you love unconditionally, then let nobody stand in your way. That is such a rare and exceptional thing that nobody on this plane of existence has the right to stop it. Maybe one day people will finally realize that fact and leave people to be happy. That can't be a bad thing for the world at all.
Maybe one day people will get over themselves long enough to let people be themselves. I'm not holding my breath, but I will hold onto at least a slight glimmer of hope.
The thing is, being straight, it's hard for me to put myself into a place where I can understand what it's like not to have the option to be married. Not that I've had the option, but the option is an option if someone should decide to take me up on the option. Yeah, parse that one, I'll wait. I don't understand the issue. But then, I don't understand a lot of issues. Two guys or two girls want to get married, I'll toss some uncooked grain products in your general direction and tie cans and stuff to your rear bumper. More power to you. Being hetero, I simply don't get what you see in a guy if you are a guy yourself. Gay women on the other hand are a bit easier to understand. To quote Paul Reiser (explaining the male fascination with lesbians) in the most profound bit of wisdom I have probably ever heard from TV, "One - they're both beautiful, and B, I agree with them both." As a guy, I look in the mirror and pretty much decide very quickly, "Ooh, I ain't kissing that." But if that's what you're after, then by all means go right ahead as long as everybody's a consenting adult. In the interest of full disclosure, I also cannot fathom the fascination with disproportionately large breasted blonde women. (Yes, I said it, deal with it in your own way.) Brunettes with nice legs and proportionally sized features? Yes, please. Honesty sets me free, embrace it with me. I don't understand most hetero marriages or relationships, either, but then that's just me and apparently I have issues.
I have a family member who happens to be gay. He's an awesome guy, always been an awesome guy, and when I found out that he liked dudes, he remained an awesome guy. He's in a relationship with another awesome guy (haven't met him, but I've heard good things) and has been for many years. They don't live in a state where marriage is legal for them (yet), but I hope that one day they do so that they can get married and have the same things that currently legal types do. The interesting thing is that the remainder of his immediate family is very fundamentalist in their views. They do in fact view his "choice" as an abomination in the eyes of their faith and feel that he just needs to be "saved" in some way. (and no I don't think it's a choice any more than my predilection for dark hair is) Thankfully, he lives many states away from them, and over the years has developed a friendly relationship with them again despite the tension that sometimes can pop up. I think that they have accepted the fact that they can't change him, but will always hold out that hope and that he has pretty much accepted the same attitude for them. They aren't the type to abduct him in the night and send him off to Gay Camp or anything, so there's that at least. He does bring them up to visit him once a year or so and they have met his significant other. They still love him as their child, but that doesn't trump church on Sundays as to accepting who he is and never will as far as I can see. Which, I'll never understand.
More disclaiming: I'm not going to debate faith and religion here or anywhere else. People believe what they believe, and so do I. Much like other things, I find it incredibly difficult to put my head around what other people believe or feel, so I tend to follow "live and let live" as a philosophy, as long as you're not hurting anybody else. Doesn't mean in any way that I am OK with what you;re doing, just that I will accept it as a part of the landscape and move on.
I've said it before and it bears repeating - If you, in this world, find ANYONE that you feel that you cannot live without, that you feel you must be with forever, that you can accept no matter what, until the end of time, that you love unconditionally, then let nobody stand in your way. That is such a rare and exceptional thing that nobody on this plane of existence has the right to stop it. Maybe one day people will finally realize that fact and leave people to be happy. That can't be a bad thing for the world at all.
Maybe one day people will get over themselves long enough to let people be themselves. I'm not holding my breath, but I will hold onto at least a slight glimmer of hope.