(no subject)
Last weekend was 추석. ㅈ, who has quit her computer job and is studying to become a flight attendant, was initially intent on just staying home and avoiding avoiding the traffic, but i talked her into going home to 구미. For those who don't know during 추석, it is estimated that something like 90% of Koreans return to their home or ancestral home (큰집) for "festivities." As a point of comparison in the States 20% of Americans travel during Thanksgiving. Normally, the trip from 부산 in the South to 서울 takes 5-6 hours; during 추석, those numbers double. Nevertheless, she got a late us and missed most of the traffic. Once when I called her while she was in 구미, she gave the phone to her mother. There were some moments of misunderstanding (mostly on my part) but I seemed to have kept her laughing so it could not have been all bad. It seems that during their time together ㅈ, her mother and her sister were talking about me and my weight, or rather, its excess, seemed to be a major point of discussion. ㅈ has mentioned my growing 똥배 but I never realized how fat and out-of-shape I was until I experienced a "long weekend of the Seoul" in which I discovered that things had gotten so bad I am no longer able to do a single pull-up. (This caused junior high flash backs.) I had always assumed that though I was getting fat, I was still strong. This final humiliation--in front of ㅈ, and after talking myself up--was an ice cold wake-up. I have eliminated all sodas and snacks and I have decreased the amount of crappy Western food I eat.* Since it has gotten cooler, or rather, not scorching hot, I have been running and doing some strength exercises in the evenings. I could really not careless about weight (I'll never be the 135 pound bike racer, I was in university anyway) but I want to be stronger and healthy again. This is not so much a diet as it is a move towards being more careful with how I eat. Many people have commented that I have lost weight (I have heard "십 kg" but it smacks of flattery and I don't believe it) but I haven't noticed too much of a change. Regardless, I know I am not where I want to be.
One of the things that ㅈ mentioned to me was that during all the discussions of me with her mother and her sister (whom I call 언니님, despite it being wrong for many reasons and who calls me 빈씨 as in 케빈씨--get it? as if 케 was my last name) is that her mother said she wanted to invite me to 추석 next year. This is a very big deal as it would mean we are something like unofficially engaged. Neither ㅈ nor I are looking at it in those terms but we do see it as an implicit acceptance of the relationship, itself and an acceptance of me as a possible future member of the family. Korean parents often veto the marriage plans of their children when their children are dating other Koreans. Foreigners marring Koreans is, of course, not impossible but Korean parents are a necessary and often impossible hurdle. (ㅈ has told me straight out that if she has to choose between me and her family she will choose her family.) The idea that her mother wants to invite me into the family is something that I take as a huge honor and a great relief.
*Eating in Korea is a little like the Monty Python "Spam" sketch; It is hard to find disks that have no meat (except 비빔밥) but it is also hard to find dishes with a lot of meat.
One of the things that ㅈ mentioned to me was that during all the discussions of me with her mother and her sister (whom I call 언니님, despite it being wrong for many reasons and who calls me 빈씨 as in 케빈씨--get it? as if 케 was my last name) is that her mother said she wanted to invite me to 추석 next year. This is a very big deal as it would mean we are something like unofficially engaged. Neither ㅈ nor I are looking at it in those terms but we do see it as an implicit acceptance of the relationship, itself and an acceptance of me as a possible future member of the family. Korean parents often veto the marriage plans of their children when their children are dating other Koreans. Foreigners marring Koreans is, of course, not impossible but Korean parents are a necessary and often impossible hurdle. (ㅈ has told me straight out that if she has to choose between me and her family she will choose her family.) The idea that her mother wants to invite me into the family is something that I take as a huge honor and a great relief.
*Eating in Korea is a little like the Monty Python "Spam" sketch; It is hard to find disks that have no meat (except 비빔밥) but it is also hard to find dishes with a lot of meat.