(no subject)

[debo17]

well im gonna go off the assumption that no one reads these things anymore. cuz i feel like talkin. So schools been in for about a month, ive been working at borders goin on 3 weeks, things at the law firm are slow, so im finally gettin into my regular schedule and i just can't believe how much my feet hurt these days. All i wanna do is sit down like all the time, but i've met some really awesome people. Theres some guys that remind me so much of my dad, so obviously i love them, and theres a guy thats just really easy to talk to. And theres this one chick that is sooo fucking cool :) So working long shifts isnt that bad cuz they're all there too, its pretty cool to get to know everyone. And then bitch about all the stupid people that come in. Its weird how a lot of people refuse to make eye contact or talk. This one woman came in and smelled like hot dogs...it really bothered me :) I should be making 800-900 a month so i can finally get a better car...hopefully i can save up. Lets see, on the more serious side of life, i must admit i'm not doing so well. I mean, im handling school and work and all of that really well, it keeps me busy and lets me avoid time to just sit and think. I just keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be better, but it doesnt seem to work out that way. I mean, its not like i sit at home and pig out on ice cream, pretty opposite, i'm going out with friends and hanging out with people and meeting new people, but its just not quite the same. I dunno, i guess you could say that i wake up and feel like i dont really belong anywhere. i dont know, i dont wanna make the same mistakes again but at the same time, im making a hypocrite out of myself because i can't follow my heart...ive been rejected and i just dont like having to deal with it. i dont know, ive never liked feeling weak or not in control of how i feel and what im doing...but im completely that. i'm all over the place, its like i just wanna go home, but there is no home anymore.

lost inside,
~dana*