Out of control
I'm changing. Perhaps its the medications. Theres really no way to know since I will have to be on medication for the rest of my life. I'm ok with that. At least I'm learning to be. I spent my life with my mind racing much faster than my body was ever able to keep up with, and now I've slowed down. Not that I'm not creative and passionate anymore, but that I am not constantly on the verge of spinning out of control. I am able to actually create and not just have ideas. I'm able to follow through with my ideas since my body is now on the same page as my mind. I'm able to identify my feelings, and desires. Oddly the calmer I am, the more seems to be coming together. I just found out that my school is covered 100%. What? How can that be? Somehow or another being <24 has benefited me since they only look at my mothers income and not mine. Since my mom is completely beyond poor, I get my school paid for now. Not sure why I had to pay out of pocket the last year, but who cares. I need it now. Not working for so long has created nothing short of a financial difficulty in my life, but it all seems to be coming together ok. I'm sitting in the coffee shop. People are completely fucking insane. Sure maybe I have a diagnosis, but I'm sane. These crazy people are out of control. I feel like I need to pick them up and carry them to the psych hospital right now! The internet is a tool for satan. Sex is a sin in regards to cleanliness,and whether your clean or dirty. Drugs is about nutrition not cocaine. Why do you think it is called the net? The web? Its a trap. All the while I am sitting here on my computer. You fucking morons! Satan is not controlling me threw the internet. Masons do not practice satanic rituals! The masons/eastern stars that I know are the most devoted Christians. The people are what is wrong with religion today. I bet next week I'll see her on the news with tnt strapped to her trying to get on a plane. 12 is the number of sex. 13 is the number of drugs. Soy milk contains estrogen and I"m going to grow a third tit if I drink it. Oh my word. God help me. I must pack up and leave. I have an hour to kill before I have to be at work, but I cannot listen to this. Socialistic warlocks. Come the fuck on you nutcase.