(no subject)
After school yesterday, I went to NTU to look for CCL because he's organising a blood donation drive there. I want to do something to make myself feel alive. The past week had been torturous, tired, down, sad, frustrated, mixture of feelings and emptiness. I felt so inhumane... I thought donating blood will give me some pain to remind me that I'm after all, a human... I don't agree with the idea of physically torturing myself to feel pain. I thought since I want to feel pain, blood donation is the best option. Not am I only making myself feel alive, I'm actually doing a good deed. Like CCL said, I'm collecting karma...
I wrote a letter and burnt a CD for her. I passed the letter and CD to her sister, hoping to put a close to this chapter. After this, it's time I move on to the next chapter of life. She can do whatever she wants to do without having to report to me or dear that I'll be unhappy. She can even contact her ex-boyfriend and maybe go back to him... Like I said, I want my own life back. I'm having a tornado of mixed emotions and feelings. I just want to find friends to accompany me and tide me through this period of time. I read in Readers' Digest that people who fell out of love heal faster with the company of friends and family than those who didn't. I want to be healed as fast as possible.
Was very tired after blood donation yesterday. Fell asleep at about 11.30pm. But I woke up at 7.30am. Can't sleep. Don't know why... Got up to watch tv and slack around. Somehow, I felt aimless and tired. I don't know what I can do beside amending my application letter and resume later after lunch. I need to do something to keep myself occupied from thinking too much. Sometimes, images of her back together with her ex-boyfriend flash across my mind. Upon this, I really felt so weak and empty. I just feel like going to KTV and sing the hell out. I want to sing 林志炫 - 说不出的告别. I really feel so much from this song... I want to sing this song and cry out loud...
CCL said that after he became single, he's been doing a lot of meaningful stuff like being the president of blood donation drive in NTU, join the RedCross and doing volunteer work at old folks' home. For me, I also want to find things to occupy my time. Hopefully my friends have time for me... Hope they don't find me too troublesome...
I wrote a letter and burnt a CD for her. I passed the letter and CD to her sister, hoping to put a close to this chapter. After this, it's time I move on to the next chapter of life. She can do whatever she wants to do without having to report to me or dear that I'll be unhappy. She can even contact her ex-boyfriend and maybe go back to him... Like I said, I want my own life back. I'm having a tornado of mixed emotions and feelings. I just want to find friends to accompany me and tide me through this period of time. I read in Readers' Digest that people who fell out of love heal faster with the company of friends and family than those who didn't. I want to be healed as fast as possible.
Was very tired after blood donation yesterday. Fell asleep at about 11.30pm. But I woke up at 7.30am. Can't sleep. Don't know why... Got up to watch tv and slack around. Somehow, I felt aimless and tired. I don't know what I can do beside amending my application letter and resume later after lunch. I need to do something to keep myself occupied from thinking too much. Sometimes, images of her back together with her ex-boyfriend flash across my mind. Upon this, I really felt so weak and empty. I just feel like going to KTV and sing the hell out. I want to sing 林志炫 - 说不出的告别. I really feel so much from this song... I want to sing this song and cry out loud...
CCL said that after he became single, he's been doing a lot of meaningful stuff like being the president of blood donation drive in NTU, join the RedCross and doing volunteer work at old folks' home. For me, I also want to find things to occupy my time. Hopefully my friends have time for me... Hope they don't find me too troublesome...