(no subject)
It is exactly one week since 6th Sep 2005. This one week has been long and torturous... Seems that time is so slow and dull... I still get the heartache since that day. I really don't know how long I'll take to get over it. This is just too much for me. At times, I'll be thinking of really patching things up. But I'm afraid of the negligence, mood swings and her connection with her ex-boyfriend and that married guy. On the other hand, I'm glad that I don't have to put up with the negligence, mood swings and her behind-my-back connection with her ex-boyfriend and that married guy. Sigh... Dilemma, dilemma, dilemma... Sometimes, flashes of her being back together with her ex-boyfriend makes me feel so jealous and betrayed. Somehow, I can't stop all these images from flashing across my mind. Jealousy is not sour, but bitter to swallow in this sense...
I've been going jogging to numb myself. But it seems that I think more than I should when I'm jogging. I just want to concentrate on my breathing and jogging, but inevitably, I start to think of her. Take for instance, yesterday. I was dribing back from IKEA when an exceptionally heavy downpour occur at Suntec area. I start to think that she'll be without an umbrella, shoudl I turn back to go to NUS to fetch her home so that she won't get drenched. On the other hand, my mind tells me that she'll be accompanied by that Bernard guy who stays near her house and takes the same bus as her to work everyday. Even today when I was jogging past her house, I keep thinking I'll see her and Bernard walking from the bus-stop. I'm just a body of a tornado of emotions and thinkings... I think I'm going mad sooner or later. With the exams coming next week, things are not helping at all... Moreover, that stupid Kris refuses to return me my $500. Now my hope to topping up one of my bank accounts to above $500 is dashed... Guess I have to really start saving up from today. Sigh...
I really look forward to working so that I won't see my bank accounts being empty. I want to save up $40k and make my way to Tasmania to take my Bsc in Aquaculture. Hopefully can find a job that I like there... Most likely will get more info from Najjib when he comes back from Tasmania. To save up $40k, I guess I have to take up 2 jobs so that I can earn the most amount of money at the shortest amount of time. I don't mind sacrificing my weekends or even public holidays to work just to earn extra cash to fund my studies. No point talking to my parents about a loan because my dumb cousin, Guan, has already set a benchmark for me. He worked for a year after poly and went to Australia to take a 1-year degree. I bet Uncle must have sponsored him part of his fees. No way can someone earning $1700 a month save up enough to go Australia for a 1-year study. Even if he manages to save $1700 per month, he'll only have a total of $20400. This is just enough for the school fees. How about accomodation, food, travel and stuff like that? Never mind, since that benchmark is already, I just have to work my way to get my money to fund my own studies. Hopefully I can save more so that during my vacation, I can go to Japan and look for Greg and Ewa. Miss them and Japan... Hopefully can get to experience earthquake the next time I go there. Hahaha~ I really want to experience at least once of these natural disasters in my life. No, I don't want to experience a tsunami. That's just too much for a novice like me who have never experienced a single natural disasters. An earthquake will be cool so that my blog here can be a little more exciting... Rather than talking about my breakup, my woes, my troubles, an earthquake will really shake up this blog for once. Hahaha~
Now nothing is more important than saving up for my studies. I really so look forward to being in Tasmania and do the degree I fancy... Imagine, 8 hours of theory and 12 hours of practical per week.. My theory alone in poly is more 15hours... Plus 9 hours of practical in poly... Oh my god, just hell for me... I think I'll really enjoy the course and the practical and hands-on session of the course. But first, I have to get past this semester as well as next semester so that I can go to AVA and try my luck at getting employed there...
I've been going jogging to numb myself. But it seems that I think more than I should when I'm jogging. I just want to concentrate on my breathing and jogging, but inevitably, I start to think of her. Take for instance, yesterday. I was dribing back from IKEA when an exceptionally heavy downpour occur at Suntec area. I start to think that she'll be without an umbrella, shoudl I turn back to go to NUS to fetch her home so that she won't get drenched. On the other hand, my mind tells me that she'll be accompanied by that Bernard guy who stays near her house and takes the same bus as her to work everyday. Even today when I was jogging past her house, I keep thinking I'll see her and Bernard walking from the bus-stop. I'm just a body of a tornado of emotions and thinkings... I think I'm going mad sooner or later. With the exams coming next week, things are not helping at all... Moreover, that stupid Kris refuses to return me my $500. Now my hope to topping up one of my bank accounts to above $500 is dashed... Guess I have to really start saving up from today. Sigh...
I really look forward to working so that I won't see my bank accounts being empty. I want to save up $40k and make my way to Tasmania to take my Bsc in Aquaculture. Hopefully can find a job that I like there... Most likely will get more info from Najjib when he comes back from Tasmania. To save up $40k, I guess I have to take up 2 jobs so that I can earn the most amount of money at the shortest amount of time. I don't mind sacrificing my weekends or even public holidays to work just to earn extra cash to fund my studies. No point talking to my parents about a loan because my dumb cousin, Guan, has already set a benchmark for me. He worked for a year after poly and went to Australia to take a 1-year degree. I bet Uncle must have sponsored him part of his fees. No way can someone earning $1700 a month save up enough to go Australia for a 1-year study. Even if he manages to save $1700 per month, he'll only have a total of $20400. This is just enough for the school fees. How about accomodation, food, travel and stuff like that? Never mind, since that benchmark is already, I just have to work my way to get my money to fund my own studies. Hopefully I can save more so that during my vacation, I can go to Japan and look for Greg and Ewa. Miss them and Japan... Hopefully can get to experience earthquake the next time I go there. Hahaha~ I really want to experience at least once of these natural disasters in my life. No, I don't want to experience a tsunami. That's just too much for a novice like me who have never experienced a single natural disasters. An earthquake will be cool so that my blog here can be a little more exciting... Rather than talking about my breakup, my woes, my troubles, an earthquake will really shake up this blog for once. Hahaha~
Now nothing is more important than saving up for my studies. I really so look forward to being in Tasmania and do the degree I fancy... Imagine, 8 hours of theory and 12 hours of practical per week.. My theory alone in poly is more 15hours... Plus 9 hours of practical in poly... Oh my god, just hell for me... I think I'll really enjoy the course and the practical and hands-on session of the course. But first, I have to get past this semester as well as next semester so that I can go to AVA and try my luck at getting employed there...