BrtshHmr.
My teacher is always talking to her imaginary friend named "class".
1st day of school- I'm actually gonna try this year!
2nd day- Yeah, no.
"Age is just a number." "Yeah? Jail is just a room."
No I will NOT "walk calmly" OUT OF A BURNING BUILDING!!!
You should never fall asleep with your head under the pillow. You might wake up the next morning with no teeth and a mouth full of coins.
The weatherlady. Proving that women can be fucking wrong
What do sharks have in common with people? The only great ones are white.
The Guardian: 'Woman jailed for driving wrong way down motorway' 'Woman jailed for driving' would have been enough for me.
If Tetris has taught me anything it's that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
BBC News: Man 'hid partner's body in case' In case of what? Don't keep us in suspense.
A bad porn film is disgusting. A good porn film is even more disgusting.
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
My wife has just announced she is leaving me because I'm a compulsive liar. I think she knows about me and Beyonce.
I went to McDonalds today. The girl behind the counter said, "Can I take your order?" I said, "No you fucking can't .. get your own"
Drugs and alcohol are never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
http://vkontakte.ru/note1465662_11279113
1st day of school- I'm actually gonna try this year!
2nd day- Yeah, no.
"Age is just a number." "Yeah? Jail is just a room."
No I will NOT "walk calmly" OUT OF A BURNING BUILDING!!!
You should never fall asleep with your head under the pillow. You might wake up the next morning with no teeth and a mouth full of coins.
The weatherlady. Proving that women can be fucking wrong
What do sharks have in common with people? The only great ones are white.
The Guardian: 'Woman jailed for driving wrong way down motorway' 'Woman jailed for driving' would have been enough for me.
If Tetris has taught me anything it's that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
BBC News: Man 'hid partner's body in case' In case of what? Don't keep us in suspense.
A bad porn film is disgusting. A good porn film is even more disgusting.
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
My wife has just announced she is leaving me because I'm a compulsive liar. I think she knows about me and Beyonce.
I went to McDonalds today. The girl behind the counter said, "Can I take your order?" I said, "No you fucking can't .. get your own"
Drugs and alcohol are never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
http://vkontakte.ru/note1465662_11279113